Evelyn Ellison MSW RSW

04/24/2022

11/22/2020

This is great!

A friend shared this and I really liked the lesson! *original poster (Kate Scott 2020)*:

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.
I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.
“What are you struggling with?” he asked.
I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”
Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”
I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.
I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.
But I didn’t.
So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”
I felt like an idiot even saying it.
What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?
But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.
“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”
It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.
That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.
I felt like I had conquered a dragon.
The next day, I took a shower lying down.
A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the f**k they fit.
There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.
Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.
RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

06/17/2020

Good article....

Boundaries are our clear lines + limits.

Most of us were conditioned to dismiss our boundaries. We had parents who ignored them or unconsciously invalidated them. Ex: You don’t want to play with a friend + your mom says “just go play with her” Or ignoring privacy boundaries by snooping or reading a journal.

Many of us didn’t see adults modeling healthy boundaries in their own relationships. I know that I didn’t witness this, so my work was to practice (over + over) setting boundaries.

And I fully understand how uncomfortable it is. Highly uncomfortable!

Some ways to know you weren’t modeled boundaries:
1. You feel fear/guilt/shame around declining to do something you don’t want to do
2. You question if you have a ‘right’ to have time to yourself or if you’re being ‘selfish’
3. You have a difficult time understanding if the emotional response of other people is your responsibility: you don’t know what’s ‘yours’ or ‘theirs’

When we set boundaries, we are not looking to control another person. It’s important to understand that everyone has a right to feel the way they do about the boundaries we set. All we can control is our response. We can resist explaining. And, we can follow through even when we discomfort.

This is the path to self empowerment. To restoring our self worth. And to avoiding the resentment that comes from not honoring our limit.

What’s the hardest part of boundaries for you?

04/16/2020

Naturopathic medicine is system of primary healthcare that focuses on prevention of disease. Naturopathic doctors use a combination of physical and lab evaluation and evidence based natural therapies to diagnose and treat many aspects of family health, in all patients from children to the elderly. W...

03/22/2020

Great article by a friend of mine for those who have teens at home:

https://www.butimbrave.com/post/corona-virus-i-ve-been-training-my-whole-life-for-this

11 years of youth work. 4 years of parenting. A well worn copy of "The Mutiny on the Bounty"

03/21/2020

Something to pay attention to during this difficult and unpredictable time...

03/20/2020

I have been happy to discover that video sessions are going better than expected! (btw the audio button is on the bottom left of the screen😊)

03/18/2020

Update for my clients - I apologize that I haven’t been able to post till now, as I am sure you’re wondering what’s happening. I have been out of the country with limited access to wifi.

In line with the social distancing recommendations from our government and in adherence to guidelines from my clinic, I will be going virtual for the next two weeks, and will re-evaluate on March 30.

Here are some options:

1)You keep your appointment and we meet online by video - I will send you info about how to download the Zoom app.

2)You keep your appointment and we meet via phone.

3)If children at home or anything prevents you from having an hour in private, I will gladly offer 30 minute check-in appointments.

4)If you notice yourself feeling worried or anxious in this moment, you are welcome to email or text me for support.

5)You may cancel your appointment(s) all together and I will call you in two weeks to re-evaluate.

I will contact everyone who has an appointment booked and we can decide what will work best for you.

03/15/2020

Learn about how the Ministry of Health is preparing for the 2019 novel coronavirus in Ontario. Find out how to protect yourself, what to do if you’re sick after you travel and how to recognize possible symptoms. Get information in other languages Contact Telehealth Ontario at 1-866-797-0000 or you...

02/03/2020

Love working with all the amazing people here!

01/13/2020

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-powerful-mindset-shifts-to-stop-worrying-about-what-other-people-think/

If you obsess about what people think of you and beat yourself up if you feel you've done something others might judge, read on.

12/08/2019

https://www.facebook.com/716745651/posts/10162748126675652/

11/11/2019

07/19/2019

Love working with this amazing team! Grateful ❤️

We are very fortunate to have assembled such a professional, skilled, and compassionate health care team! Thanks Me Photography for capturing us so well!