Lean In Counselling & Consulting Inc.

04/01/2025

Gratitude. ✨️
7 years today, I opened my doors.
You opened your hearts and extended your trust.
I'm very grateful and so honoured to share our time, together.

12/20/2024

10/29/2024

👇

10/02/2024

Many people believe they have an addictive personality. But on a deeper level, what they’re struggling with is: an inability to self soothe.

When we can’t soothe ourselves (which just means feel and calm down from an emotional experience)— we seek external things that will do this for us. This can be substances, shopping, gambling, chronic scrolling, s*x, or anything else that relieves and distracts us.

We learn how to self soothe beginning at birth. For babies and young children, developmentally, there is no such thing as self soothing. We need co-regulation— or an adult who sees us struggling and offers calm support a majority of the time. Through this experience we develop the ability to self soothe. We understand “ok, when I am upset I can breathe, feel intense emotions, and know they will eventually pass.” This gives us the ability to cope and navigate the future stressors of life.

If we don’t have attuned parent figures who noticed our stress and help us calm from it— we start to become overtaken by our emotional experience. Our attachment systems are designed for others to help us, and instead we learn: “I must do this alone. No one can help me. I’m too overwhelmed.” Children with this experience will start to cope in many ways: chronic day dreaming, using food to calm/numb, or “acting out” behaviors (an attempt to seek connection.)

Later, they will become adults with addictive personalities. They will seek external things to relief internal feelings. Even if those behaviors bring them misery, pain, or a loss of control.

The beautiful part of all of this is that we can learn how to self soothe at any age. We can slowly, widen our nervous system window of tolerance and respond to our emotions rather than react to them.

We are not on default settings, and can always heal

09/25/2024

Don't escape. Lean in.

09/11/2024

Message me for an appointment
Call or text: 204-641-5272

09/03/2024

Hello September!
Now accepting new referrals!

Sometimes when our schedules fall back into place, there is space to start or resume counselling conversations.

Message or call 204-641-5272

05/01/2024

The Holistic Psychologist

04/25/2024

02/21/2024

I grew up in a home where keeping the peace was a normal part of life. Upsetting or disappointing my mom would end up in the silent treatment. My dad, who struggled with communication and understanding his own anger could emotionally spiral quickly. So, from a young age I started dissociating. I checked out. I learned to exist in my little bubble of achievement, rarely voicing my own needs.

Of course this carried over to my first marriage. I kept the peace. Never truly voicing my feelings. Carrying the resentment that always comes from suppressing how we actually feel.

And my body showed the evidence. Through chronic inflammation. And then through scary fainting spells. Where out of nowhere I’d feel dizzy and wake up with a group of people trying to wake me up.

One of the hardest parts of my own journey is to speak difficult truths. To have uncomfortable conversations. And to (finally) be ok with the reality that I can disappoint people. That my role is not to rescue everyone around me from their feelings— like I learned in childhood.

This is your reminder that your role isn’t to keep the peace— it’s to take care of yourself. It’s to assert yourself when needed. It’s to be ok when other people feel uncomfortable. It’s to find the people who don’t require you to betray yourself to be loved