09/12/2025
Excerpt from "Uncovering Happiness" by Elisha Goldstein:
So youâre waiting in the hallway with your mind spinning about how itâs been a pretty crappy day and life just doesnât seem to be moving in the direction youâd like it to. Your friend walks by you and although you raise your hand to wave hi, she looks at you and just walks by.
Take a moment to sense what happened in your mind before reading any further.
Various thoughts may have arisen in connection with uncomfortable emotions:
⢠âWhat did I do wrong?â
⢠âIâm worthless.â
⢠âI knew it, nobody likes me.â
⢠âWhat the hell is wrong with her?â
⢠âWhatâs the point, really.â
OKâŚnow letâs say your boss just told you what a fantastic job youâve done and how sheâs going to give you a 15% raise and an extra week vacation. This is great newsâŚas your mind is spinning around all the ways this will enhance your life, your friend walks by and as you raise your hand to say hi, she just walks by.
Now what comes up in your mind?
Many people might have an alternative viewpoint here.
⢠âI wonder whatâs wrong with her.â
⢠âI hope sheâs ok.â
⢠âMaybe she didnât see me.â
The bottom line: Thoughts simply arenât facts, they are mental stories that pop up in the emotional mind.
đŠâđŹObserve your thoughts:
Notice your thoughts with curiosity, rather than judgment, and don't get caught up in them.
đ§ââď¸Question their accuracy:
Ask yourself if the thought is actually true. Challenge the story your brain is telling itself about an event.
đŠâđCreate distance (Diffusion):
See your thoughts as just thoughts, like a tape running in your head, rather than as reality itself.
đľď¸ââď¸Focus on facts:
Separate what actually happened (the fact) from the thoughts and interpretations that accompany it.
đŠââď¸Look for alternative explanations:
Consider other reasons or motivations that could explain a situation, rather than automatically assuming the most negative one.
Mindful.org poster by Elisha Goldstein.
