06/05/2024
After watching an incredible documentary called "pain brain", I have been really convicted about how we perceive danger
Heres the basis for this idea,
You can be scared of something, but that something likely has little to no logical danger
The things we perceive as scary, dangerous, etc sound off the alarms within us when triggered
We then feel an array of emotions such as fear, worry, doubt, etc
My question is this:
What if you began to challenge those feelings by looking at the outcome you're afraid of?
The documentary is rooted in this idea that most of our bodily pain is stress-induced, aka, mind-body (its backed by some serious research and testing which is SUPER groundbreaking)
When the body feels pain, you may feel scared that you're injured, that you will lose money at work, that you will miss out on things in life
But what if the pain is from stress and not an injury? (You can tell if this is the case when there's no actual trauma/impact-based injury for example)
That means the pain is not dangerous, even if it feels scary
In such a case, you would feel the throb of pain in your neck, shoulder, knee or head, however, its actually a stress response and nothing structural
This is much like the emotional rollercoaster many of you go on when you experience rejection from someone, assume what another person is thinking, fail at something you put effort into, or whatever else sends you into feelings HARD emotions
If you were able to see situations logically, it's rare that we're in actual danger. Rejected by a girl has nearly zero implications of being dangerous; Failing at something you put a lot of effort into is rarely dangerous (its actually a stepping stone to success); someone not liking you or even saying bad things about you is not dangerous...
Sure, these things may be uncomfortable and affect us emotionally, but our emotions are 99% of the time driven by PAST experiences and programming, NOT the circumstance at hand.
Thats why we must look at these things logically so we can re-condition our minds to see what is true
- rejection from a girl feels scary because of X event when I was 14, but there is likely no danger in this situation and it probably changes nothing about you
- failing at a project that took a lot of time and effort may send you into feeling hopeless because of past experiences in college, but its likely not dangerous
- Assuming someone think X about you send you into a tail spin of fear and avoidance because that's how your family dealt with conflict, however, there's likely no danger here.
What I'm getting at here is that we can FEEL something that isn't true. Much like guys who feel afraid to grow close to God, who feel shame with God, etc... Those feelings are valid because they strain from something that needs healing, however, they're NOT rooted in truth
One of the best ways to re-condition yourself is to begin telling yourself that something is NOT dangerous, even if you feel it is.
You can take few deep breathes, validate how you feel, look at the situation rationally and then separate your emotions from the situation
This is how you live courageously! This is how you surrender to God and walk out your faith.
Here are some things you may consider telling yourself to separate feelings and situations:
- "God promises to go with me wherever I go and whatever happens will be for His will or used for His good. I know I feel scared, but this situation is not dangerous, even if it goes poorly, it does not affect the direction of my life because God is in control of that"
- "My fears are driven by my past experiences and are clouding my ability to see this situation clearly. I can trust God that He wants me to honor His will and that He will take care of the rest. I may feel this way, but I am choosing to see that the situation is not dangerous because even if the worst thing I can think of happens, it doesn't change my life"
- "I don't know what the relationship would look like after I open up about this struggle and that scares me. however, right now, I have a surface relationship with this person and am tired of playing that game. If things dont go well, I may lose this person in my life, however, the way things are right now, its not like we have much anyways. I will trust God to provide for me, the relationship and future relationships because I know He cares about community"
These are some basic examples, but you can see the premise and point
Use these, tweak them and make your own
This has been a game changer for me over the years as someone who came from a very anxious household... as someone who used to be scared of everything relationally... as someone who used to deal with A TON of stress-induced body pain.
