Alexander & Houle Funeral Home

04/09/2026

Grief in Spring
Navigating Renewal While Honouring Your Loss
Published: April 7, 2026

Spring is a season of renewal. But for those who are grieving, the arrival of spring can bring a difficult mix of emotions.

An image of bluestone perennials
Spring is a season of renewal. The earth starts to soften, flowers begin to bloom, and a gentle warmth begins to melt away the chill of winter. The world stirs with life, and people seem to carry a sense of celebration and possibility for the return of Spring.

But for those who are grieving, the arrival of spring can bring a difficult mix of emotions. The changing season, with its symbols of life and rebirth, can feel both comforting and deeply painful. The return of color to nature, the warmth in the air, and the lengthening days might offer a sense of hope. But, at the same time, they can serve as harsh reminders of the passage of time, moving us further away from a past we cherish and the loved ones we long for and miss.

While nature moves forward in its cycles, grief doesn’t always follow the same rhythm. You may still feel immersed in your own personal winter, even as the world around you awakens. The contrast can bring unexpected emotions—perhaps even guilt. The joy and lightness of Spring might feel in conflict with your sorrow and have you wondering if embracing small moments of happiness means leaving your loved one behind.

But grief and joy are not opposites, as they live together in love and remembering. And that guilt that sometimes arises in grief may eventually change and hopefully soften over time – however long that time may take.

How do we navigate grief in a season that focuses on renewal? If this season is challenging for you, here are some gentle ways to care for yourself while navigating grief in spring:

1. Take a Walk
Movement, even something as simple as a walk, can help ease the weight of grief. Walking offers both physical and emotional benefits—reducing stress, lifting mood, and offering a sense of connection to the world around you. This isn’t about joy in spring’s beauty, just a chance to move and change the scenery.

2. Focus on Your Breath
Mindful breathing is a simple yet powerful tool for grounding yourself in the present. Breathing deeply through the nose releases nitric oxide, a molecule that supports circulation, oxygen delivery, and overall well-being. In moments when grief feels overwhelming, returning to the rhythm of your breath can offer a sense of steadiness and calm.

3. Make Space for Grief
When the world is in it’s blooming season, it can feel like pressure to “focus on the positive” or “embrace gratitude.” But gratitude is not a cure for grief—it is a companion to it. You can honor your sorrow while also holding space for small moments of joy and hope.

4. Consider Gentle Spring Cleaning
If you feel ready, spring can be a good time to sort through belongings connected to your loved one. This process is deeply personal—there is no rush, and there is no “right” way to do it. If it feels overwhelming, invite a friend or family member to be with you. Keep the items that bring

comfort and pack up what you’re not sure about and store it away for now. Revisiting the items you weren’t sure about at a later time may be a kind and gentle way to manage this task.

5. Set an Intention for the Season
This doesn’t have to be a grand resolution. A simple intention—whether it’s allowing more rest, creating space for creativity, or reconnecting with something meaningful—can be a grounding practice as you move through the months ahead.

As you move through this season, remember that renewal doesn’t mean forgetting. The return of warmth and light doesn’t erase your loss, nor does embracing moments of peace or joy betray your grief. You are allowed to feel both.

Wherever this season finds you, may you offer yourself the same kindness and patience that Spring brings to the world. Above all, be gentle with yourself and however Spring unfolds for you, know that you are not alone.

04/03/2026

03/26/2026

One of the hardest parts of grief
is how invisible it can be.
From the outside,
it might look like you’re doing okay.
You got out of bed.
You answered a few messages.
You showed up where you had to.
But what people don’t see
is how much effort that took.
They don’t see the conversations
you’re having in your own head…
the memories that show up uninvited…
the moments when your chest tightens
and you don’t even know why.
They don’t see how many times a day
you think about the person you lost.
Or how often you wish
you could just hear their voice
one more time.
Grief doesn’t always look like tears.
Sometimes it looks like functioning.
Sometimes it looks like
being strong for everyone else.
And sometimes…
it looks like someone carrying
more than anyone realizes.
If you know this feeling,
you’re not alone.
And if someone comes to mind while reading this…
maybe share it for them.
- Gary Sturgis

Send a message to learn more

03/26/2026

Each donation towards the Walk for Alzheimer's helps fund crucial programs and services for people with dementia, their caregivers, and their families.

03/26/2026

Join us for the 10th annual Hike for Hospice CK as we hike to raise essential funds in support of Hospice residents and Hospice supportive care families in Chatham-Kent. It's simple, sign-up, collect pledges, and hike Mud Creek Trail any time between April 27 and May 2, or join us in-person on Sunda...

03/25/2026

Grieving
~Canadian Mental Health Association-Lambton-Kent

Loss is one of life’s most stressful events. It takes time to heal, and everyone responds differently. We may need help to cope with the changes in our lives. Grief is part of being human, but that doesn’t mean we have to go through the journey alone.

What is grief?
Grief (also called bereavement) is the experience of loss. Many people associate grief with the death of an important person or pet. However, people experience grief after any important loss that affects their life, such as the loss of a job or relationship. Grief after diagnosis of an illness or other health problem is also common.

People experience grief in many different ways and experience many different thoughts or feelings during the journey. People may feel shocked, sad, angry, scared, or anxious. Some feel numb or have a hard time feeling emotions at all. At times, many people even feel relief or peace after a loss.

Grief is complicated. There is no one way to experience grief. Feelings, thoughts, reactions, and challenges related to grief are very personal. Some people have thoughts or feelings that seem at odds with each other. For example, someone may feel very depressed about their loss but accept the loss at the same time. Many people find that the intensity of their grief changes a lot over time. Holidays can often bring up strong feelings, for example. People work through grief in their own time and on their own path.

What can I do about it?
People express or talk about grief in different ways, but we all feel grief after a loss. In most cases, people navigate through grief with help from loved ones and other supporters and, in time, go back to their daily life.

Some people need extra help from a mental health professional. Grief can be more complicated when the loss is sudden or unexpected, frightening, the result of an accident or disaster, or the result of a crime. Other factors also play a role. A person’s experience of mental illness, lack of personal and social supports, and difficult personal relationships can also affect the impact of grief. A type of counselling called grief counselling supports people through difficulties around grief.

Here are some tips to help you through your journey:

Connect with caring and supportive people. This might include loved ones, neighbours, and co-workers. It could also include a bereavement support group or community organization.
Give yourself enough time. Everyone reacts differently to a loss and there is no normal grieving period.
Let yourself feel sadness, anger, or whatever you need to feel. Find healthy ways to share your feelings and express yourself, such as talking with friends or writing in a journal.
Recognize that your life has changed. You may feel less engaged with work or relationships for some time. This is a natural part of loss and grief.
Reach out for help. Loved ones may want to give you privacy and may not feel comfortable asking you how you’re doing, so don’t be afraid to ask for their support.
Holidays and other important days can be very hard. It may be helpful to plan ahead and think about new traditions or celebrations that support healing.
Take care of your physical health. Be aware of any physical signs of stress or illness, and speak with your doctor if you feel that your grief is affecting your health.
Offer support to other loved ones who are grieving. Reaching out to others may be helpful in your own journey.
Be honest with young people about what has happened and about how you feel, and encourage them to share their feelings, too.
Work through difficult feelings like bitterness and blame. These feelings can make it harder to move forward in your life.
Make a new beginning. As the feelings of grief become less intense, return to interests and activities you may have dropped and think about trying something new.
Think about waiting before making major life decisions. You may feel differently as your feelings of grief lose their intensity, and the changes may add to the stress you’re already experiencing.
How can I help a loved one?
Many people feel like they don’t know what to do or say when a loved one if experiencing loss. If the loss also affected you, you may be working through your own experiences of grief. One of the most important things you can do is to simply be there for your loved one. Grief can feel overwhelming, but support and understanding can make a huge difference.

Here are some tips for supporting a loved one:

Understand that a loved one needs to follow their own journey in their own way and express their feelings in their own way.
Ask your loved one what they need, and regularly remind them that you’re there for support if they aren’t ready to talk with others yet. Remember to offer practical help, too.
Talk about the loss. It’s common to avoid the topic and focus on a loved one’s feelings instead, but many people find sharing thoughts, memories, and stories helpful or comforting.
Remember that grief may be bigger than the loss. For example, someone who loses a partner may also experience a lot of fear or stress around financial security and other important matters.
Include your loved one in social activities. Even if they often decline, it’s important to show that they are still an important member of your community.
Help your loved one connect with support services if they experience a lot of difficulties.
Take care of your own well-being and seek extra help for yourself if you need it.
Do you need more help?
Contact a community organization like the Canadian Mental Health Association to learn more about support and resources in your area.

Founded in 1918, The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) is a national charity that helps maintain and improve mental health for all Canadians. As the nation-wide leader and champion for mental health, CMHA helps people access the community resources they need to build resilience and support recovery from mental illness.

03/21/2026

A local charity in our community....

There are many wonderful charities in our community needing our support. But often more importantly, knowing what they do to help our community is not known. Here an example of just one of many...

Chatham Kent Animal Rescue, (aka CK Animal Rescue), Charitable No. 852128701 RR0001, was formed in October 2010. Our office is located in Chatham, Ontario and serves several areas in southern Ontario, Canada.

03/17/2026

Days to weeks and weeks to months
Fighting emotion on all fronts
Difficult to maintain and impossible to control
Trying not to fall down the depressive sinkhole.

Who wants to be around such an emotional mess
Perceived as selfish, angry and couldn't care less
Not able to open up and communicate her loss
A tight rope I have not yet figured out how to cross.

Annoyed one minute and happy the next
Cancelling plans, friends awaiting the text
Why cant things be stable like before
Now feeling broken and shattered to the core.

Watching the sunset brings me closer to you
Wishing you were by my side, not feeling lonely and blue
All of this emotion in time I will release
As I come to terms with your loss, and find my inner peace.

Even when you're gone you light up my way
There's nothing you couldn't do, your strength carries me each day
All of this emotion and anger and stress
Is bringing me towards answers - my purpose, my heart's relentless quest.

Writer: Elaine Byrne, Grieving Healing

Artist: Unknown (https://pikbest.com/photo/a-painting-of-father-and-daughter-running-on-beach-at-sunset_10414150.html)

🫶🫶🫶

03/17/2026

On the Journey to Healing: Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.



“Mourning never really ends. Only as time goes on, it erupts less frequently.”

How do you ever find your way out of the wilderness of your grief? A number of psychological models describing grief refer to “resolution,” “recovery,” “reestablishment,” or “reorganization” as being the destination of your grief journey.

As a bereavement caregiver, you may even have been taught that the grief journey’s end comes when the mourner resolves, or recovers from, his or her grief.

But you may also be coming to understand one of the fundamental truths of grief: Grief never truly ends. People do not “get over” grief. My personal and professional experience tells me that a total return to “normalcy” after the death of someone loved is not possible; we are all forever changed by the experience of grief.

Reconciliation is a term I find more appropriate for what occurs as you work to integrate the new reality of moving forward in life without the physical presence of the person who died. With reconciliation comes a renewed sense of energy and confidence, an ability to fully acknowledge the reality of the death and a capacity to become re-involved in the activities of living. There is also an acknowledgment that pain and grief are difficult, yet necessary, parts of life.

As the experience of reconciliation unfolds, you will recognize that life is and will continue to be different without the presence of the person who died. Changing the relationship with the person who died from one of presence to one of memory and redirecting one’s energy and initiative toward the future often takes longer—and involves more hard work—than most people are aware. We, as human beings, never resolve our grief, but instead become reconciled to it.

We come to reconciliation in our grief journeys when the full reality of the death becomes a part of us. Beyond an intellectual working through of the death, there is also an emotional and spiritual working through. What had been understood at the “head” level is now understood at the “heart” level.

Keep in mind that reconciliation doesn’t just happen. You can help others reach it through encouraging their deliberate mourning. They reconcile their grief by…

talking it out.
writing it out.
crying it out.
thinking it out.
playing it out.
painting (or sculpting, etc.) it out.
dancing it out
etcetera!
To experience reconciliation requires that you descend, not transcend. You don’t get to go around or above your grief. You must go through it. And while you are going through it, you must express it you are to reconcile yourself to it.

You will fine that as you achieve reconciliation, the sharp, ever-present pain of grief will give rise to a renewed sense of meaning and purpose. Your feeling of loss will not completely disappear, yet they will soften, and the intense pangs of grief will become less frequent. Hope for a continued life will emerge as you are able to make commitments to the future, realizing that the person you have given love to and received love from will never be forgotten. The unfolding of this journey is not intended to create a return to an “old normal” but the discovery of a “new normal.”

To help explore where you are in your movement toward reconciliation, the following signs that suggest healing may be helpful. You don’t have to see all of these signs for healing to be taking place. Again, remember that reconciliation is an ongoing process. If you are early in the work of mourning, you may not see any signs of reconciliation. But this list will give you a way to monitor movement toward healing.



Signs of reconciliation
As mourners embrace their grief and do the work of mourning, they can and will be able to demonstrate the majority of the following:

A recognition of the reality and finality of the death.
A return to stable eating and sleeping patterns.
A renewed sense of release from the person who has died. They will have thoughts about the person, but they will not be preoccupied by these thoughts.
The capacity to enjoy experiences in life that are normally enjoyable.
The establishment of new and healthy relationships.
The capacity to live a full life without feelings of guilt or lack of self-respect.
The drive to organize and plan one’s life toward the future.
The serenity to become comfortable with the way things are rather than attempting to make things as they were.
The versatility to welcome more change in life.
The awareness that they have allowed themselves to fully grieve, and they have survived.
The awareness that nobody “gets over” grief; instead, they have a new reality, meaning and purpose in their lives.
The acquaintance of new parts of themselves that they have discovered in their grief journeys.
The adjustment to new role changes that have resulted from the loss of the relationship.
The acknowledgment that the pain of loss in an inherent part of life resulting from the ability to give and receive love.
Reconciliation emerges much in the way grass grows. Usually we don’t check our lawns daily to see if the grass is growing, but it does grow and soon we come to realize it’s time to mow the grass again. Likewise, we don’t look at ourselves each day as mourners to see how we are healing. Yet we do come to realize, over the course of months and years, that we have come a long way. We have taken some important steps toward reconciliation.

Usually there is not one great moment of “arrival,” but subtle changes and small advancements. It’s helpful to have gratitude for even very small advancements, If you are beginning to taste your food again, be thankful. If you mustered the energy to meet your friend for lunch, be grateful. If you finally got a good night’s sleep, rejoice.

One of my greatest teachers, C. S. Lewis, wrote in A Grief Observed about his grief symptoms as they eased in his journey to reconciliation: “There was no sudden, striking, and emotional transition. Like the warming of a room or the coming of daylight, when you first notice them they have already been going on for some time.”

Of course, you will take some steps backward from time to time, but that is to be expected. Keep believing in yourself. Set your intention to reconcile your grief and have hope that you can and will come to live and love gain.

03/17/2026

Grief
What is Grief?
The word “grief” is the simple shorthand we use for what is actually a highly complex mixture of thoughts and feelings. Grief is everything we think and feel inside after someone we love dies or leaves or something we are attached to goes away. In other words, grief is the instinctive human response to loss.

Grief is natural and necessary. Our culture tends to deny, diminish, and judge the pain of grief, but the truth is that grief is not something to be afraid of, hide from, or think of as “bad” or “weak.” It is not an illness or mental-health problem. If you are grieving, rest assured that what you are experiencing is not only normal, it is the very thing that will help you heal.

Grief: The Counterpart to Love
Grief is not something we choose or don’t choose. Rather, it is in our wiring. It is the normal and necessary journey we embark on after something we have valued no longer exists.

If someone we love dies, we grieve.
If a beloved pet dies, we grieve.
If someone we love leaves us, we grieve.
If something we value is taken away from us, we grieve.
If circumstances we were comfortable with or attached to change, we grieve.
In general, the stronger our attachment to the person or the thing, the stronger our grief will be.
You see, love and grief are two sides of the same precious coin. One does not—and cannot—exist without the other. They are the yin and yang of our lives. People sometimes say that grief is the price we pay for the joy of having loved. If we allow ourselves the grace of love, we must also allow ourselves the grace of grief and mourning.

Grief vs. Mourning
If grief is what we think and feel inside, what is mourning? Mourning is the outward expression of our grief.

Mourning is crying, talking about the loss, journaling, sharing memories, and telling stories. Other ways to mourn include praying, making things, joining in ceremonies, and participating in support groups. Mourning is how, over time, we begin to heal. It is through active and honest mourning that we reconstruct hope and meaning in our lives.

The Six Needs of Mourning
During our journey through grief and mourning, we all encounter six needs we must meet if we are to heal:

Acknowledge the reality of the death.
Embrace the pain of the loss.
Remember the person who died.
Develop a new self-identity.
Search for meaning.
Receive support from others.

Reconciling Our Grief
We’re sure you understand by now that love never ends. We continue to love those who have died. Because grief is love’s twin, grief never ends either.

We don’t “recover from” or “get over” grief. Instead, we become reconciled to it. We learn to live with it and integrate it into our continued living. We come to reconciliation in our grief journeys when the full reality of the loss becomes a part of us. Healing is not returning to an old normal but rather creating a new normal.

Our grief does soften, however. It we explore, embrace, and express it along the way, it eventually becomes less painful. The more actively we grieve, mourn, and meet our six needs of mourning, the more likely we are to live the rest of our days with meaning, love, and joy.

There is darkness and pain in grief, but there is also hope. We have loved, and we must now muster the courage to mourn.

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