
08/07/2025
We’ve been taught to consume other people’s healing like entertainment.
We want the transformation arc.
The tearful testimony followed by the triumphant comeback.
The grief story that ties itself up with a bow so we can feel relieved.
Yet real healing isn’t tidy.
It’s not always visible.
And it’s definitely not for anyone else’s comfort.
When we expect grief to look a certain way,
we pressure people to hide the parts that don’t fit the script.
We reward the mask,
and we miss the truth.
Grief literacy means unlearning that.
It means meeting people exactly where they are with no deadlines, no demands for proof.
It means valuing presence over performance,
and listening more than we judge.
If you’ve ever been asked to “look” healed before you were ready,
or caught yourself expecting it from someone else,
you’re not alone.
Where have you faked being “okay” for someone else’s comfort and what did it cost you? 👇🏽