Our Healing Connection

05/27/2022

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05/24/2022

01/17/2022

01/06/2022

Me encantaron estas afirmaciones y se las comparto!
Son sacadas de la red

01/02/2022

Being thankful/grateful with our partners is very important, not just for the person we are thankful towards, but also for ourselves! 💖

My husband squeezes the toothpaste out of the tube like a child. It's a strange thing. It must be a habit he never outgrew.

But I leave my coffee mugs and water glasses all over the house like a teenager.

Sometimes he spits his toothpaste on the bathroom mirror.

I also leave cupboards open.

He's really bad at folding laundry.

I leave my books and notebooks strewn about.

But after thirteen years of marriage, we understand that these things are not worth nagging the other person about. We don't need to mention them or cause a fuss. So, I clean up his toothpaste and he picks up all of my glasses and puts them in the dishwasher.

And we thank each other for the things we DO appreciate.

Like my husband locking the doors and turning off all the lights every night before bed.

Or taking out the garbage.

And he thanks me (in front of the kids, thank you) for cooking dinner or signing them up for their activities.

To be a good teammate doesn't mean perfection. It means accepting one another's flaws for what they are—humans being human.

Humans doing their best to love one another.

Humans making mistakes--daily.

Humans messing up and then cleaning up.

What I've learned in marriage is that an imperfect marriage can also be a pretty extraordinary one.

Not despite its flaws--but because of them.

For more, join Angela Anagnost-Repke, Writer.

12/15/2021

It is very important to know your limits and respect them… because not everyone will!

12/08/2021

If you or someone you know has been assaulted and is considering reporting it to the police, do it! There are supports available to you and it can help you with your healing process!

If you are still unsure and need to discuss options you can contact HRP Victim Services anonymously if you’re more comfortable in doing it that way 💖

Last Thursday I was the victim of a minor assault. I’m sharing my experience because my incredibly low expectations of our system almost kept me quiet, but my experience has actually been very affirming and I think it’s worth relaying.

While I was waiting in line at a coffee shop, a man behind me put his hand on my back and said ‘Don’t move’. He pushed my phone into my back pocket, groping my backside. I told him to get his hands off me, that he had no business touching me or any other stranger without consent. I grabbed my order and hightailed it out of there: my daughter was waiting for me in the car. The only details I remember about him are his red-rimmed eyes and the way he made me feel : vulnerable, violated, and angry as hell.

At first, I had no intentions of reporting the incident because my expectations were:
👉🏽no one would take me seriously
👉🏽I would hear phrases like ‘this stuff happens all the time’ and ‘there’s not much we can do’ 🤢
👉🏽that the assaulter would remain unknown
👉🏽people might think I was making a big deal about something minor (so many people dealing with so much worse)
👉🏽this would go to the bottom of the pile
👉🏽I had no concrete evidence or description

But with encouragement from loved ones, I decided to follow through with a report. The restaurant was packed with teenagers at the time of the incident, and part of me felt I owed it to them. I bet this guy has done this before. He will probably do it again.

Since reporting:
✅ The person at HRP who took my call thanked for me for reporting and said ‘we like to catch these guys’
✅ The officer who came to my door to take a statement was respectful, empathetic and accommodating
✅ The owner of the coffee shop was apologetic, and went through his video surveillance. He was able to confirm my experience and identify the assaulter
✅ I was contacted by a sexual assault caseworker from HRP and informed of the supports that are available to me (up to $2000 in counselling services, for instance). She gave me her cell number.
✅no one has minimized my experience
✅reporting has actually left me feeling supported, validated and empowered.

09/08/2021

You can never change the behavior of another person, so don’t even try.

You are wise when you understand that you can only change your response by not inviting some people into your circle of life.

(You have to meet people where they are. And sometimes you have to leave them there.-unknown)

08/30/2021

This 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻💖

Is My Grief Too Much for People?

Many bereaved who visit me fear they have begun to “wear out their friends” with constant tales of woe. They believe they may be boring people or over-saturating them with their gloomy dispositions. They speak of disenchanted spouses getting a “glazed-over look in their eyes” when the conversation turns yet again to the oft-told story of the loss. Sadly, these grievers come to believe they are bringing more pain to an already painful situation.

At base here, there is the concern that too much honest sharing of sorrow may push people away. Here is the chief fear: that the abundance of our grief is repulsive to healthy happy people and that we will lose more people because of our sharing---a relational domino effect that further threatens us with abandonment and loneliness.

Because of this fear, many of us who grieve make a terrible choice: we go silent. We clam up and hide our powerful emotions from the people we love the most. We do this to protect cherished friendships, to avoid becoming too heavy or too sad to be “good company” and to shield ourselves from rejection.

And so it is that a parade of lonely grievers begins marching into therapy offices and church sanctuaries and doctor’s offices across the continent, seeking someone who will not turn away from their pain. Someone who does not need us to be “on the mend.”

Much of the time, our fear of sharing is irrational or mistaken. Most spouses, partners and true friends are deeply honoured to help carry the load of our pain. Of course, many won’t know what to do, but they don’t need to do anything. They just need to see us and hear us. We need to feel less alone in our grief.

Within the context of friendship, nothing feels quite as meaningful as being trusted to bear witness to another’s vulnerability. When we help a friend in pain, we call upon the best within us to stand and love. When we share our grief, we show what is softest and neediest in us. When we allow loved-ones to be present to our recurring or inconsolable sadness, both parties enter into the wonderous mystery of caregiving; of helping and being helped, of loving and being loved, of having needs and having those needs met.

There will always be some who tire of our grief. Not everyone is capable or willing to care for our wounded souls. But many of those we love will gladly bind us, and remain by our sides as we heal; if we ask them, if we tell them what we need, if we give them the chance to suffer with us in love.

Roy Ellis MDiv CSCP
Royfellis.com
Share freely

08/26/2021

💖 🌱

A little reminder ✌🏻

04/20/2021

Your body on walking:

04/09/2021

Don’t try to be anyone else, you are unique and special just as you are💜

03/01/2021

Sometimes looking back is all you need to help you heal

01/02/2021

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Reposted from As we approach 2021. Ditch the new Year new me.

Give yourself grace. Love who you are, where you are.

If there is space to change, then go for it.

If not.

Give yourself grace

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