Out of the Fog Counselling and Adoption Services

05/04/2025

🌌 May the Fourth Be With You: What Star Wars Can Teach Us About Adoption

Today’s a day for Star Wars fans to celebrate “May the Fourth”—but did you know it’s also an adoption story?

Luke and Leia, twin siblings separated at birth, raised apart, unaware of each other and their true parentage. Many fans don’t realize this until someone points it out. But when viewed through the lens of adoption, Star Wars reflects some outdated ideas:
That to “protect” a child we must separate them from their siblings and origin story.
That they’ll be “fine” once they’re grown and learn the truth.

But modern adoption practice—and lived experience—shows us something different. Sibling connections are essential. They help adoptees understand who they are and where they come from. And truth-telling, when done with trauma-informed care, is not harmful—it’s healing.

In my research, The Untended Garden (2020), Adoptees shared how they longed to have their sibling bonds and honest storytelling could have helped them grow stronger identities. That’s echoed across Canada, in reports like We Have Something to Say (Ontario Advocate, 2012) and the Canadian Child Welfare Research Portal’s work on sibling permanence.

Because when children grow up with their story intact, they don’t have to “escape to another planet” to discover who they are.
This May the Fourth, let’s celebrate not just with light sabers—but with reflection. And let’s continue working toward a world where adoption honours truth, connection, and the whole child.

✨ May the Force—and trauma-informed care—be with you.



Credit: Dawn Tracz

04/23/2025

Before embarking on the adoption journey, couples often invest significant time and effort in preparing for the arrival of their children. Yet, it’s crucial to ask: how often do they invest in preparing their relationship for the unique dynamics adoption brings? FREE opportunity.

Learn practical guidance on how couples can build stronger, more supportive relationships along the adoption journey.

06/22/2024

This is a great read or listen. Its not only about cleaning and organizing, but the importance of rest and letting things go. There is a “choose your own adventure” aspect perfect for the neurodivergent folks out there who struggle to get through an entire book.

09/25/2023

https://www.thefogcounselling.com/

Hi All. I'd love some feedback on my new website. Could you take a look and let me know what you think?

Out of the Fog Counselling and Adoption Services Convenient Online Counselling & Adoption Services for Ontario Clients AboutThe term “Out of the Fog” refers to adoptees coming to terms with feelings and realizations about adoption and their adoption experience. It is a slowly evolving awareness ...

09/03/2023

Now accepting new patients for virtual counselling services. Go to my website for contact information!

09/02/2023

Who else didn’t realize they needed this moment of mindfulness created by ?

Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens. Mindfulness also involves acceptance, meaning that we pay attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them.

Mindfulness doesn't have to take an hour to complete. It can literally be something you do while scrolling.

08/27/2023

Keeping it awkward. 
 
Please don't make eye contact when you compliment me. It makes it harder for me to dismiss your compliment. 
 

08/18/2023

This term needs to be put to rest. Being "put up for adoption" stems from the 1800's! Urbanization, immigration, and poverty led to large populations of children living in the streets. Ministers, social workers, and charitable organizations gathered the children up and sent them, via train, to rural areas to work on farms.

When they arrived, the children were PUT UP on platforms so local farmers could size them up and take them home. The transportation system soon became known as the "Orphan Trains."

The thought process was that these children would be taken in by farm families to work and in turn, they would experience family living. Spoiler Alert: Most of these children were worked hard and not treated like family, often being abandoned at the age of 16 or when they became ill/injured and could no longer work.

Today's more politically correct terms are "placed for adoption" or "plan for adoption."

08/13/2023

Have you ever had someone tell you your too negative and you need to be more positive?

You're may not be a negative person! Having anxiety can make you jump to the worst-case scenarios because anxiety hates uncertainty and feeling out of control. It somehow feels safer to assume the worst than not know what could possibly happen.

We can challenge these anxious thoughts together without the toxic positivity of "good vibes only" thinking.

07/29/2023

My mental health has been showing its ugly face again lately. I was anxious about delivering some tough news to a patient. I'm excited but nervous to see a family member I haven't seen since COVID began. Some patient's stories about estranged family are triggering me. 
 
I had every excuse not to go for a forest walk today. I didn’t have my running shoes, it was hot, it was humid, I didn’t want to be sweaty for my next appointment. Going could make me late for my next appointment. I hate outside in the summer. The list went on and on. 
 
I told myself just 15 minutes. No expectations for pace or distance, just walk. I ended up walking for 30 min even in my dressy sandals. I went into my next appointment more focused, compassionate, and ready to listen. I didn't need fancy running shoes, workout clothes, or an expensive water bottle. I NEEDED to walkand ground myself again. Don't underestimate the power of gentle exercise in nature on your overall well-being.  
 

07/19/2023

Pretty excited for this learning opportunity for this underserved population.

07/14/2023

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