22/02/2026
Are you gaining weight and canât figure out why?
At 38 I was a size 6. At 44 I'm a size 14. Same diet. Same lifestyle. Same woman. My doctor shrugged and said "hormones." I spent three years believing her. Three years and 40 pounds. It wasn't hormones.
Let me tell you what those three years looked like.
At 39, I noticed my jeans were tight. Not "I ate too much this weekend" tight. "These don't fit anymore" tight. I went up a size. Figured it was temporary.
At 40, I went up another size. Then another. I started avoiding mirrors. Started wearing loose clothes. Started dreading any event that required me to look presentable.
At 41, I finally went to my doctor. Stepped on the scale and almost cried. She looked at my chart, looked at my age, and said the words I'd hear a hundred times: "This is normal for perimenopause. Your metabolism is slowing down. It happens to all of us."
So I did what you do. I tried harder.
I cut carbs. Gained weight.
I cut sugar. Gained weight.
I tried intermittent fasting. Gained weight.
I hired a trainer. Worked out 4 days a week. Gained weight.
Every Monday was a new plan. Every Friday was a new disappointment. Every month, my clothes got tighter and my hope got smaller.
My doctor's advice? "Eat less, move more." Thanks. Revolutionary. Never thought of that.
I was eating 1,400 calories a day and working out four times a week. I was doing everything right. And I was still gaining.
Do you know what that does to a person? When you're trying your absolute hardest and your body just... doesn't respond? When you're hungry all the time, exhausted all the time, and the scale keeps going up anyway?
I started to think something was seriously wrong with me. Thyroid? Normal. Blood sugar? Normal. Hormones? "A little off, but normal for your age."
Everything was "normal for your age." I was so sick of hearing that phrase.
At 42, I gave up. Not dramatically. Just quietly. Stopped weighing myself. Stopped trying new diets. Started accepting that this was just my body now. That the woman I used to be was gone and this heavier, tired, bloated version was who I'd be forever.
My husband said he didn't care. "I love you at any size." Sweet. But I cared. I missed my body. I missed my energy. I missed recognizing myself in photos.
âI gained 35 pounds in my early 40s. Every doctor blamed perimenopause. Turns out it wasn't my hormones. It was my nervous system."
It was chronic stress â the kind we don't even recognize because it's just life â puts your body in survival mode. And in survival mode, your body holds onto fat. Stores it. Refuses to let it go. Because as far as your nervous system is concerned, you might need those reserves to survive whatever threat it thinks you're facing.
It doesn't matter how little you eat. It doesn't matter how much you exercise. If your nervous system thinks you're in danger, it will override everything to keep that weight on.
The symptoms look exactly like perimenopause. Fatigue. Brain fog. Weight gain. Mood swings. Doctors see a woman over 40 with these symptoms and they say "hormones" without ever asking about stress. Without ever considering that your body might be stuck in a state it can't get out of.
Today I am down 40lbs and have my energy back đ¤
Does this resonate with you ?