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The Stress Experts, 315 River Road S, Carman, MB (2026)

05/14/2026

In the last blog, I wrote about they ways we try to use thinking to work through our stress - positive thinking, talking yourself out of your feelings, over analyzing/over understanding, reframing, self-coaching, and looping thoughts.

But not everyone tries to control stress by thinking more.

Some people try doing more. At first glance, these behaviours may not look like a stress response, but underneath them is a nervous system trying to feel safe. They are strategies we use to try to “fix” stress.

These strategies are not wrong or bad - they work! They provide short-term relief, but they just don’t address the stress at the root. In other words, the stress will keep coming back because the nervous system doesn’t feel safe enough to settle and rest.

I have broken these behaviours/strategies into 3 main categories.

See if you use any of these strategies.

Pushing is what happens when stress is met with effort. It’s trying to force yourself to function, calm down, stay productive, be perfect, or “just get over it”. The body experience of pushing often feels like tension, bracing, effort, or forcing yourself forward.

Over-functioning
Doing more, staying busy, staying productive so you don’t feel stress.
White-knuckling
Holding it together on the outside while feeling tense inside.
Ignoring body signals
Pushing past exhaustion, tension, or overwhelm.

Coping strategies are behaviours that help take the edge off. Many are genuinely supportive and regulating. But when relief is the only strategy, the underlying stress response is never resolved. The body experience of coping feels soothing, numbing, or distracting.

Soothing activities
Bubble baths, hot showers, comfort food, curling up on the couch
Distraction
Scrolling, binge-watching, staying busy to not feel
Calming tools
Breathing apps, meditation apps, music, nature

Managing is an attempt to avoid triggering stress in the first place. The experience of managing feels like controlling and organizing life around stress.

Structuring life around stress
Avoiding certain situations, people, or conversations
Constant planning and control
“If I stay organized enough, I’ll be okay.”
Lowering expectations
“This is just how I am - I have to manage it.”

Maybe you recognize yourself in one category more than another. Or maybe you move between all three depending on the situation.

If you recognize yourself in any of these strategies, that is completely okay! It is natural, normal, and expected. You aren’t wrong or broken!

Even if some of them might not seem it, these are all intelligent approaches to stress because the job of the nervous system is protection, not logic. The nervous system answers the question: “How do I keep us safe?”

And all of these approaches are attempts to answer that question - strategies for safety and protection.

Each one is the nervous system saying: “I’m trying to keep you okay.”

Pushing:
If I can override this and keep functioning, I won’t fall apart.
That’s protection through strength.

Coping:
If I can calm this down right now, I can get through the moment.
That’s protection through relief.

Managing:
If I organize my life to avoid triggers, I can stay safe long-term.
That’s protection through control.

Pushing, coping, and managing are all attempts to deal with stress after it’s already happening.

Nervous system work focuses on calming stress at the source - helping the body feel safe enough that it no longer has to stay in protection mode all the time.

If you’re tired of constantly trying to manage stress, nervous system-focused work may offer a different approach.

I offer free discovery calls to answer questions, talk through what you’re experiencing, and see whether EFT might be a good fit for you. thestressexperts.setmore.com

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

04/30/2026

From what I have seen, when people think of stress, they think of mental health. When they think of "mental" health they assume "thinking".

They follow this line of logic:

Stress → mental health → thinking → “I should be able to fix this with my mind.”

Here are some strategies we typically use to try to fix stress with our mind:

Positive thinking
“I should just focus on the good.”

Talking yourself out of feelings
“This isn’t a big deal. Other people have it worse.”

Over-analyzing / over-understanding
“If I can just figure out why I feel this way, it’ll stop.”

Reframing in your head
“I know this is irrational, so I shouldn’t feel it.”

Self-coaching
“Calm down. Breathe. Get it together.”

Looping thoughts
“Why am I still like this?”, “What’s wrong with me?”

These strategies aren’t wrong or bad, they work to a certain degree. But they just don’t get to the root of the issue - they don’t actually change the underlying stress response.

Each of these strategies are actually an attempt to work around stress, not resolve the stress response itself.

So, they work for a short time…but the stress will just keep coming back.

Can we make the stress stop?

Yes!

See, stress doesn’t live in your mind, it lives in your body, your physiology. When you experience stress, it is actually because your body, your nervous system is feeling unsafe. It detects a threat of some sort - even a perceived threat, not “real”.

This threat detection is based on past experiences and pattern recognition. If anything in the present moment is detected to be similar to a past threat that is still “alive” or has “emotional juice”, the alarm is set off, and the whole system gets ready to fight or flee - the stress response.

This stress response happens in the body first, and then (usually, but not always) the mind becomes aware of it. In other words, the stress response happens subconsciously.

How can we make the stress stop?

We simply need to give the nervous system the message that the threat is actually over. We need to give it the message that the event is truly in the past.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) allows us to do that!

Your nervous system doesn’t speak English, or French. It speaks in sensations, pressure, touch, movement.

When we tap on specific points on our body while focusing our attention on what stresses us, the body gets the message: It is safe. There is no threat. Stand down.

This way, the “emotional juice” is discharged, the threat is no longer “alive” and the body settles. The stress response is resolved.

This literally rewires the nervous system!

That stimulus - the tone of their voice, the smell, the look on someone’s face, that tightness in your chest - is now neutral and not flagged as a threat. So, the next time you encounter the stimulus, the alarm doesn’t ring and the body doesn’t get ready to fight or flee.

No stress to “fix”.

What if you didn’t have to keep managing and “fixing” stress?

What if your stress response could actually resolve, instead of it being something you have to stay on top of?

If this resonates with you, you’re welcome to book a free 30 minute discovery call. thestressexperts.setmore.com

It’s a no-pressure conversation to explore what’s going on in your system and what’s possible.

PS. EFT has been getting more and more attention. Hugh Jackman recently shared his experience with Tapping and why he endorses Nic Ortner’s “Rewired”. You can watch it here. https://www.instagram.com/reels/DXrnf3nDqMC/

Here's to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

04/16/2026

Many of my clients have looping thoughts.
Thoughts that are on repeat.
They aren’t pleasant to have.

The thoughts might be about them (“I’m such a loser”),
They might be about the past (“I shouldn’t have done that”),
or about the future (“What will they think of me?”).

Before coming to see me, they have tried to change their thoughts, get rid of them, or ignore them.

But they keep coming back.

And sometimes they come back even louder, stronger!

There is a scientific reason for this…and it has nothing to do with “being weak” or “not trying hard enough”.

And, more importantly, there is a scientific way to break the loop and finally get relief.

In this short video, Nick Ortner explains:
-why thoughts get stuck on repeat
-what happens in your brain and body when you try to fight them
-how tapping helps release them
-and that surprising moment when the thought just...lets go

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own head, this will make a lot of sense.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=0pM_JAknz8U

The next time you have a looping thought, try the tapping for yourself. Here’s a free guide for that. https://thestressexperts.com/landing/quickstart-guide-download

And if at some point you’d like support working with this more directly, you’re always welcome to reach out.

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts
thestressexperts.com

04/02/2026

I recently had a conversation with a man. He was frustrated as he explained to me the issues he was having in a relationship with another person.

“People don’t change,” was his conclusion.

This line stuck with me. It wasn’t the first time I had heard the phrase, but it was the first time I had paused to think about the truth of it.

Was he right?
Do people change?

I believe that people can change. They have the capability of changing, yes. They can adapt and grow.

Do they change? That’s a different question.

Occasionally, life can throw something at you - like a great loss - that changes you, whether you wanted to change or not! This change can be seen as “passive”.

But, if you are in a state - emotional, physical, mental, spiritual - that isn’t “desirable”, sitting around waiting for life to change you into a happier, calmer version of you is not a reliable strategy for change.

Meaningful change requires active participation. If requires awareness - recognizing patterns of thought, emotions, behaviours and motivations; dedication - a commitment and focus towards a goal; and perseverance - sustained effort.

And not everyone is willing or ready to put in that effort and work. If they don’t put it in, they don’t change.

So, are these people who don’t change just lazy? Weak?

Why don’t they put it in the effort?

I believe there are different reasons as to why people don’t put in the effort and work to change, that go beyond “laziness”.

Here are a few of those reasons:

1- People can have an unrealistic goal of “total, eternal, instant transformation,” as fellow EFT practitioner, Gene Monterastelli says. Anything less than that is not acceptable and not worth it, leaving us stuck where we are and not making any progress in changing. “If I can’t have it all 110% better, now, and forever, there’s no point.”

2- Monterastelli also talks about the acronym SAWD. If people do not feel Safe or Allowed to make the change, or they don’t feel Worthy or Deserving of the change, then they won’t take action or put in the effort to make the change.

3- The fear of failing. If they have tried to make the change and failed at it before, there might be resistance to trying to make the change again. The pain of failure is not easily forgotten. We are biologically wired to avoid pain.

4- The fear of success. If people were to be successful at making meaningful change, there may be undesirable consequences that may not be immediately obvious. “If I stop smoking, when will I get my “me” time?” “If I no longer struggle in my relationship with my husband, what will I talk to my girlfriends about?” “If I am happy, people might judge me.”

So, if you find yourself thinking, “people don’t change” - in reference to others or to yourself, just know that it is most likely not because of laziness or weakness, but because of something deeper.

There is some reason(s) that the change doesn’t feel “safe” to the nervous system, in the body.

And those deeper reasons for not changing can be addressed and released, so you can transform in ways that feel most aligned with your authentic self.

People can change and do change…with the right tools so they feel safe enough to make and sustain the change.

If something in this resonated with you, it might be a sign you’re ready for a different approach.

You don’t have to keep pushing, forcing, or wondering why change isn’t happening.

Book a free 30 minute discovery call and let’s explore what’s underneath the resistance so change can finally start to stick. https://thestressexperts.setmore.com

Here's to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

03/19/2026

I recently had the pleasure of presenting to a group of CEOs of mid-sized companies in the area. We talked about stress and the nervous system, emotions and tools to regulate stress. One of the participants said, “I can’t be content because nothing would get done.” Another one said, “If I’m not constantly on, I’m bored."

Through our discussions, I realized that they, like many people from all walks of life, had come to mistakenly believe that they only have 2 options:

1- be on = productive, achieving, performing, forcing, moving, getting things done, pressured
2- be off = unproductive, slow, lazy, bored, ineffective, useless

Many people mistakenly believe that we are like a light switch, either on or off.

And of course, if these are our only options, you are most likely going to choose “on”!

“On” is socially acceptable. “On” is applauded, praised. “On” is the only way to keep going.

The problem is, “on” is also not sustainable. Being “on” is energy depleting. And you only have so much energy. Once that energy is spent, the system will go into energy conservation mode and flip to “off”. This is experienced as fatigue, lack of motivation, withdrawal, slower thinking, and emotional flatness. This is a biological protective response.

But “off”…that’s not acceptable. “Off” is unthinkable.

So we try to avoid “off” at all costs. We push harder. We force ourselves more. We shame and criticize our own lack of motivation in hopes it motivates us to keep going, to stay “on”.

However, “off” is where they say rest and renewal happen…but “off” is not really an appealing option.

What are we to do? We only have 2 options!

What if I told you that there are actually 4 options? What if I told you that feeling renewed doesn’t have to come at the expense of effectiveness? What if I told you that there are emotional states that renew your energy AND improve your performance?

Here are your 4 options:

1- High-energy depletion : pressure, urgency, anxiety
2- Low-energy depletion : withdrawal, shutdown, exhaustion
3- Low-energy renewal : ease, calm, restoration
4- High-energy renewal : engagement, passion, purpose

Imagine feeling active and centred at the same time. Energized and clear-headed. Calm yet alert. This happens when you are in the state of high-energy renewal.

A common misconception is that all stress regulation strategies are about slowing down, taking bubble baths and laying on the couch.

This isn’t true!

There are ways to regulate stress and still be productive, high-performing, and engaged - in the boardroom, on the farm, and with the kids.

But most people have never been shown how to access those states intentionally.

If this resonates, you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

I offer a free discovery call where we can look at where you’re currently operating and what it would take to feel both effective and renewed.

You can book a time here. https://thestressexperts.setmore.com

Here's to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

03/05/2026

While preparing for the Wellness Expo I exhibited and spoke at in February 2026, I found more clarity in what I do, what I offer, and how I help people.

Because of this newfound clarity, I am making some subtle but significant changes in my business. One change that I want to share with you is the way I sign off on these blogs. I used to say, “Here’s to conquering stress.” And I’m not anymore. Here’s why.

In everything I do, it has always been my intention to get to and address the root of stress - not cover it up or ignore it. This is why I had chosen to use the word “conquer” - defined as “to overcome, to take control of”.

But what I wasn’t recognizing was the felt sense of the word “conquer”. It implies “battle”, “fight”.

So when someone reads “conquer stress”, a part of them will probably interpret that as “try harder”, “dominate it”, “eliminate it”.

And it is exactly this type of energy that perpetuates stress!

Without realizing it, I have been quietly reinforcing the mistaken idea that in order to ease stress, you have to defeat it, overpower it, win against it, or push through it.

And that is NOT true!

These methods don’t actually work. They make the stress worse. This idea is not something I want to reinforce - at all.

You cannot force yourself into ease.

The most effective way to ease stress is to calm it at the source - which is the nervous system, the body.

I help people stop fighting their nervous system. I help them stop shaming the stress response and work with their body. I help them feel safe, not forced.

Only then, when the body feels safe, can the body relax. And when the body relaxes, the mind and emotions can ease, too.

That is how stress is eased, by flipping the script, not by adding more of the same.

This is why I have changed the sign off on these blogs.

I now end with, “Here’s to calming stress at the source” to highlight my clearer intention and to serve you better.

If you’re realizing that fighting stress hasn’t worked for you either, and you’re curious what it would look like to calm it at the source, I’d love to connect.

You can book a free 30-minute discovery call. Let’s explore whether this approach feels like the right fit for you. https://thestressexperts.setmore.com

Here’s to calming stress at the source.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

02/07/2026

If you’ve tried all the stress “strategies” and still feel tense, wired, or exhausted, this might be the missing piece.

At the Winnipeg Wellness Expo 2026, I’ll be speaking about how stress actually works in the body — and why so many well-intentioned tools fall short. This presentation is for people who are tired of holding it together and want to understand how to help their body calm down from the inside, not just cope on the outside.

This isn’t about pushing through, positive thinking, or fixing yourself. It’s about learning how to work 'with' your body so you can exhale, feel lighter, sleep better, and stop judging yourself for stress responses that were never a personal failure.

Hearing this live matters. When people experience this work in person, something clicks — not just intellectually, but physically. There’s often a sense of relief, permission, and “oh… that makes sense now.”

The presentation is part of the Winnipeg Wellness Expo 2026:
RBC Convention Centre, Winnipeg
Sat Feb 14 10:00am-6:00pm
Sun Feb 15 10:00am-5:00pm

You can also find me at Booth 707 as The Stress Experts, where you can experience simple stress-regulation practices and ask questions one-on-one.

Oh… by the way — tickets to the show are normally $12 at the door or online, but for the next few days you can access complimentary passes, courtesy of The Stress Experts, and come as my guest.
👉 Go to: https://www.universe.com/ww26
👉 Enter promo code: WW26707

I’d love to see you there and connect in person.

Health and Wellness Expos of Canada

02/05/2026

I have been doing 20-30 minutes of yoga almost every morning for over a year now. (I think I have finally made it a habit. Wahoo! But the point is…) At the end of most sessions, we end in Savasana, or Co**se Pose, in which you lay on your back, flat on the floor and rest, being present to and releasing physical, mental, and emotional tension.

This seems easy enough. Lay there. Do nothing.

But it’s not always easy.

Doing “nothing” can be the hardest thing to do.

Doing “nothing” requires stillness, quietness, and presence, and for most of us in this modernized world, that is not something we typically practice.

Usually our “doing nothing” involves sitting on the couch watching tv, the news, Netflix or whatever streaming service you choose, or scrolling on your phone - which none are actually doing nothing - these are mindless tasks to stay busy.

Now, it’s possible you are having some ‘but’ thoughts (with one ’t’) about this like, “But doing nothing is lazy”, “But I don’t have enough time to do nothing”, “But I need to be useful”.

When we don’t give our self some time to do nothing, it exhausts our nervous system, halts creativity, and lessens productivity.

We have trained our nervous system to always go, “be on”, do something. We operate under the false assumption that “doing”, pushing, forcing is best for us. But it is not correct. Constantly operating this way is not healthy.

But it does feel normal, comfortable, and familiar. Anytime we do something that is not normal, comfortable and familiar - such as be still - it might feel foreign and wrong, scary even.

Being still and quiet can be really uncomfortable. It can make you feel anxious, and get you in touch with feelings that you don’t want to feel, such as grief, loneliness, and “not enough”. This is often why we stay busy - to avoid these uncomfortable feelings, even though we might not realize that’s what we are doing.

Coincidently, as I am writing this article, I received an email on this very topic from my mentor, Carol Look. She calls this stillness “white space” - time when you’re not multitasking, fussing, or worrying.

Why would you want more stillness or “white space” in your life?

It allows you to calm your nervous system, access your creativity and intuition, find solutions to your challenges, connect to your deeper truths, align with your purpose, hear your callings.

Many good reasons to add more of it in your life.

So, why don’t you add more stillness or “white space” into your life?

Because of your emotional blocks - your “yes, buts”. When you can reduce these emotional blocks, it is easier to add more stillness/white space into your life and get the benefits of doing so.

In her email, Carol Look shared a tapping script to reduce these emotional blocks. I am sharing it with you here. (If you have never tried tapping before, check out my video about what it is and how to do it, here. https://youtu.be/qTL3fRK1hLU?si=0feAuEhPeuopG8qx )

First, measure how uncomfortable you feel about this suggestion to increase your white space during your day on the 0-10 point scale.

Start Tapping:

Side of Hand: Even though I’ve been avoiding creating more white space for myself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I’m afraid of too much white space, I accept who I am and how I feel about it.

Eyebrow: I never give myself enough quiet time.
Side of Eye: I avoid creating white space for myself.
Under Eye: Maybe I’m afraid of it.
Under Nose: I feel the need to be useful and productive.
Chin: I don’t want strong feelings to surface.
Collarbone: I’m afraid of stillness.
Under Arm: I don’t want to be too quiet.
Head: It makes me think I’m not being productive enough.

Take a deep breath, and measure your discomfort about creating more white space again on the 0-10 point scale.

Continue Tapping:

Side of Hand: Even though I’m still afraid of being quiet and still, I accept who I am and why I’m afraid. Even though I’m worried that deep emotions might surface, I accept who I am and how I feel anyway.
Eyebrow: I’m still afraid of what might surface.
Side of Eye: It’s easier for me to be busy.
Under Eye: I feel anxious about being still.
Under Nose: I want to make sure I’m productive.
Chin: I get anxious with quiet time.
Collarbone: I’m afraid I will feel more anxious.
Under Arm: I’m still worried about creating more of it.
Head: I want to want more white space in my day.

Take another deep breath, and now move to some Gratitude Tapping.

Eyebrow: I appreciate the white space I already allow in my life.
Side of Eye: Thank you, Universe, for more peace and quiet.
Under Eye: I appreciate what happens when I’m still.
Under Nose: I love being still and quiet.
Chin: I’m grateful for so much quiet time.
Collarbone: I deserve more quiet time.
Under Arm: I am grateful for what it offers me.
Head: My nervous system appreciates the white space.

Take a final deep breath.

If stillness feels nourishing and unsettling, that’s often a sign there’s something worth exploring beneath the surface.

If you’d like help working through the emotional blocks that make rest, quiet, or white space feel unsafe, I invite you to book a free 30-minute discovery call. We’ll talk about what’s showing up for you and whether EFT could support your nervous system in finding more ease. Book here, thestressexperts.setmore.com

Here’s to conquering stress.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts
thestressexperts.com

01/22/2026

Have you ever had a good day? What made it good?
Have you ever had a bad day? What made it bad?

If, at the end of your day, a friend or a family member were to ask you, “How was your day?”, how do you know what to answer? What do you base your response on? How do you judge whether your day was good or bad?

If you are like most people, you evaluate your day based on whether or not things went the way you wanted them to. If things go according to plan, then the day is good. If things do not go according to plan, then the day is bad.

A “good day” gives most people a sense of inner peace. A “bad day” gives a lack of inner peace - an inner turmoil, tension, anxiety.

I heard a saying recently: “If your peace depends on everything going right, that’s not peace, that’s control.”

And this is a fragile, disempowering, and exhausting way to live your days!

Fragile because then the status of your day can change in an instant and your inner peace is gone.

Disempowering because then your peace is not within your self-agency - it’s more of a crapshoot.

Exhausting because you actually can’t control external circumstances, no matter how hard you try.

True peace is not the absence of problems. It comes from acceptance of uncertainties and going with the flow of life. It's about shifting focus from controlling the uncontrollable to managing your own reactions and finding steadiness even in chaos.

True peace is about understanding that you can’t control everything but you can control how you respond to it.

True peace is about resilience.

Stable, empowering, energizing.

Imagine if we judged how well our day went based on our response to events that day. Having “good days” then would be our choice, not luck. You could boost the number of good days you have. Bad days might still happen - you might not respond to events in the way you would like, such as impatience, anger, anxiety - and that’s ok! But you could have more good days than bad.

Imagine what would be different if the next time you were asked, “How was your day?”, you were able to respond “I chose to make it good.”

If you’re ready to build the skills that make that possible, I invite you to book a free 30-minute discovery call and see what support could look like. https://thestressexperts.setmore.com

Here’s to conquering stress.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

01/08/2026

“Why is self-compassion so hard? Why is it easier to be compassionate towards others but compassion towards myself feels so unnatural.”

That’s because in some ways, it is unnatural…but self-compassion is very beneficial for you so it’s worth learning how to cultivate more of it.

Kristen Neff, a leading expert on self-compassion, explains why self-compassion is difficult. Here’s what she says:

When we perceive a threat, even an emotional one like failure or rejection, our sympathetic nervous system activates the classic fight, flight, or freeze response. Our cortisol levels increase. Our body reacts as if we’re in danger, even though the “enemy” might be our own imperfect humanity.

So we instinctually fight ourselves with harsh criticism, hoping it will somehow help us be alert and make the changes needed to avoid harm.

We flee into shame, assuming it will shield us from the judgment of others.

We freeze and ruminate, believing that if we think about the problem long enough, we'll solve it.

This is why attacking ourselves can feel so automatic: on a physiological level, our bodies are trying to protect us and keep us safe — just not in a very helpful way.

When others make a mistake or confront problems, however, we aren't so personally threatened. This means that a different safety mechanism can kick in - the care system.

Evolution wired us to help family and in-group members through the tend and befriend response, because the survival of close others helps us (and our genes) to survive. When we feel care and connection, our parasympathetic nervous system is activated and our bodies start to calm down.

This is where self-compassion becomes powerful. We can learn to respond to ourselves with care rather than threat, even if it's not instinctual.

Research shows that when we befriend ourselves with self-compassion, our cortisol levels decrease and our heart-rate variability and coherence increases, markers of calm and emotional resilience.

Studies also show that an effective way to “hack” into this soothing state is by using practices that signal safety to the body such as supportive touch. Placing a hand over your heart, holding your own hand, or gently cupping your face instinctually activates pathways associated with the care system.

Even if your mind can't go there, your body can.

The more we practice these small moments of physical safety, the easier it becomes for the body to settle, soften, and shift out of threat mode.

One study out of UC Berkeley found that just 20 seconds a day of supportive touch, done every day for a month, is enough to significantly increase the habit of self-compassion.

Our biology may default to self-criticism under stress, but we can train the body and mind to meet difficulty with care.

These simple, tiny acts can shift your entire nervous system.

And with practice, they can change your entire life.

Watch Kristen Neff's 3-minute video here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OxcshI8X3Q

(Me again...)

Tapping/EFT is a proven way to calm the nervous system and rewire the brain by signalling safety to the body. It is an effective way to make self-compassion feel more natural. Get started today with your free 30-minute discovery call, here. (In-person or virtual.) https://thestressexperts.setmore.com

Here’s to conquering stress.

With heart,

Louise

The Stress Experts

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