06/11/2025
âźď¸Trigger Warning: Sexual harassment, traumaâźď¸
On my Birthday, I went to see a new male client for a homecare visit. He called earlier in the week and said he was 75, in severe pain, and unable to leave his house. [He mentioned living with his wife, which made me feel more comfortable.] I felt bad for himâhe sounded desperate for help.
But when I arrived, he was walking around the house fairly well, without any gait aid. And red flags started adding up quickly:
đŠ He referenced âvideos of me dancingâ online that made him feel comfortable inviting me into his home
đŠ He repeatedly asked if I felt comfortable and said he was nervous.
đŠ He lay down in his bedroom, told his wife to stay in the kitchen, and refused to give his Wi-Fi password.
đŠ He kept pulling at his pajama pants waistband, saying, âDonât worry, you wonât see anything, I just need to relieve pressure.â
đŠ During exercises, he reached for my shoulder to âbalanceâ several times despite me offering my hand
đŠ Twice he asked if I wanted to see him do the stairs to the basement
đŠ He was constantly positioning himself between me and the door
đŠ As I was finishing up, he said: âWould you feel comfortable taking a look down here?â â pointing into his pants.
I said no, packed up, and left.
He followed me to my car and pressed his face to the window.
I locked the door, drove away, called my husband, then called the police.
⸝
Iâm sharing this because as a child, I experienced s*xual abuse. I stayed silent. I didnât know how to speak up â
But now, as an adult, I know better. I know the only way to stop this cycle is to speak out.
And Iâm not alone. Too many other women have shared similar stories with me.
Before anyone says, âYou just need to be more careful,â let me be clear:
Women already live in hypervigilance.
We plan our exits. Share our locations.
This isnât about women needing to do more.
This is about men needing to do better â and women feeling empowered to speak their truth.
We donât owe anyone silence.
We donât owe anyone comfort at the expense of our safety.
We are powerful in numbers.
Our truth is our strength.
And we are done carrying shame that was never ours. đ