Sanctuary for the Heart.

07/25/2025

The Truth is Always Now.

07/24/2025

KINSHIP

Maisie is at the window this morning watching two bunnies in the yard and I’m watching her watch the bunnies. What simple pleasure. I put some water, lettuce and carrots down for them last night because everything is so dry here. I notice that the ants have found their way to the hummingbird feeder. A trail of ants from the roof down to the hummingbird feeder and into the little plastic flowers. The hummingbirds don’t seem to mind the little intruders. Sadly, the ants meet their demise once they are in the feeder.

I’ve been having so many conversations with people lately about not feeling safe with other human beings. We don’t feel safe with our own species. It seems that we, as a species, are very bad at providing safety and reflecting each other’s goodness. It’s such a big topic and one that I might get into more at some point but for right now I just wanted to mention a current theme that underlies many conversations I am having lately. “I don’t feel safe with other humans.” I’m almost relieved to hear this coming to the forefront of my trauma work. I sense it’s something that we don’t often talk about because we are so conditioned to pretend in relationships. “I’ll pretend to feel safe with you while you pretend to feel safe with me.”

The two bunnies were just chasing each other in the yard and Maisie barked at them through the screen and their little bodies went into freeze. Two little statues in the yard. Maisie has a prey drive so I closed the door so she can’t bark at them and they ran back under the shed. All is well. i know from experience that they will both be back to the lettuce and carrots within minutes. Animals don’t get stuck in trauma responses in the same way human beings do.

How can we evoke a sense of safety in the people we are in contact with? When I look at a vase of flowers; a small child; a kitten or a beautiful sunset I feel my beauty, innocence and truth reflected back to me. The breeze in the trees gently moves through my body too. The morning after a snowfall evokes a sense of the sacred that I can’t put into words. The sound of crows lives in me as a kinship that I don’t even understand. Can we become more like the rest of nature that reflects naturally without even trying. Just by being. There’s a stillness; a beauty; a magnificence; an innocence in nature that is void of pretence. That is also our nature. Human nature.

As we tend to our traumatized self what begins to emerge is our true nature. Our nature without the burden of fear and pretence. We slowly begin to learn that we can be here with ease. What has been buried under layers of self protection and posturing begins to unfold as kind; caring; listening; slow; quiet; open; friendly; present; sensitive; alive; warm; receptive; clear; calm; authentic; strong; boundaried; honest and trustworthy. We are moved by something that is essential to our nature rather than by our past trauma. We know the areas where we can’t be trusted to be kind and we honour that by continuing our healing work. This is how we become a safe person for ourself and for others. We begin to trust ourself and others do too. The most precious gift of a lifetime is to reconnect with our essential nature and to express that in whatever ways are most natural to us.

For information about private sessions and upcoming courses and events: www.candacekirby.ca

07/24/2025

The survival self says, “I need to anticipate everything that could go wrong so I can be safe” as the present moment continues to remind us that, “all is well right now”.

If you’re anxious, don’t shame yourself for it. Get curious. Sit with it. Ask it what it’s trying to protect you from. When you listen —really listen—you’ll realize it’s not the enemy. It’s the part of you that once kept you safe. It just doesn’t know you’re safe now.

07/24/2025

Your nature is God's nature. There is only one appearing as many. 🌿

07/24/2025

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2eOtzEB8D8

Bernardo Kastrup argues why the dichotomy between free will and determinism is false. Watch the entire interview here: https://youtu.be/Nv1OXXfTYfk?si=5gpR6...

07/23/2025

I see you.

07/23/2025

Taking care of and tending to the traumatized physiology does not imply a belief in separation. It's our nature to tend to what's hurting. "Love comes back for everything." ~ Adyashanti

07/23/2025

Waking up in simple quiet joy is not dependent on circumstances. Simple quiet joy is our nature.

07/23/2025

When we were children we didn't have any other option but to split off into survival. It wasn't a choice but a survival response to adversity. Awakening is closing the gap of separation and coming back to our true nature. This is also the path of trauma healing. We arrive back where we started. Simple alive being in alignment with all that is right now.

07/23/2025

Be aware of the impetus/energy of the survival self in the physiology. What if you could let it arise like the waves on the shoreline and then subside back into the ocean. Be the still ground beneath the waves. That which is unchanging. Waves appearing and waves subsiding. The survival self has a familiarity. It’s better to be nobody, knowing nothing, going nowhere, no past, no future, no certainty, no separation; than to be a separate fearful somebody.

07/22/2025

https://youtu.be/GWhSNNsDjDM?si=p74KR4JsBQ4rQHmx

In a world that constantly pulls us in a thousand directions — through noise, distraction, and pressure — it’s easy to lose touch with the quiet ground of be...

07/22/2025

My physiology may always carry the wounds of my past but it's these very wounds that make me love softer and kinder as I continue to meet my past with one intention, "may I welcome and love this too".