In Loving Memory of Josiah Ryan

In Loving Memory of Josiah Ryan "If you can't see the light, be the light" My name is Karin and I am Josiah's mother. Josiah was born in Toronto on January 25, 1990. I’ll love you forever.

He grew up with plenty of giggles and practical jokes, always smiling and being such a great big brother. Of course, our family life wasn’t perfect and a big change in direction led our little family back to Hamilton, ON. Josiah struggled with the move almost immediately and it was obvious. Home life became close to being unbearable as he spiraled downward. Pleas to attend therapy for anger manage

ment were outweighed with further aggression and so I, his mother, tried to use love as therapy throughout his yet undiagnosed illness. As the years passed his mental health worsened and one day su***de became a new word in our vocabulary. A near attempt in November 2015 sent him to the Emergency room at St. Joseph’s where he was given the clear and sent on his way. He finally tried to seek therapy after that but his work schedule clashed with the early morning group therapy sessions. He refused medication but instead self-medicated. Doomed relationships saw repeated bad break-ups that sent this sensitive, beautiful being utterly reeling. The final break-up would be devastating, and Josiah took his own life, in the early hours of Father’s Day, June 18, 2017. This Page is dedicated to Josiah. I’ll like you for always.

You will always be loved 💔
05/03/2026

You will always be loved 💔

05/03/2026

BEREAVED MOTHER'S DAY 2026
Today is Bereaved Mother’s Day – a day that holds deep meaning, but also deep pain.

For many, this day is not filled with flowers or breakfast in bed, but with aching hearts and quiet reflection. It's a day for the mothers who hold their children in their hearts instead of their arms. A day that recognises the love that continues long after loss.

For many bereaved families TODAY is the day they choose to go out for lunch, light a candle, or spend time with others who understand. For others, it’s a time for solitude and self-care.

Next week – Mother’s Day – may be too overwhelming for those who have lost a child, while social media fills with smiling families and celebratory posts, many bereaved mothers are simply trying to get through the day.

To all the mothers grieving their child, in any way or at any age – we see you. We honour you. Your love, your motherhood, your grief – all of it matters.
Artist credit: Unknown via Pinterest

04/29/2026

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
Let’s keep creating awareness—because some battles are invisible. Be considerate.

02/09/2026

I’m certain, Josiah would have loved

With all that’s been happening around the globe in the past decade - last night’s halftime performance was just what the doctor ordered.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌍😇🕊️🪽🙏🏻

Happy Birthday, my darling Josiah. You would have been on this earth for 36 years today🩵 You are missed beyond belief 😔
01/25/2026

Happy Birthday, my darling Josiah. You would have been on this earth for 36 years today🩵

You are missed beyond belief 😔

01/15/2026

I want to smile again, without feeling guilty.
I want to miss you, without coming undone.
I want to celebrate your life,
without my heart breaking.

If there’s a good side of grief, I’ve yet to reach it. It’s not getting any easier. Time isn’t helping. Some days I feel as if the pain deepens.
The roads ahead seem longer without you walking them beside me.
It’s like I’m resistant to joy.
Pushing back against my own happiness.
I’m afraid that healing means forgetting,
and I’m not ready to leave.
Let me sit here for a little while longer.
There are things I needed to tell you
that I never got the chance to.
Things you deserved to hear....
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for not doing more.
If it was possible to bear your pain,
I would have.
Even when distant, my world was better because you were in it.
I was always proud of you.
My love for you is constant,
unconditional, eternal.
There are pieces of you I’m discovering in me. Little gifts you unknowingly left behind.
Even your absence is filled with moments worth revisiting.
Maybe instead of learning how to live without you, I’ll just bring the best of you with me.
Maybe we're not meant to move on,
we're meant to move with.

J. Raymond
"Best of You



👌🪢🐝🐝👌

01/15/2026
01/11/2026

People say, ‘I don’t know how you survived losing your child.’
The truth is, the person I was didn’t.

The person you were before your child died does not make it through untouched.
That version of you ends.

What happens instead is quieter, harder, and rarely acknowledged.

You become someone new.

Not by choice.
Not because you’re strong.
But because there is no other way to keep breathing.

Grieving parents don’t survive child loss.
They rebuild themselves around it.

A new nervous system.
A new way of loving.
A new relationship with time, joy, meaning, and pain.

You learn how to carry unbearable grief and still show up.
You learn how to exist in a world that kept spinning when yours stopped.
You learn how to live as someone forever changed.

So when people say, “I don’t know how you do it,”
the truth is… you don’t.

You become someone else who can.

If this resonates, don’t just scroll past it.

Leave a 🕯️ in the comments to honor the person you were before loss.
Share this so another grieving parent feels seen without having to explain themselves.
Save it for the days you forget how much you’ve already rebuilt.

You are not weak.
You are not broken.
You are becoming.

12/18/2025

“You’re only as happy as your least happy child”

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