12/07/2025
I woke up this morning insatiably emotional. Maybe you can relate to days like that.
Our bodies, our subconscious, or whatever you want to call it, have an internal clock and we can have feelings, seemingly out of nowhere, until you realize what time of year it is and you remember what happened at that time, some years ago. That is what happened for me today.
I did everything I could today to try and “feel better”. I talked about it, I meditated, I did some deep introspection, I looked for unresolved feelings and tried to resolve them, I forgave myself, I forgave others, I distracted myself, I sat with it and accepted it. I did everything I could think of, including nothing at all. None of it seemed to work, and I know all the tricks.
I eventually decided to go for a drive. I spontaneously, under-dressed and unprepared, drove the car to a trail head and started walking up the mountain. I didn’t make it to the top, but on the way I saw a beautiful view of the sun peaking through an otherwise cloudy day. It made me smile long enough to stop and snap this photo.
Do I feel better? Is anything any different? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe today I don’t need to worry about finding the answers to those questions.
This, believe it or not, is what healing looks like. Some days you find something that works, some days you don’t. It’s all part of it and it’s all okay.
