Pacatus

12/05/2024

❤️❤️❤️

11/27/2024

❤️

11/21/2024

In the weeks after a death common acquaintances slowly return to their day to day lives. We begin to go longer and longer without thinking about the friend we lost. This is normal. But remember this is not the case for closer friends and family.

The rule of three can be helpful if you want to BE helpful. Do check ins. 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. Set reminders if need be. Checking in with a simple how are you doing today is invaluable.

And never be afraid to talk about the person they lost. It generally brings comfort. Share a story. Ask a question. Be engaged. They have died, but they have not really gone away. Not for those who love them.

❤️

11/18/2024

This man. Amazing. He has so much comfort in his heart.

11/11/2024

Heroes in Grief Podcast Latest release!

E27 - Christine Bailor-Goodlander & Kerry Ybarra - End of Life Doulas

Those of you in the Western New York are can find them at Body Essential Wellness Center

Find the show on YouTube () & on all the podcast outlets.

11/11/2024

The short answer is it doesn’t.

And it doesn’t get easier.

Grief is a by product of love. We don’t stop loving a person when they die. It’s the love that keeps grief sticking around.

What we need to keep in mind, especially in the early stages of grief, is that it changes and becomes manageable. The evolution of grief takes time and work but it serves a purpose.

Over the next few days I will discuss some coping tools and tips to help yourself and your loved ones during the difficult first stages of grief.

If you or anyone you know is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out. No one needs to be alone in grief if they don’t want to.

11/10/2024

How do we help kids deal with loss?

This can be a very difficult conversation. Often a death of a friend or loved one before the age of 25 is a child’s first exposure to death, grief and loss. How we deal with it will have a big impact and will form patterns in how they deal with death in the future.

Best advice is to go slowly and tread lightly. Answer any questions as honestly as you can. Even if that answer is “I don’t know.”

Ask often if they have heard enough? Do they want to keep talking or do they need a break. Let them guide the conversation. It can be very overwhelming. Don’t push. Don’t force. Some kids do not want to talk at all.

This process is called micro dosing and it’s a valuable tactic for anyone who is struggling with loss.

11/09/2024

One of the most amazing things I learned as I trained to be a Doula is the power of silence. Just holding space can be so healing. Listening. Responding with empathy, but just shutting up is what someone who is grieving needs from you. It may sound counter intuitive but it is very powerful.

So as we work through helping our loved ones through grief we need to remember there is nothing we can say to fix it. The best thing you can do is show up and shut up. Hold space. Be there. Truly that is what is needed.

❤️

11/08/2024

An entire community is dealing with a variety of grief and will be for some time.

If you need support, reach out. Anyone interested in a grief group please let me know and I can set something up in the next week so we can try to move forward with our feelings.

If you can, please support Jack and his family.

Life is so precious. Show love. But right now we all need to take one step at a time.

Hi, my name is Meghan and my younger brother, Jack, is fighting for his life. He was in a seve… Meghan Duff needs your support for Jack’s Medical Journey Fund

11/01/2024

When we experience grief, we want others to witness it. This is not because we want them to take our pain away or ‘fix’ the problem, but instead because we just need someone there with us. We want someone to be present and walk through this experience with us because losing a loved one is devastating, and it should not be treated as a problem to solve. Sometime having the grief witnessed is best help we can receive.