Terry Warburton Counselling and Parent Consulting

07/19/2024

05/12/2024

The Secrets of Motherhood: What I’ve Learning as a Parent Counsellor Motherhood can feel like you are juggling chainsaws while riding a unicycle – challenging, ridiculous, and messy. It’s also complex and emotionally murky as love, confusion, and worry emerge from the depths. One thing is for ...

04/14/2024

A note from Gordon about our upcoming conference:

"I've just put the finishing touches on my keynote for our upcoming conference on April 20th and am very much looking forward to sharing it with you. What's happening to our kids is alarming and should concern us all. In terms of their mental health, all indications are that it is steadily declining. A deeper dive into this arena reveals that our care is not getting through, they are losing their feelings, they are losing their empathy, and they are losing their playfulness. In putting the puzzle pieces together, there is absolutely no question whatsoever that something is awry in the underlying attachment dynamics. Without a deeper understanding of the problem however, we continue to engage in a futile battle against symptoms, unwittingly exacerbating the underlying roots of their troubles.

In my keynote, I will be talking about two camouflaged conditions and three still unrecognized disorders of attachment that are plaguing today's children, despite our current focus on their well-being and our well-meaning efforts to support it. One of these attachment disorders continues to be peer orientation, even more prevalent and hidden today than when I first introduced this attachment problem in my book twenty years ago. Current indications suggest that close to 70% of our school-aged children are now affected.

Unless we get to the underlying roots of our children's troubles, the decline in their well-being will not be reversed. The current approaches of diagnosing disorders, teaching empathy, promoting self-care, and fostering mental health literacy, are destined to fail, as they not only neglect to address the roots but, in giving the illusion of doing something about the problems, distract from what truly needs to be done. That is why we need to make sense of what is happening to our kids."

This conference is the annual fundraiser for the Neufeld Institute. We are a non-profit, registered charitable organization whose mission is to use developmental science to make sense of children to the adults responsible for them. Thank you for your support! Visit our website (https://neufeldinstitute.org/conference-2024/) for complete details, and both individual and group registration options.

04/04/2024

03/25/2024

I've long believed that one of the things that made parenting easier and more effective for me personally is that I enjoy it. And I'm able to enjoy it more when I delight in my children and concentrate on soaking in their goodness. I know that's easy when things are smooth and *much* more difficult when there are challenges.

You've probably heard the saying that love is about feelings and choices. Sometimes, I am simply overwhelmed with those gushy, lovesick feels about my kids (you know that feeling when you want to eat them?!?). But I also have time when those feelings are harder to access. That's where these choices come in!

🌈 I choose to use development as a lens to understand their behavior. I choose to remember they are doing their best at any given moment.
🌈 I choose to lead with respect and admiration for who they uniquely are and what that impacts about their needs (knowing that it's an ongoing process).
🌈 I choose to recognize their inherent goodness and work to meet them where they are. I choose to listen well as often as possible (and get my own listening too!).
🌈 I choose to take an interest in their lives and initiate meaningful and fun interactions. I choose to partner with rather than power over, knowing that they deserve to participate in decisions and resolutions.
🌈 I choose to meet their needs with generosity because they are learning and need support to develop their own interests, skills, values, and identities.
🌈 I choose (again and again) to resist the temptation to use my power to force compliance because I knew people do well when they can and anyone who can't meet expectations needs assistance to do so.
🌈 I choose to acknowledge bids for connection, take accountability, and prioritize repair after ruptures. I know I set the tone.

What do you choose?

02/25/2024

Wild Peace for Parents ❤