02/04/2022
Pause...and read
Pause…
On December 19th I said to my husband “I don’t feel right, I feel like my body really hurts and I’m just really run down.” I remember a list of scenarios running through my mind…
1. Did I not get enough sleep last night?
2. Is this because I’m stressed about being ready for Christmas?
3. Am I maybe getting a bad migraine coming on?
Unfortunately, all those answers were wrong, as within a few days I tested positive for covid-19.
Delta variant.
My ego feels like I need to tell you delta variant because I keep hearing that Omicrom is no big deal, and although I’ve never had that …I can tell you that what I had, wasn’t no big deal.
I’m going to make a long story very short …
Day 1-5 - “I’m going to heal covid like a boss. Ain’t nothing gonna stop me. I got this!”
Day 6 - Oh …this is getting worse. This is not a flu. This is really bad.
Day 7 (Christmas Day) - I can’t breathe, I can’t walk. I need a hospital.
Day 8 - I don’t remember this day because I couldn’t keep myself awake long enough to.
Day 9 - Hospital - X-rays, steroids, injections, blood work, oxygen, fear.
Day 10 - It’s -45 and a respiratory doctor is outside my home at 3am telling my youngest daughter how to hook up the machine so I can try and heal at home and not in hospital because the hospital is overrun with patients. I tell the nurse I’ll only need this machine a week or so.
She says… “Since covid we’ve never removed one of these from someone’s home in under a year.”
Today = Day 47.
Still with oxygen.
Still needing naps.
Still using inhalers.
Still healing from covid pneumonia.
Still here.
When you’re alone in quarantine there is …
Time to think.
Time to reflect.
Time to mediate.
Time to talk to God.
Time to pray.
Time to look at life and ask ...” what’s going on here?”
Anything stressful or that was causing drama prior to December 19th did not matter nor did it enter my mind during this time.
In those moments you don’t think of others, you are in fact forced to only think of yourself.
Your body and spirit go into “we must heal” mode.
This pause in my life (though challenging and difficult) has allowed me to reflect on other pauses I’ve attempted to take in my life that didn’t go well.
What did I learn the most from this time?
We should pause for grief.
We should pause for physical health.
We should pause for mental health.
We should pause for celebration.
We should pause for birth.
We should pause for anything and everything that causes us to be shocked, changed or moved in some way.
Our cells and our souls need this. ❤️
But…yes, your pauses will cause delays and disruption in the lives of others.
Your pause may mean that your family won’t get breakfast every morning at 7am.
Your pause may mean that your work will have to pivot and figure things out without you.
Your pause may mean that your bank account won’t look the same.
Your pause may mean that you’ll let people down, break traditions, erupt the Karens, shock your spouse and even completely change how others see you.
But your pause will also mean that you will heal.
You will breathe.
You will grow.
You will reset.
You will re-charge.
You will transform.
And most of all …you will take care of yourself the way that you were always meant to.
You first ❤️
In these 47 days what I have realized is that for everyone who attacked, belittled, shamed, accused, and acquitted the pauses that I previously half heartedly and riddled with guilt, tried to take in my life…
Is that sometimes no matter what you say or what you do, some will be frustrated, disappointed, or pi**ed off. And you know what …that’s OK.
Never stop taking care of you to make anyone else feel better, more comfortable or to gain their approval.
Because those half assed pauses you keep trying to take may be just the thing that’s going to cause you to take a permanent pause in your life.
Where am I now?
I’d like to share more about pauses, healing, magick, energy and more with you.
I’m ready to slowly come back and the first place to start is in my live webinar series called The Magick and Spirit of Manifesting. If you want to learn, grow, connect and experience and don’t mind seeing me in my jammies sometimes … it all begins in just a few days.
Click the link below for all the details.
Carmel, xo ❤️
https://carmeljoybaird.com/product/the-magick-of-spirit-and-manifesting/
