01/10/2025
Today was.... To say the least, busy, work was crazy, emotions ran high, and as I was heading home, my mother in law, who drives the kids and I home everyday, said something, and it really hit me, I felt a pull to go down to the scene of a tragic accident that happened to my family, we lost a hero that day, a man who saved his son in the river, who saved us all really, as did my husband whom I am so grateful to still have, but every time I pass that spot, I want to visit it, and she said to me "I know why you want to go down there, and it's not for closure, it's because you feel responsible for what happened, because that day was supposed to be fun, camping by the river, and having fun in the water, and you feel you are responsible for it happening" because really, I wanted to swim, and so did his son, who was just a little boy, my nephew, the current became strong and took us to where he couldn't reach, we tried to get out, and couldn't. I have a strong sense of guilt, and have since the day it happened, I don't remember 90% of what happened, I remember yelling for help, and then waking up in the hospital, freaking out because I couldn't find my husband, after that, it was like I became so numb inside, that I went through the motions, and buried my guilt so deep, but now, I'm having moments where I feel the guilt eating at me, and the sadness my family has had, if he were here today, he would slap me for having these feelings. My mother in law told me to let go of the guilt I feel, and stop feeling responsible, because things happen in life that we can't help. This woman, my mother in law, is a godly woman, who had never once judged me in my beliefs, never judged that I am a witch, and always will be, she prays for me, and I send out energy to the universe that she will always be here, because she deserves happiness where she is in life, and will definitely go to her heaven when she crosses over, her words healed me a bit today. The moral of this story is, we don't judge each other for our beliefs, we are family. She always supports me, and I'll always support her, she was raised by a religious mother and father, who taught her every bit of good they knew, and she passes on some of their lessons daily. I'm not saying I'll ever be like her in her beliefs, but I'll never judge anyone because they believe in God, spirit, creator, or gods/goddesses. We coexist in this life, and should accept everyone as they are. I am grateful, I have love from all kinds of people from all different beliefs.
Blessed be.
Keeper π€π€