11/28/2025
How we accidentally make kids more depressed by asking “Are you depressed?”
Children rarely understand or use adult mental-health labels. When we ask a child, “Are you depressed?” or “Do you have anxiety?”, we pull them out of their actual experience and into performing a diagnosis they can’t yet make sense of.
This doesn’t help them open up.
It often shuts them down.
Research shows that young children share more when adults reflect what they observe rather than asking them to identify a condition.
Instead of labels, try:
I’ve noticed you seem quieter than usual. How has your day been?
Something feels heavy for you lately. Want to tell me about it?”
What does your body feel like when you’re having a hard moment?”