05/03/2023
Fellow mama's💜 we don't talk enough about how many of us type-A, high-functioning, organized, love to be in control women struggle with maternal mental health. For many of us, we don't think that it could ever happen to us, and we're not willing to say it out loud.
I adapt slowly to change, chaos or the unpredictable. I've compensated for this by trying to control everything. I would follow consistent routines, make lists, stay organized, study hard, lead group projects, say yes to everything, take work home. I was good at all of that, but it ended with burnout😓
Becoming a mama made me feel SO vulnerable, and all the coping mechanisms that got me here were impossible to maintain with one, two and then three littles to care for.
I'll be honest and say that for me, the transition into motherhood was a total shock to the system. There's no perfect, you can't study all night to ace the test. 7 years in, postpartum depression twice✌ its been 18 months since I walked into my doctors office admitting that I was experiencing intrusive thoughts, rage, and anxiety about literally everything, including my partner driving in the car with our children, I was barely sleeping or caring for myself in any real way at one month postpartum.
I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD.
I see everything from an entirely different lens now. I had NO idea that I was suffering as much as I was until I wasn't anymore...
Letting go of the stigma that medication was too much of a risk or looked upon negatively has changed everything.
I'm free to feel happy, to be present with my children and not distracted by my ridiculously unachievable expectations or constant overwhelm.
If you feel like you're suffering in any way, please consider talking openly to a health care provider. It can be so much better than this ⛅
Postpartum support is available to help you through the hard parts.