04/19/2024
We owe it to our young people to call out this kind of bad behaviour.
Maya Angelou once said that, ‘Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women’.
Hannah Waddingham just did that. When asked to ‘show me some leg’ whilst being photographed, she, quite rightly, called out the photographer with ‘you’d never say that to a man…don’t be a d***…no.’ And she’s right. She’s so right. Because it’s utterly outrageous that in this day and age, women are still subjected to and expected to reveal themselves for the male gaze. That we are scrutinised and judged on our appearance and expected to accept it. That the photographer felt that this was an acceptable request in the first place shows just how far we as a society still have to go.
When I was growing up, from my very early teens in fact, I remember cars slowing down whilst I was walking home. Leering out of the window. Wolf whistles. ‘Get your t@* # out for the lads’. Being groped on a night out. Being told, ‘Just stand there and look pretty’ whilst at work. The conversations, professionally and socially, that have been had whilst someone stared at my breasts whilst I wanted to scream, ‘I’m up here actually’.
It’s not ok. None of it. It wasn’t ok then. I just didn’t have the confidence to speak out. To say no. It seemed that was just the way it was back then. Accepted. That I should in some way be grateful for the attention. That I should be pleased that someone should find me attractive. Except that I wasn’t actually. I found it all a bit intimidating, predatory in fact.
At 45, I’d now have a great deal to say in reply and it would be most likely very colourfully put.
When you have a daughter, it hits deeper. Because I don’t want that for her. I don’t want her to believe, as I did, that her worth is based on her appearance. I don’t want her to feel that validation comes from the approval of others full stop. I want her to know that she has to right to be glamorous, if she wishes, without that meaning anyone has the right to expect something in return, whether that be a flash of her legs or anything else. That they are her legs. And if she wants to wear a skirt or shorts that doesn’t mean she’s asking for attention or inviting advances.
Asking a woman to show leg may seem trivial to some but actually it represents something far more worrying about how women are still viewed in our society. Imagine if a photographer asked a male celebrity to ‘show me some abs, that’s it show me calf.’ It wouldn’t happen. It shouldn’t have been asked of Hannah Waddingham either.
Thank you Hannah, for in standing up for yourself, you stood up for me and for my daughter. For all of us. Little girls are watching. What an example you have just set them ❤️