Today we live in a touch phobic society.
People have become so afraid to touch each other as many don’t want to seem soft or weak, some are unsure about healthy touch boundaries, and others fear catching or passing along a virus.
Men in particular take the brunt of this as our culture from their earliest years has required them to “man up” and be tough. It has left many men feeling unsure and “weird” when confronted with non-sexual touch like hugging, especially from other men.
This is not to say that there is not a difference between safe and healthy touch and touch that is unsafe or invades our personal boundaries and negatively affects our wellbeing. Both inappropriate touch and a lack of touch does harm.
But this prevalent lack of healthy touch in the world today comes with very real and very lasting effects which will impact our society for some time to come.
The Importance of Touch
Why is touch so critical to your wellbeing and the wellbeing of every person (as well as most animals) on this planet?
Quite simply put, touch is the first sense we develop. It begins from the time we are in the womb and can feel our mother’s heartbeat through the amniotic fluid.
When we are born, how much touch we receive from our caregivers greatly affects how we develop physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Studies have found that touch deprivation in children predicts later cognitive and neurodevelopmental delays. This result of a lack of supportive, nurturing, and affectionate touch during those critical childhood years can lead to or be associated with cognitive delays, body image dissatisfaction, and psychopathologies such as depression and eating disorders.
Further, Dr. Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine and the lead author of a 2002 study in the journal Adolescence, looked at 49 cultures and found that “The cultures that exhibited minimal physical affection toward their young children had significantly higher rates of adult violence.” She also said. “Those cultures that showed significant amounts of physical affection toward their young children had virtually no adult violence.”
But touch is not just needed in our earliest years. It is equally significant all throughout our lives.
In her more than thirty years of research on touch, Dr. Field also found in one series of studies, where one group of elderly participants received regular, conversation-filled social visits and the other received social visits that also included massage, that the second group saw emotional and cognitive benefits over and above those of the first. These benefits can look like reduced insomnia and chronic pain, less stress, depression and anxiety, and better physical coordination.
How Touch Can Benefit Your Health
Healthy, safe touch has numerous benefits.
In fact, in one study touch was shown to boost the immune systems of people who had been exposed to the common cold.
During the two-week period, 400 plus adults recorded their social interactions each day, specifically the number of hugs they received. Those same people were then quarantined in rooms on an isolated hotel floor, where the researchers proceeded to expose them to a cold virus. Seventy-eight percent of the subjects were infected and just over thirty-one percent showed signs of illness.
What was interesting is that the people who had experienced more supportive social interactions battled the infection more effectively and showed fewer signs of illness. Perhaps more significantly, hugging accounted for thirty-two percent of the reduction effect.
This effect goes beyond just a better ability to fight off viruses.
Manuel Arroyo-Morales, a professor of physiotherapy at the University of Granada in Spain, has led studies looking into the impact of massage therapies on cancer patients. He found that when touch is consensual and comes from a person with whom the patient is comfortable, it helps to reduce pain and fatigue, strengthens the immune system, and lowers anxiety.
There are also studies showing that touching patients with Alzheimer’s disease can have huge effects on helping them to relax, make emotional connections with others, and reduce their symptoms of depression.
But the health benefits of touch are more far reaching than even these examples.
Everyone receives health benefits from touch. Touch can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels, improve memory, and increase positive and uplifting emotions.
How Touch Benefits Your Relationships
Healthy touch doesn’t just improve your health. It is also the key to healthy and strong relationships. The touch doesn’t have to be long or meaningful. A touch that lasts less than a second can influence behaviour.
For example, research has found that students who were gently touched on the back by a teacher in a friendly way were twice as likely to volunteer and participate in a class discussion.
And because touch activates the body’s vagus nerve which is closely connected with our compassionate response, it makes us more compassionate as well as more likely to co-operate and share resources.
It can even help repair relationships. Being touched during an apology adds warmth and sincerity, helping soothe any leftover negative emotion or upset.
Additionally, physical affection between couples in relationships is powerful. It helps nurture feelings of trust and connectedness in the couples.
In fact, cuddling and caressing are important ingredients for long-term relationship satisfaction, according to an international study that looks at relationship and sexual satisfaction throughout committed relationships. The Kinsey Institute study involved more than 1,000 couples from five countries – the U.S., Brazil, Germany, Spain and Japan.
Incorporating More Healthy Touch in Your Life
I hope I have made the case for the importance of getting enough healthy touch in your life.
Thankfully there are many ways you can incorporate touch into your life to reap its many benefits, even amid the current concerns and challenges that COVID-19 present.
The most obvious are hugging and cuddling with your immediate family members. This includes furry family members, who need those cuddles as much as you do.
Depending on your bubble size and comfort level, you can go for more traditional touch forms such as a handshake or a hand on the arm or shoulder of friends and extended family members. If you are feeling more cautious you can always go for an “elbow bump”
For those with limited capability to access touch in their personal lives, there are many options for therapeutic touch such as the numerous different forms of massage and bodywork. In certain urban areas you can even find professional cuddlers.
Wishing you much health and happiness, regardless of what types of healthy touch you seek out.
