11/19/2023
So important to have these conversations! Yes it can bring up lots of emotions, but not talking about it doesn’t change the outcome… we all die and potentially don’t have that time honoured the way we want or as peaceful as we would like. I am happy to connect if you want to start this conversation!
Everybody will die sometime. We are born, we experience and then we die. Some of us will die sooner than others. Some of us will die quick, some of us will take a while but eventually we will all die.
SO——why are we so hesitant to make plans for our coming death? Why do we get all nervous and uncomfortable if we or anyone else talks about dying and death? I think each individual has their own particular fear of dying and a death story. A story that generally starts with the first death they experienced and how it was handled and how it was presented. These lasting experiences leave a scar and held in that scar is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of misunderstanding what is normal, fear of the finality death brings.
Fear is the foundation we have built for not talking about our end of life wishes. The thing is if we don’t address and state our end of life wishes (in writing and give a copy to the doctor and significant others in our life) we will die the way someone else thinks we should die.
Most of us just want to go to sleep and not wake up. That does happen but not very often. Most people want to die in their home, in their own bed, and with their dog or cat nearby——but if you don’t have in writing what you want you will probably die in the hospital, attached to tubes and wires. When your heart does stop the medical team will try to restart it—-generally unsuccessfully. Our choice will be honored by everyone if we have planned ahead with an Advanced Directive.
Nothing bad or magical will happen if you talk about dying and death—yours or someone else’s. Something you may not want can happen if you don’t talk about it.