Do you hide your feelings from your partner when you’re annoyed with them? Although this might seem like the right way to avoid conflict and remain happy in your relationship, the opposite is actually true! You will always introduce more problems by not communicating, and you will always get closer to solving problems when you do communicate. Before discussing annoyances, we should check in with ourselves to see if the annoyance is something that is actually triggered by a past memory or even trauma. (for instance, if my mother always criticised me, I may be more sensitive to perceived criticisms.) In my communication with my partner, rather than saying I’m annoyed at them for being critical, I may say “I notice I am feeling criticised.” and ask if that was their intention or not. I may tell them whether the tone or words have triggered that feeling for me. In discussing annoyances it should be kept in mind that we cannot expect a partner to be perfect and do everything to ensure we never are annoyed, but by communicating about how we are interpreting and perceiving their behaviours and how we are being affected we can get to a better place with more understanding for one another. That does not mean that the process of honest communication is always pleasant or easy. We can help walk you and your partner through some painful conversations so you come out the other side stronger than ever. Book an appointment today! Visit https://splashyeg.com #splashpsychology #yegtherapy #yourpartner #listen
What can you do to help someone who is triggered? There are several ways to help get yourself or someone else through this situation. These techniques include: Grounding, breathing, soothing, and removal from the trigger. Are you not sure what some of these techniques are or are you feeling nervous about your ability to apply them? Contact us for an appointment today! We are accepting new clients in Edmonton and would love to walk you through each one. Visit https://splashyeg.com #yegfamily #yegteens #psychology #splashpsychology
Are you wondering what it means when your teen tells you that they are “triggered” by something you’re saying to them? Being triggered refers to a diffuse arousal in the body and activation of the fight or flight response. This means they lose the ability to think clearly and become emotionally reactive because their bodies believe they are in a dangerous situation. When your teen tells you they are triggered or you notice the behaviour described above, typical conversational techniques won’t work. Watch the second part of our “triggered” video series to see what techniques ARE available to you and your triggered teen. We are accepting new clients via self referral, which means help is just a click away. Visit https://splashyeg.com. #teen #yeg #psychology #splashpsychology
Do you struggle with identifying your emotions in the moment? You might not have thought of it this way before, but the purpose of your emotions is to make your body move in some way. Fear makes you run, for example, and anger can make you want to fight. By recognizing the way they make your body react, you can begin to name the emotions you are feeling and know what to do about them.
We are now accepting new patients in Edmonton! Contact us today for more help in dealing with your emotions.
#yegliving #yeghealth #counselling
Do you need help dealing with conflict in your relationship? Fighting in a healthy way is difficult, and we understand that. One important thing we suggest is choosing a sentence that you prepare when you’re calm but say when you’re mad and need some separation. This sentence should tell your partner that you love them, that you need a rest, and that you are coming back.
We are now accepting new patients in Edmonton! Contact us today for more relationship help.
#yegliving #yeghealth #counselling
Traumatic events can leave us feeling threatened, scared, or anxious. Car accidents, death, abuse, or other distressing events can be traumatic for us. If you experience flashbacks, or nightmares, have difficulty sleeping, feel triggered by certain situations, are easily irritated or angered, notice shakiness, or hypervigilance, and/or have begun avoid certain places or people you may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. #traumatherapy #yegtherapist #yegcounselling
Play therapy works for children because play comes naturally to them! Children use role play, sensory play, or play with toys, to create a level of separation between themselves and the overwhelming problem. This helps support emotional regulation while they work through difficult experiences. #playtherapy #sandplay #yegfamily #yegcounselling
Grief and loss feel like the hardest things we can go through—impossible even to live through at times. Some loss is more visible, such as loss of loved ones or divorce, while others are not seen, such as miscarriages, loss of a job, loss of a sense of self, and loss of one’s place in life or sense of meaning. We are here to help. #therapy #yegtherapist #yegcounselling
We encourage couples to attend counselling to improve the parts of their marriages that need tune-ups before resentment or detachment begins. Healthy relationships add meaning and happiness to not only the couple’s lives but to their families as well. Couples who communicate well, share a deep friendship, and care about one another’s goals and dreams are happier and even physically healthier. #yegtherapist #yegcouples #relationships
Every child is different, so we offer every play option we can think of! Art, sand play, toys, games, role play, puppets, stories and much more!#playtherapy #yegfamily #yegcounselling
In play therapy, children are given a platform to express what is going on for them. Parents can gain insight into their child’s world to understand what it feels like for them and better understand what they need. Children enjoy play therapy because they feel in charge and in control while working through difficult subjects.Now accepting new clients via self referral in #yeg#playtherapist #yegtherapist #yegfamily
“I can’t believe you didn’t mow the lawn before our friends arrived. You always do this. Why are you so lazy?”
OR:
“I felt embarrassed that the lawn wasn’t mowed before our friends visited. Could we talk about how we should get our house ready before guests visit in the future?”
Same conversation, two different start-ups.
How you start a conversation makes a huge difference in the outcome. If you start an argument harshly, you will end up with at least as much tension as you began with. Using a softened start-up is crucial to resolving conflict before it begins because it allows you to bring up a legitimate disagreement or concern, without blaming or judging your partner.
Krister and Sue Temme are Registered Psychologists and trained in the Gottman Method for couples. They accept patients via self-referral. Click the link for more information! https://loom.ly/AzouNbs
@gottmaninstitute
Empathy is generally understood as the capacity to identify and share someone else’s emotions and experiences. Dr. Gottman describes empathy as mirroring a partner’s feelings in a way that lets them know their feelings are understood and shared.
For example, a reaction to your partner’s concerns that shows empathy sounds like, _“That would have hurt my feelings too.”_ A reaction that lacks empathy sounds like, _“I don’t understand why you’re making this into such a big deal. Just get over it.”_ Can you see how one comment shows you are a supportive partner, and the other could cause hurt feelings and anger?
By engaging in supportive, intimate conversations with your partner, you can build trust, which is the most important ingredient in a healthy, happy relationship.
Krister and Sue Temme are Registered Psychologists and trained in the Gottman Method for couples. They accept patients via self-referral. Click the link for more information! https://loom.ly/AzouNbs
Hey everyone! Sue here…
If you don’t want to read a cancer(ish) kind of story at Christmas feel free to stop here and know that Krister and I wish you an awesome holiday!
If you’re up for it though, and would like me to let you in on a secret I learned one Christmas about being present read on…
I had just had a chemo treatment on the 23rd of December years back and was feeling weak and unable to do my usual at Christmas Eve routine (obsess over making everything perfect, having just the right amount of baking, decorations, ensuring everything happens on time… you get the picture). I consider myself a recovered perfectionist at the moment, but back then I was not yet recovered from this anxiety-inducing thing we like to sometimes view as success.
Well, the Christmas I was sick nothing happened as it normally would have. There were maybe only two types of cookies baked by my mother and the decorations were not near perfect, food wasn’t getting ready on time and my kiddos face and hair were a mess. I would have normally shot up into action cleaning, fixing, leading (or bossing based on how you feel when being led by another family member 😉. While I sat there, though, with a 50% chance I may or may not be around the Christmas to follow I was able to be present in a way I hadn’t been able to be before. As I sat there soaking in the sounds of the kiddos laughing as they played with one another, seeing the smiles and hugs, feeling the warmth of the room and my hubby’s arm around me, I was filled with so much joy.
I can’t exactly bottle this up, but here’s what I do now when I want to get back to that deep, joyous feeling. Call a 5 minute freeze. Drop what you are doing and relax your body. Take in the things around you (what you see, feel, hear, etc.). Don’t think about the future or past and if your mind wanders to these just bring it back to where you are now. See what you can find to be grateful for at this very moment and just breathe. Jus
Sometimes when we worry we feel we are accomplishing something. We are preparing for the “what ifs”, ensuring things run smoothly, and creating safety and certainty. The problem with this is, however, that anxiety craves certainty and us allowing this to run our behaviours only further plays in to anxiety.
So, if you are someone who struggles with anxiety, choose something that increases uncertainty just a little more than what’s comfortable and face it with a fresh approach to “level up” on putting anxiety in its place. Don’t test yourself with something huge right away and ensure you have support from others that you can lean on as you experiment.
Anxiety does not have to rule our lives.
#weareinthistogether #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #anxietyawareness #anxietyrelief #yegbusiness