Seven Mile Ranch

04/15/2026

The impact of AI on mental health

This post has been brewing in my mind for a while now. There are many angles to take (6 to be exact), but I am going to focus on one.

Our natural human yearning for connection.

We all have it. It's ingrained in us for survival, for belonging, for wellbeing. Being part of community increases life expectancy. The drive to connect is strong.

But how we use our energy to connect is where problems can arise and I can sum it up in one sentence -

"If I'm special they'll like me."

With this assumption, we vie for connection by standing out - we need to be the most impressive, the smartest, the thinnest, the best mother, the hardest worker, the wisest, the funniest. We need people to know that we come from an important family or impressive part of town. We tell wild stories so people think we're adventurous/worldly/fun/whatever. We go into debt on status symbols and spend our vacations distracted by making sure people know how special we are.

We become so absorbed with promoting our special story that we don't realize that we start lying/hiding/defending in order to strengthen the narrative that we think will lead to connection.

But lying/hiding/defending is the opposite of connection.

Real connection happens when you can be your true, authentic, messy self. When you are real, then you can relate to other perspectives, and perspective-taking is infinitely more useful for connection than specialness.

And I haven't even gotten to AI yet.

Social media has already contributed to the assumption that being special means to be connected - those "likes" can be very addictive and misleading. But now we can use AI to make us smarter, more articulate, more beautiful, and more special......... and more lonely.

Pro tip - your social media friends who are overnight professional marketers, writers, and authors - just copy that content into AI and ask if this book title, or status, or promotion is AI. Ironically, the lie will not lie about itself. AI will identify itself.

But the point is - AI is helping us to isolate ourselves.

Do you know what connects us? Being vulnerable about a parenting struggle, sharing a picture of a tree that has some meaning for you, showing flexibility in trying to understand perspective that is very different from yours, admitting that world news is a roller coaster right now, telling a joke to promote laughter (instead of to convince people that you are funny), sharing a brand of tea that others might like, etc, etc, etc. Realness connecting with realness - that's where the good stuff is. That's where we can save ourselves. Being together in good and bad.

To quote Christopher Sexton about defining sexy:

"F**k nudes, show me your notes app"

I hope this is helpful.

04/06/2026

Ethan Hawke and Joe Rogan - unlikely candidates for promoting meaning over acquisition.

You can have a more meaningful life than millionaires….starting now.

03/31/2026

03/08/2026

Hey Friends!

Just popping in to say hello ☺️

I realize I’ve been quiet on here this year.

In the background I’ve been busy with a different balance of demands from other areas of my life so I haven’t advertised my services even though I’m still providing them. Not every year can be a year for growth (perpetual growth can be a problematic idea anyway).

I have exciting ideas for when things balance back in an SMR direction. I have been knee-deep in the world of psychological flexibility and want to bring this to the horse world in two ways: sports psychology and living with chronic pain (for both horse and human chronic conditions).

In the meantime, keep being the authentic, strong (stubborn?), passionate horse people that I love. I’ve been learning that these traits seem to be part of horse communities across Canada and I’m honoured to be part of it.

01/23/2026

Ain’t that the truth……

If you love, you risk loss. If you create, you risk failure. But that’s how you know you’re aligned with what matters. Pain is the shadow cast by your values.

01/01/2026

Here’s to another year. Another year of asking “what do you do when pain shows up?” Another year of noticing how fighting, flighting, distracting, medicating, rationalizing, dismissing, and avoiding pain may work in the short term, but there’s rarely much benefit in the longterm.

Another year of walking with you, with arms wide open, toward the depths in the arena of psychological pain.

And in the arena, I want nothing more than to find that healing or that balance or that forgiveness; to help you find the freedom you need to start to move towards what matters.

That’s what I did in 2025 and that’s what I intend to do in 2026.

I want nothing more than to be in the arena with you, because the only thing that I know for sure is that “love isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”.

12/24/2025

🎄 Merry Christmas from Seven Mile Ranch 🎄

May you let go of ideas of “right” and “wrong” ways to participate in the season

May you let go of a role that you feel you “need” to play for others at the expense of your experience

May you give yourself the gift of openness to all the light and dark, the good and the bad, that comes with not only the season, but everyday human existence

May you not succumb to depletion without meaning

May you be present for every moment of joy and wonder that comes and goes like clouds in the sky ♥️

12/17/2025

The struggle with panic is often worse than the panic itself. Fighting the waves makes them higher. Try letting them rise and fall while you anchor in the present — notice your breath, the feel of your feet, the sights and sounds around you. The storm will pass. You don’t need to make it go away to keep moving toward what you care about.
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Do you have a question for me? Write it in the comments and I might answer it next.

12/15/2025

This is both brutal and beautiful.

It’s the Christmas season, and everywhere I turn, we’re hurting each other more than ever. People I never thought of as dismissive are hiding in their own comfort.

Maybe the pain we see is the equivalent of a neglected dog witnessed by a young boy. Maybe it’s just too much.

But when you can, and even when it’s hard, choose connection over silence, not just for those who need you, but for you too. ♥️

New blog article is live: "Lassie, June Lockhart, and a Lesson I Learned Too Late."

You can read the full article here: https://stevenchayes.com/lassie-june-lockhart-and-a-lesson-i-learned-too-late/