05/04/2023
***Very Vulnerable Post****
You wanna know what its like battling with a chronic illness? I will be stuck on meds for the rest of my life, not just any minor stuff either, serious meds, that seriously affect my body!
I have been off one of these very important meds for almost week now, a week tomorrow to be exact. And its absolutely not of my own choice here. My doctor increased my dosage a few months ago, and then i switched to a pharmacy closer to home because my previous pharmacy was kinda far out of the way to get to regularly, and given the amount of meds that i am on due to my illness, i needed a place that i could get to much quicker. Well, so much for that. Its been two weeks, of me calling back and forth between the pharmacy and the doctors office, both places reiterating to me that it is the others place to straighten out the dosage issue. Neither place actually doing anything to rectify the situation, and me being the middle man suffering greatly in both pain, and mood swings because of how dangerous is to stop taking these kinds of meds so abruptly. To me, this speaks volumes about how uncoordinated as well as how unprofessional our healthcare system can be. The doctors insist that these meds are what its going to take to help you funtion as normally as possible while suffering with this chronic pain diagnosis, they warn you that stopping them abruptly could lead to some very serious, sometimes even deadly possible adverse reactions. And when you hurt this badly, and you weigh the pros and cons, it seems worth the risk as long as you take them responsibly. I try to make sure that any and all my meds are refilled no later than a week before the are to run out. And now, here i am, falling apart, just days before i am to start working again, which was also against my doctors recommendation, but sometimes, we have to push ourselves through in order to be able to take care of our families and ourselves, and all these "unprofessionals" are making this harder for me. My doctor, who has been telling me for just under a year now, since concluing his fibromyalgia diagnosis, that i need to trust him, because he has a "plan" for my fibro-management, that was to take a year to completely get through to where he wanted me to be, and before that year is even up, hes left me in the dust to move to another office in another city, hes got one month left in this office and not a single open appointment before his end date. The new doctor that he is dumping me on, will not be available until june or july for appointments, so that means people in my position are essentially screwed right now. I feel so bloody powerless and vulnerable.
I feel like there is not a single medical professional that i can trust right now. My fibro is progressive, and not managable without meds. The meds are supposed to slow the progression down. Im 39 years old and I own a cane already. Somedays, if i push myself too hard, i can barely even walk...much like ive felt this whole week without my one absent med. So where is the fairness here? What am i to seriously do? Im so frustrated. Im literally sitting here busting into tears at random times of the day without cause, just because my moods are uncontrolled right now. I dont know what else to do!
