Counselling Guelph

12/22/2022

Virtual Counselling & Therapy for Adults

I do online therapy throughout Ontario with adults who want to understand themselves better, or who are going through a difficult life transition or big change and want support, or with people who are struggling with relationships – with family, work, friends etc.

I can help people figure out next steps, ways to improve their relationships or help them feel good about themselves. I offer compassion, insight, clinical techniques and kindness. Book a Free 30 Minute Consultation and let's talk

08/01/2022

Therapy to help with the difficult people in your life. I’d like to help you resolve some issues and have more piece of mind.
We live in a social world and we all need to relate to others.
• We don’t choose our biological family. Sometimes people in our family have differences of opinion, lifestyle or outlook that are very different than ours and can cause us stress or even conflict.
• Sometimes, even a great job comes with people we don’t understand or who rub us the wrong way.
• Even our intimate relationship might have misunderstandings or communication difficulties that can cause us stress.
As well as listening and discussing important issues with you, I can suggest strategies for resolving difficulties, work on communication skills, and, if necessary, help you change your attitudes or behaviour in order to improve your relationships. Sometimes when you change - they change.
If this interests you – you can book a Free 30 Minute Virtual Consult with me and discuss your situation and goals for therapy. We can then both see if we are a good fit for each.
Let’s work on it together.
Mary

03/23/2020

As of today I will be working solely online with clients.

03/22/2020

March 22, 2020

Dear Clients:

As of today I am offering FREE sessions to my current clients WITHOUT benefits or the means to pay for therapy during this difficult time. If this is you, I’d like to continue our work together and I hope that you take advantage of this.

I am also hoping that those WITH benefits or means, can continue our sessions to use this time to reflect and grow through our therapeutic relationship either in-person or online. As a self-employed therapist, this will help me as well.

For now at least, we can still meet in office (if you are well). I am being vigilant with protocol. I am asking clients to wait outside the front door at 115 Norfolk and I will let you in. You can then wash your hands and I will open all doors on the way in and out. As well, I no longer need a signature for in office credit card payment or you can use e-transfer.

We can also meet online. I use a free, easy, encrypted, we**am based program. Just choose an Online Subsequent Session and you’ll receive more information.

*I hope that you are well, able to pay your bills, and have social contact and support during this unprecedented collective challenge. mary@counsellingguelph.com

With love and concern,
Mary

Book Now for Counselling Guelph & Online Counselling Therapy

03/16/2020

Due to the current risk of COVID-19, also known as the Coronavirus, I encourage all clients who are sick, or experiencing symptoms such as fever, trouble breathing, or coughing to reschedule their appointment. If within 24 hours of your appointment, please call (226)770-0336 to reschedule.

My suggested protocol is to wash your hands in the waiting room bathroom and use social distancing. I will then open all doors for you. You can wash your hands before you leave. If people are very worried, they could wait outside and I can then open all doors for them when they arrive and they can come straight in.

*Please note that I also do online we**am counselling. You can book an online session through Online Counselling Ontario and choose an online session.

02/20/2019

A snapshot of my online booking site.

02/17/2019

I just fixed my Book Now link. Please bear with me as I transition to this online appointment scheduler. Feel free to call or email if you have any problems.

05/31/2018

How Does One Live A Happy Life?

I posed the above question to my Facebook (FB) friends using the “Looking For Recommendations” section of Facebook. I knew that I had the most brilliant friends on FB (don’t we all?) and wanted to crowd source their wisdom.

Sometimes on social media, sincerity and seriousness get misconstrued, or worse - mocked. In “real life” I’ve often been teased for being “so serious”. However, seriousness comes in handy as a therapist! (I’m glad that I found my calling).

Generously, my FB friends took it seriously and gave wonderful recommendations. They offered wisdom garnered from books, life experience, spirituality, and above all, from thoughtful response to my question – How Does One Live A Happy Life? I want to share them with you. I hope that through these recommendations, you find something new to catalyze change, enhance your personal growth, and help you to live a happier life.

Recommendations

• My personal strategy is in an attitude toward what's happening in the moment and looking for pleasing things. Life is everywhere I look and every stage is awesome. Noticing that seems to work for me.

• What he said. Also laughing. Find the fu***ng funny side of life, it's almost always there.

• Never be less than yourself.

• Humans have evolved to be unhappy - sometimes we have to accept it. But:
Remember that you are loved.

• Connect with nature - hug a tree (when no one is looking if course)xoxo

• For me it helps to look at the whole planet, the sick, the old, the impoverished, the oppressed, the fallen, the underemployed, etc and then ask myself "how much happiness do I deserve? more than that child? More than that man? “. Am I happy enough? Am I happy enough? Can I settle for content with moments of happy and sad that are decent in quantity. Am I making anyone else happy? If I keep my gaze turned outwards rather than inwards it works best for me. I also try to do the things I want to... Not put them off. And being outside as much as possible.

• Gratitude and goals work for me. Creative outlets are necessary. Dogs are also excellent.

• I've found as I get older I have to be more deliberate about doing what I consider to be 'fun' things. Life is so full of s**t you can't do anything about, so do your fun things as often as you can, whatever they may be. Prioritize them, whatever they are. Dancing, friendships, something on your creative side, maybe learn something new like a craft or an instrument or skill you've always wanted to master? Curiosity will also always make your heart lighter.

• Yes - making things is a great distraction for me. Buy an old chair and renovate it - focus your mind on whether synthetic or natural fillers are better etc. Helps take your mind off the horrors in the world.

• Calm your mind (a little), open your heart (a lot), be yourself and be kind.

• Go for joy, skip happiness

Yes, kind of what I was going for with my comment. :)

• One simple fast way to do this, and it's been proven to work chemically in your brain to promote health, is to watch videos that make you squee. Kittens, baby goats, whatever. Releases endorphins and all those other happy chemicals in your bean.

• Make the most of what you can control, make room for the joy and humour, be open to connection, embrace the sensual, and be kind to yourself. And eat chocolate.

• Nap. dance. eat chocolate. and visit friends!

• This works for me...
(see image of tweet above)


• Finding the beauty in everything.

• Don't worry about what the other bald apes think

• It has been said that the mind holds onto bad experiences with velcro and the good ones slide off like Teflon, so deliberately change this by remembering and reliving good ones and good feelings and really just put the bad ones in the f**k it trash. Gratitude practice, good friends, good books, etc.

• Try not to work with or for the wrong people (I'm being polite).

• Make art. make everything you do a way to facilitate making art.

• You know I really think that its good to do creative stuff that's not your thing - writing or making "art' can be totally painful and stressful.

• Let the creative juices flow! Be it art or music or whatever floats your boat.

• Something I’ve been aware of, but only recently am trying to make a daily practice of : is expressing gratitude. I wake up every morning and take stock of the many awesome things I am grateful for. And this even works when you feel like absolute s**t.

◦ Plus it really helps turn the ship around when your crabby with your kid. spouse, boyfriend, lover, coworker.. or whatever. :)

◦ lol. I do my 'gratitude list' (5) each morning after I park my car and do the 8 min. walk to work. Even when I forget, I remember! That's the thing about habits.....:) I'm grateful for this Fbook conversation.

• Your question is coming at a difficult time for me, Mary. That Wheel of Responsibility is helpful. Good question btw. My general approach is to be playful and grateful; to seek things that inspire wonder; to be kind, to exercise, to eat well and to be mindful. To socialize frequently and to debates issues. And to make things. That should do it.
(see Wheel of Responsibility above)

• Find the sun. Find the spot or window facing it. Cherish the moments you're in it (if it's there). When it's beaming down on you, you will want to smile.

• In my personal experience, expecting and searching for happiness causes the problem. Accepting the ups and downs, finding the happy spots in the dark patches works better for me. I also agree that practising gratitude with intention, fills me with light.

• People often mistake happiness as a destination instead of seeing it as the journey it is. Collect little moments of bliss, gratitude, awe, fun, and contentment each day and you have a happy journey. Hug trees when everyone can see you...set the example! Dance like everyone is watching, and you don't give a f**k. Stop taking the world and yourself too seriously.

• Dance.

• Mary, you love movies. Ever watch any of Henry Jaglom’s? Your question got me thinking too of Someone to Love, wherein the director invites his old friend Orson Welles ( shortly before his death) to weigh in on the subject of happiness. His response has always stuck with me:
“Oh, well happiness I don't know about. I've always been deeply suspicious of that line the Founding Fathers wished on us. "The pursuit of happiness." I'm not very much in favor of that. I think we should be full of joy whenever there's a reason to have joy. But I think happiness is not our right. It's an achievement. It's a bit of luck.”

• Try to acknowledge and appreciate it all; joy, pain, sadness, boredom, happiness, sorrow. All have their lessons, all have their purposes and moments. Acceptance of what is, is the shortest path to happiness (or even better, peace of mind) for me these days.

• I find happiness follows in all corners if I have fewer expectations - of others and of myself. And of course music, dance, and laughter are always a guarantee of happy (euphoric) moments!

• Massage. Compassionate touch .

Mary Cross - Giving or receiving?
• Actually both. Of course receiving is always nice but giving is also a form of gratitude. I always feel blessed knowing I made someone feel better. That makes me happy. So Maybe giving in general makes one happy. ❤

• For me ... giving but expressions of love and support fill me up

• We are all already living happy lives but for our thinking that we are not.

• ....and don't forget to laugh!... from Tim Minchin, Australian comedian, writer, musician. https://youtu.be/yoEezZD71sc


• So much great advise from your friends Mary. Thanks for asking such a thought provoking question. XO

• This has been a wonderful thread to read. You are all so very lovely.

It’s interesting to note that no one mentioned money or material goods or health – maybe it’s because although we all know that financial stability and good health are helpful, sometimes those things are beyond our control. Or maybe we know that those things are not enough and not even necessary to live a happy life.

To summarize: There were recommendations to do external things - dance, read books, walk in nature etc. and recommendations to do internal things – to check your expectations for happiness, or to consciously cultivate gratitude or joy. According to my FB friends, living a happy life is helped by personal reflection and conscious effort to both tame your expectations of happiness, and generate experiences that give you good feelings.

Thank you Jessie Baynham, Lynny Bee, Antonio Bertocchi, Andrew Beveridge, Nanbo Bojambo, Melanie Bowman, Glenn Boyes, Sheri Burk, Beth Cosentino, Kathleen Dube, Michael Fall, Leslie Dawn Hayes, Lesley Jack Halcro, Adam Lindsay Honsinger, Ken Hood, Julie Innes, Tom Klein Beernink, Jennifer Liefeld O'Brien, Jackie Mcchesney, Cheryl Pettifer, Lea Pihlaja, Susan Pitman, Jerry Prager, Lynn Rae, Raewyn Roberts, Judith Rosenberg, Wayne Saunders, Douglas Thorburn, Laura Ward, Camilla Willings,

With gratitude – Mary Cross

04/09/2018

I love this

12/14/2017

Video Counselling and Therapy

Video based counselling through Counselling Guelph is currently offered Monday and Thursday evenings, Wednesday days, and where time permits on days, evenings and weekends.

Is video based therapy effective?

Video based therapy has proven to be as effective as in person therapy. “Research suggests that patients report enhanced therapeutic alliance, increased self-disclosure, and decreased stigma with distance services when compared to face-to-face services.” https://www.mentalhealthcommission.ca/English/focus-areas/e-mental-health Mental Health Commission, 2014

Who might benefit from video counselling?

If you have trouble physically getting to appointments due to:
• mobility issues
• traveling time
• babysitting needs
• severe anxiety,

then video based counselling from your home might be the solution.

Video based therapy may offer more privacy for those of you who live in a small or tight knit community.

It might be the answer for those who have found that a specific focus of therapy is not available within traveling distance.

*Note: Whenever possible, clients with anxiety are encouraged to come to sessions in the office as part of their anxiety treatment. However, if you think that your anxiety will prevent you from getting to the office, and that you would not receive treatment otherwise, please send an email or call to discuss your options more fully.

*Note: Video based therapy from your home might be a good option for couples or families when one person is less eager to engage in therapy and might be put off by the formality of coming to the office. It could allow for multiple family members to come or go in a session, or to listen without having to directly engage with the counsellor.

Privacy and security

Although many people are familiar with Skype, our service uses Zoom which has an encrypted technology to ensure privacy – www.zoom.com. Video counselling though Counselling Guelph using Zoom, utilizes a split screen to communicate. The session can also be recorded and sent to you so that you can review it whenever you want. As well, documents can be sent to and from the counsellor and client and links to websites and resources can be shared.

That being said, you are responsible for ensuring that your conversation is not overheard by anyone who you do not wish to hear it and that all documents shared by your therapist and the recording of the session are kept away from anyone who you do not want to see them.

You will need:

• A laptop, desktop, tablet or mobile phone with video capability.
• To download the Zoom app ahead of time (less than 1 minute).
• A quiet, private spot in your home without distractions. Perhaps a room where you can lock the door or pick a time when you will not be disturbed.
• Ability to pay via e-transfer in a timely manner, following your appointment. A receipt will be emailed back.
• A commitment to use your session time as you would in an office appointment.

email mary@counsellinggueloh.com or call 9226)770-0336 to set up an appointment

09/20/2017

What Type Of Therapy Can I Expect?

Although I use an eclectic mix of approaches based on your individual needs, the main therapy technique that I use is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Below is a short video that gives a great explanation of CBT. The link at the end goes to a British mental health website. A similar Canadian one is https://mindyourmind.ca.

https://youtu.be/9c_Bv_FBE-c

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is one of the most common treatments for a range of mental health problems, from anxiety, depression, bipolar, OCD or sch...

04/30/2017

Below is a great video about depression produced by WHO.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc&feature=youtu.be

At its worst, depression can be a frightening, debilitating condition. Millions of people around the world live with depression. Many of these individuals an...

04/30/2017

Let's Talk About Depression

The World Health Organization (WHO) states, "Depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide”, and that “Even in high-income countries, nearly 50% of people with depression do not get treatment.” Since a fear of stigma can result in people not seeking treatment, this year’s WHO campaign aims to reduce stigma about depression by talking about it.

Link to WHO - Depression: let's talk campaign
http://www.who.int/campaigns/world-health-day/2017/handouts-depression/what-you-should-know/en/

I treat people for depression in my clinical practice. Depression can be transitory, or it can last for years. It can have a biological/chemical/hormonal origin,or it can arise from a difficult life event such as trauma, the death of a loved one, loss of a job, or loss of a significant relationship.

Whatever its origin or trajectory, it’s treatable. How each individual’s depression arose and is manifested is unique, however, there are clinically validated treatments for depression. One component of my treatment focus is education.

03/31/2017

Forgiving Ourselves


We all make mistakes and have regrets. Forgiving ourselves can help. It can free us from the pain we are holding onto, and from the negative way that we perceive our self or what we did. You deserve to forgive yourself. You deserve it because that thing that you did is in the past. That is not you now! Now you are different.

If you want to try to forgive yourself, pick a quiet time like early morning or before bed, or find a special space. Look back at yourself at that age, whether 20 years ago or last week. Hold onto that image.
Then, think about what was going on in your life at that time. What were the stresses in your life? What had just happened before? What from your past might have brought up your own pain or defenses? These things affected you.
How young were you? Did you know what you know now? No. You didn’t.

That was you then. You are different now.

Try saying this or thinking this:

I forgive myself.
I did what I did based on what was going on for me at that time.
I’m different now.
I forgive myself

Much love,
Mary

03/28/2017

Norfolk Healing Arts Centre

03/18/2017

Empathy is the capacity to put yourself in another person's shoes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy

More poetically, Empathy is "seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the "heart" of another". Empathy helps us to care for our friends, children, family, & even strangers, characters in novels & in movies.

I think the beauty of empathy is that you can nurture it, exercise it, and grow it like a muscle. Below is a lovely animation and explanation of how to practice empathy by Brené Brown.

http://brenebrown.com/about/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuin...