01/11/2026
I am deeply saddened by the recent events in our community. A phrase I keep seeing is “talk to your kids.”
Talking to our children is incredibly important. Connection matters.
Many kids who are deeply loved, listened to, and supported still struggle.
Yes — we should talk to our kids.
But we also need to widen the lens because what happens between kids matters too.
Bullying, exclusion, and social cruelty often happen quietly, repeatedly, and in front of others. In most of these moments, there are bystanders — kids who want to help but don’t know what to do or don’t feel safe doing it.
It’s not enough to tell kids to “stand up” or “be kind.”
We need to teach skills.
Teach safe action first.
Not confrontation. Not hostility. Not shaming.
The goal is to help kids learn how to:
• Interrupt harm
• Distract or redirect the moment
• De-escalate
• Support the person being targeted
• Get help when it’s not safe to handle alone
What this actually looks like by age:
Younger Elementary (K–2)
Focus: safety, kindness, getting help
• “That’s not kind.”
• “Come play with us.”
• Stand beside the child who’s being picked on
• Get a trusted adult right away
Upper Elementary (Grades 3–5)
Focus: interruption, inclusion, simple boundaries
• “That’s not cool — stop.”
• “Let’s do something else.”
• Invite the child into another group
• Tell an adult when something keeps happening
Middle School (Grades 6–8)
Focus: de-escalation, group support, social courage
• “Hey, let’s drop it.”
• “That’s not okay.”
• Check in privately: “I saw that — are you okay?”
• Go to an adult together or report when needed
High School (Grades 9–12)
Focus: calm boundaries, support, accountability
• “That’s hurtful — cut it out.”
• “This isn’t okay.”
• Stay with or walk with the targeted person
• Document and report when it’s unsafe to intervene
It is not a child’s job to fix everything and this is not about putting the onus on them to do it. It is about giving them language to use if needed.
And adults need to model this — calmly, consistently, and without shaming.
We don’t protect kids by blaming parents or expecting children to navigate social harm alone.
We protect them by building shared language, collective responsibility, and safer cultures — at home, at school, online, and in our communities.
Let’s practice these skills together.
