Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW Help for parenting, family life, relationships and individual issues: www.yoursocialworker.com, He/Him All services are provided using ZOOM.

Working from my home in Keswick, Ontario, I provide a range of counseling and conflict resolution (peacemaking) services to support people and their relationships.

04/13/2026

Today is by-election day in Canada.

Three ridings are up for grabs.

Historically by-elections have low voter turnout.

However, this is a time in history when we need to send a message. There is no room for hate and negativity.

If you are in any of the three riding (Terrebonne, Scarborough Southwest, and University—Rosedale), please vote.

It's time to send the current conservative party and PP packing.

Hungary did it with a record turnout.

Hopefully, us too.

ABC: Anyone But Conservative.

04/13/2026

Trigger warning. This post discusses abuse.

---

I have sat with people and asked about hitting, pushing, thrown and broken objects, being hit with objects such as cords and/or hangers, paddles and belts, being choked.

They told me of these experiences.

Of those many didn't realized they had been abused.

This was just their normal. Abuse to them was then considered something worse than they had experienced.

Some got it immediately. Others needed time to process the information.

Also for some, it set a point in their parenting that said anything less than what they experienced is OK. However, many were by definition abusive themselves.

When your comparible is extreme, mere bad can look good.

I had to explain that the set point was too high.

No yelling, screaming or name calling. No hitting, breaking or throwing things. Not even threatening.

Again, most got it quickly. Others had to process the information.

Abuse. It may have been normalized by one's growing up experiences such that it isn't recognized or such that one can still be abusive although just under what one was subject to themselves.

Perspective. It is remarkable how skewed it can be.

04/13/2026

A six year old hits another child. The question is why and what should be done about it?

If the child has ADHD, the child may have simply been impulsive. The child needs help with impulse control, not punishment.

If the child is anxious, something may have triggered their anxiety. The child needs help to manage the triggers anxiety sets off, not punishment.

If the child is using a power and control strategy as a means to get their way then the child didn't think about the impact of behavior on the other child. The child needs help to develop empathy, not punishment.

Punishment does not teach impulse control, how to manage anxiety or develop empathy.

Indeed, punishment in the absence of teaching usually makes all those issues worse and with that, hitting would likely continue. As well, the child would develop resentment towards the person doling out the punishment.

To truly correct misbehavior, it is important to understand what drives it so the appropriate teaching can be applied and learned.

Regardless, an apology is still appropriate to help restore relationships and make amends.

04/13/2026

The scarcity mindset.

It's grown on fear. It's developed by being made to believe there isn't enough to go around.

Then, it blames those who may need support.

The support is their proof that others are getting things unfairly and that if they weren't, then there would be enough for the rest.

This strategy focuses those with the scarcity mindset on driving those who require support, out.

It distracts them from the true source of any scarcity there may indeed be: greed by those who manipulate politics for greater personal gain.

They are so focused on perceived injustice and imbalance among those requiring support that they are remarkably blinded by the greed of others and instead prodded on by the greedy taunts and their projections of blame.

They do their bidding. The greedy laugh and carry on.

Oh to pull back the veil and reveal the manipulations.

We who see past the manipulations, who recognize the greed, we are not your enemies.

We include you in our thoughts and actions for greater accountability and equity.

We seek not to divide but unite.

And in our unity, we seek to share so all may prosper or at the very least manage the vagaries of life with dignity.

Hungarys right wing president is ousted... loses in today's election.This is good news for the world.Maybe the world is ...
04/12/2026

Hungarys right wing president is ousted... loses in today's election.

This is good news for the world.

Maybe the world is correcting itself.

This will put Trump and the Maga crowd on notice. We don't want far right austerity and hate.

Even here in Canada it is a message to provincial conservative governments as well as PP.

No more strongmen. No more empowering the rich at the expense of the poor.

Yes, what happens in Europe makes waves here.

This represents a tsunami.

04/12/2026

Here's a thought, invest in education and healthcare.

Have the smartest and healthiest population possible.

Then, provide a living wage and supports for those who cannot help themselves.

With that we would have an amazing capable workforce of people not first concentrating on mere existence, but happy, healthy and able to contribute to society.

04/12/2026

Welcome new followers.

Please note that I strive to keep my page a safe space.

That means no nasty comments, no put downs, no misinformation or false information.

I do not hesitate to delete and/or block those whose posts I deem innapropriate. I do not discuss this, I just follow through. (It is my page. I am the only administrator/moderator.)

Please also note that I am a woke left leaning retired social worker.

Yep. Woke.

I value inclusion as well as diversity and equity.

I do post about mental health, relationships, parenting and political matters that affect people, particularly those who are often disenfranchised and discriminated against. Periodically I post about meals I prepare, my dog, and whatever else I may fancy.

Those who choose to follow tend to be reasonable as well as supportive of others.

Comments that provide support and resources are quite welcomed but I do ask that people do not use my page for self promotion or to promote services, supplements or strategies that are not medically accepted.

Thanks for following and please remember, following is a choice.

If my content or approach to managing my page isn't for you, then please unfollow. It will not offend me.

I am happy to have a smaller number of like-minded folks than those for whom my page doesn't fit.

I trust this all makes sense.

For those who continue to follow, I hope you find my page of service.

04/12/2026

Aren't I great.

I could have bombed you to oblivion but I didn't. Now you owe me.

That is basically the negotiating approach of Trump.

It's not negotiating. It's hostage taking and dangling freedom for doing one's bidding.

If people appear to comply, it's done under duress and the soonest opportunity to undo the expectation so they shall do.

In a true negotiation, people seek to understand needs and wants. Whereever possible those are accommodated. If they cannot be accommodated, then compensation may be discussed.

In the end, both parties freely agree on the terms of the negotiated settlement. Because of agreement, there is a greater likelihood of follow through. That creates compliance with the agreement.

Where trust is thin, check ins can be part of the agreement assuring compliance.

Obama's administration had developed such an agreement with Iran. It was working contrary to many misinformation posts on social media.

Trump didn't like anything Obama achieved and so he terminated a working agreement and created the mess seen today by treating Iran as hostages.

Iran is a rogue and dangerous regime. They do need to be reined in since Trump killed the previous agreement. He is dealing with a mess of his own making. Such is Trump.

If peace is restored and it likely will be, it will also be more fragile.

This will not earn Trump a legitimate peace prize.

04/12/2026

Take a moment as you rise, as you start your day.

Consider a time where you felt safe, warm, cared for.

Take that moment into your day.

Act in such a way so as to cause another to feel similarly.

I can appreciate that life may be scary. Fretting can interfere with managing though.

Taking that feeling of safety, warmth and care can help provide a calming response to manage from a better place, a place where judgement and planning may be more thoughtful, more purposeful.

Consider a time where you felt safe, warm, cared for.

Take that feeling with you.

It's a superpower.

04/11/2026

Show love.
Love unspoken may be love questioned and cause uncertainty.
Show love. Let them know.

04/11/2026

Can the rollback of teacher education requirements be good or at least neutral? Some think so. I am not amongst them.

Those arguments include the inarguable fact that the practice experience holds more importance and that in the past, only one year of academic intruction was required.

There is no question that strengthening the practice requirement will likely enable better equipped teachers.

But what of the academic rollback?

Their thinking in support of the rollback precludes the fact that teaching occurs in a far more complex environment these days. Indeed the world of today differs considerably from when most arguing in favor of the rollback were beginning their careers.

Today's learning environment is more complex given the far greater diversity of needs in any one classroom. That diversity includes neurodifferences, social differences, economic differences and not to mentions the differences on the tugs of morals, values and ethics.

Then there are also the differences the result of electronics and AI.

Many a novice teacher, and remember, they are not coming to today's job with the experience of those now leaving, will face a world unlike that which was faced by those before them when entering the profession.

Arguing to make the academic requirements less is like arguing that doctors too don't need to learn more given the advancement of medicine and the environmentin which it is practiced.

Given the firings and retirements due to burnout and job stress, there will be fewer mentors for the novice teacher. They will need greater preparation, understanding of the world in which they operate and how to manage the new complexities and binds they will inevitably face on top of the administrative requirements.

Remember, this is a government that overall is gutting programs, services and supports for learners across the educational spectrum including post secondary. This government doesn't truly value education. It is similar to other conservative governments that way.

There current changes are less about improvements than exploitation of a more readily available workforce required to supplant those fired and leaving.

Our future teachers will need more instruction not less to manage and thrive in a setting now designed to fail.

Just wait... I think I hear the call for privatization.

It won't be called that. It will have a fancy title.

The fancy title will be to cover the sound of the other shoe dropping.

Lastly, just to mention, this government loves an argument over the changes to education requirements.

It's a nice diversion from the mess of their chronic underfunding creating the conditions they are running to solve.

Call me a conspiracy theorist.

I think I have learned when not to trust something dressed up to look good when pulling back the curtain reveals other intentions.

We can't live in the past.

Address

Keswick, ON

Telephone

+19056284847

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category

Our Story

Hi folks. I work from my home in Keswick, Ontario. People can see me in person or through video conferencing worldwide. I provide a range of counseling and conflict resolution (peacemaking) services to support people, families, relationships and children. Need help? Please see my services and fees on my website: www.yoursocialworker.com