11/20/2025
Grief, guilt, lemons to lemonade
This is a very difficult post to share but I know I can do difficult.
During my 60 years of walking on this planet I have experienced many losses and reactions.
At 18, a beautiful Calico named Beebee got outside and digested poison. it wasn't until she was in my arms I discovered she was pregnamt. Heart breaking, I cradled her and cried and cried. I yelled at my boyfriend, We have to save her! He said There was nothing we could do. We buried her.
It was 8 years before I brought another cat into my heart and home.
In 2023, just before the Wild Fire Evacuation a pretty young female Ginger decided we had potential. We returned home and nearly every night she came by or stayed over and slept at our heads.
One middle of the night I awoke to mews. Turns out Pretty had 4 beautiful babies under my side of the bed. We named them...Harry, Daphne, Joy and Indie.
Curious kitten that Indie was she could often be found exploring the inner workings of the washer, dryer, dishwasher.
One afternoon I had a friend over for tea. Laundry on the go.
I went to shift the wash to the dry and discovered, much to my horror, Indie, laying atop the wash.
I tried to revive her.
i called the vet.
All the while, my amazing friend stood by comforting-It was a horrible accident.
I was a mess. This beautiful girl drowned, was trapped and couldn't get out.
I called John.
John came home from work and my friend left. John and I cried and cried as we gently wrapped her and took her to the vet for individual cremation.
A few weeks later Indie arrived home in a lovely urn. Her favorite sibling Harry went straight to the urn and laid down beside her.
I couldn't do laundry.
I couldn't go near the washer.
I was shocked by some peoples reaction to this tragedy.
I was traumatized.
I just kept seeing her image.
Over and over.
I could smell her.
Here's the thing...
Sh*tty, horrific things happen.
I can choose to stay stuck in the trauma response or look at ways to honor the memory of this beautiful soul we lost.
In Indie's honor and with the help of Tamara B. I have created a sticker based on the one attached.
I'll be including one in our Annual Christmas letter and they'll be available by donation -Minimum $2.
Proceeds will go towards local cats wellbeing.
Miss and love you Indie,
Leah