Leanne Sawchuk, Psychotherapy & Counselling Services

04/02/2025

What (or who) are you avoiding right now? And what story is running in the background about why you're avoiding it/them?

Maybe it’s the story that…
✨ If you share your needs or feelings, you’ll be seen as too much or rejected.
✨ They won’t be able to hold space for you in the way you need.
✨ If you let yourself get too close, you’ll only end up getting hurt.
✨ Conflict has never been safe for you, so it’s better to stay silent.
✨ You don’t trust yourself to navigate the discomfort, so avoidance feels like the safer option.

Do any of these resonate?

When we avoid something (or someone), it’s not always *only about the situation itself, but the meaning we’ve attached to it. Sometimes it’s about the old wounds it touches, the patterns we’ve lived through, and the fears we’ve learned to believe as truth.

But here’s the thing: Not all of your stories are true.

Many are rooted in past experiences, not present reality. Many were formed to keep you safe, not to help you grow.

So ask yourself:
💭 What story am I telling myself about me?
💭 What story am I telling myself about them?
💭 And what would it mean if that story wasn’t true?

Sometimes, we fear our story being confirmed—that if we reach out, we will be rejected.

Other times, we fear our story being denied—because if it turns out we were wrong all along, then what?

Growth happens in the space between fear and curiosity. Healing begins when we question the stories that have shaped us and gently ask ourselves: Is this still serving me?

With you in this,
💛 Leanne

03/20/2025

To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go. - Mary Oliver

03/19/2025

And as a therapist, I listen to all of them.

Some stories are told with words.

They're spoken out loud, with detail and clarity — the ones clients have rehearsed in their heads before entering into a session with me. Stories filled with facts, explanations, reasons. Sometimes fast, like they need to get it all out before it’s too late. Sometimes slow, deliberate, testing the waters to see if they’ll be met with understanding and attunement.

But not all stories come that way.

Some stories are told through silence.
The quiet that lingers after a sentence trails off. The pause after a big inhale, where something important hovers but doesn’t quite land. The heavy quiet that says, I don’t know how to put this into words yet… or if I even can.

And then there’s the story in the space between words.

The way someone looks away mid-sentence. The half-smile that doesn’t quite reach their eyes. The shift in tone, the clenched hands, the moments they change the subject. It’s in the things they didn’t plan to say — but do, almost accidentally. Or the things they leave out entirely, hoping maybe I’ll catch it anyway.

I don't just listen to the words people bring, but also the silences and the spaces between.

Because all of it matters.
All of it is the story.

And the truth is, we all carry parts of our stories like this. Some loud, some quiet, some barely spoken even to ourselves.

It’s okay if yours doesn’t have neat language yet.
It’s okay if it slips out sideways, in a pause, in a breath, in a look.

I’m listening 💛

09/27/2024

I currently have 2 spots left for the 8-Week Psychotherapy Support Group, which will start on Tuesday, October1st and end on Tuesday, December 3rd. This process group is an opportunity for individuals to deepen their self-awareness, confront the stories and beliefs that are keeping them stuck, explore some of the shadows they have been avoiding, heal relational wounds, and connect with others who are on their own healing journeys.

If you know of anyone who you feel this may benefit, please send this along.

For more information about the group or to register, go to this link:
https://leannesawchuk.podia.com/psychotherapy-supportive-process-group

Group Details:
Start Date: Tuesday, October 1st
Time: Tuesday's, 7-9 PM
End Date: Tuesday, December 3rd (*the group will not meet on November 5th and 19th)
Investment: $575 or 2 payments of $287.50 (covered under most insurance plans—a receipt will be provided for you to submit for reimbursement)
Location: 276 Frederick Street, Kitchener ON
Total Participants: 6-10

An 8-week support group that will help you confront the stories that keep you stuck, explore the shadows you’ve been avoiding, and experience the powerful, healing impact of being witnessed by others who are committed to doing the same. This is an invitation to reclaim your voice, reconnect with y...

09/18/2024

Do you ever look at a photo of yourself and see more than just your reflection? Maybe you see and feel beyond what was actually captured? I look at this picture and see myself—not like you do in a mirror, but in that deep recognition of a feeling you can’t quite name. I see myself standing against that vibrant blue wall, caught mid-thought, somewhere between what was and what might be. That blue wall mirrors my inner landscape—vivid, intense, yet holding so much unseen. There’s calmness in my stance, but also quiet resistance, like I’m trying to make sense of something.

There’s rawness in this moment—no performance. Just me, mid-step, mid-thought, mid-becoming, embracing the mess and the uncertainty.

I think of the moments that led me here—the choices, the hesitations, the leaps, and the falls. I think of the dark nights spent awake, buried under doubt and fear. I think of the times I felt found, and all the times I felt utterly lost. But maybe the spaces in-between, where everything felt uncertain, are where I learned the most.

Like so many of you reading this, I spent so long believing I had to keep moving, keep achieving, as if my worth was tied to what I accomplished. But here, in this stillness, I see something different. I see someone who is enough, even without the constant push.

If I knew then what I know now, would I have done anything different? Would I have chosen a different path, knowing what I have come to face? Honestly, probably not. Time is all we have, and we don’t. It slips away even as we try to hold onto it. If I knew then what I know now, maybe all I would have done differently is lingered a little longer.

In the end, it’s not about changing the past - because we can't. It’s about asking "what do I do with what I know now?" How do I carry this forward?

Maybe the answer is simple: you keep going.
and you keep going.
and you keep going until you don't. 💙🩵

09/12/2024

(quote written by )

It might sound too simple to say that curiosity is the antidote to boredom. Yet, if it's something you experience more often than you'd like, you know how real and frustrating it can be. Boredom often masks something deeper, like anxiety, being stuck in freeze, or unresolved discomfort. It’s not just about feeling uninterested—it’s a sign that there might be something lurking beneath the surface that we’re avoiding.

Curiosity, in its most raw and honest form, is about engaging with the world around - and within - us in a way that’s genuine and exploratory. Instead of filling the void with superficial distractions or mindless activities, curiosity invites us to dive deeper into our experiences and emotions. It’s about turning the feeling of boredom into an opportunity for discovery and growth.

💭When boredom strikes, use it as an opportunity to ask yourself tough questions about what’s happening around you and within you. What have you been avoiding? Why do you feel stuck? What is happening within you? Facing these questions head-on can help uncover any underlying anxieties or unresolved feelings that contribute to your sense of boredom.

💭Use curiosity to look inward and ask yourself what truly matters to you that you might be avoiding. This kind of self-reflection can reveal if your boredom is masking deeper fears or anxieties. It’s about being brutally honest with yourself and addressing what’s truly going on.

💭Take a step back and observe your surroundings. What details have you missed? Sometimes, paying close attention can ground you and help shift your focus from the cycle of boredom and anxiety.

💭And sometimes, we need to allow ourselves to simpy be and feel bored. Period.

Curiosity isn’t just a way to alleviate boredom—it’s a tool for confronting the raw, messy aspects of our lives. Tuning into curiosity means turning towards instead of away. It’s about being vulnerable and not shying away from what lies beneath the surface. So, next time you feel that pang of boredom, let it be an invitation to dig deeper. Who knows what you might find..🖤

09/11/2024

Follow me for more relationship advice 🙄🖤😀

09/10/2024

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the ways we may trick ourselves into believing we are healing when, deep down, we might actually be avoiding.

Sometimes, we distract ourselves—constantly. Filling our days with tasks, being consumed by work, or binge-watching shows because we need to escape whatever it is we don't want to feel.

And then there's the toxic positivity—the “look on the bright side” mentality—which may seem easier than dealing with the sadness, the anger, the fear. We pretend. We perform. We do whatever we can to not feel by putting a positive slogan on it.

We minimize our feelings by saying, "it’s not a big deal,” or “others have it worse.” We dismiss our pain because somewhere along the way, we learned that our feelings weren’t as valid, that they didn’t matter as much. But they do.

We overanalyze and intellectualize our emotions by getting stuck in our heads, picking apart every feeling, every thought, trying to figure out the “why” behind everything.

At times, we project onto others. We may blame them for things that are actually about ourselves—the stuff we may not want to face.

We try so hard to be “good enough” for everyone else, trying to prove our worth through achievements or making others happy. It’s a distraction, a way to avoid the deep wounds buried within.

We avoid the hard conversations and setting boundaries because we don’t want to upset anyone. We tell ourselves it’s keeping the peace, but really, it’s more about not wanting to deal with the conflict, the discomfort, the potential fallout.

Sometimes, we avoid what’s real, what’s raw, what’s true.

And sometimes, we get tired of doing this. Tired of pretending. Tired of running. Tired of hiding. Tired of merely existing.

Sometimes we get so tired that we choose something different. We become more conscious and aware in our relationships and how we are showing up for ourselves. We choose to have the hard conversations, to set the boundaries, to own our stuff, and to put an end to the fake healing. We choose to face ourselves fully and to truly heal. 🖤

09/09/2024

We find our way back to ourselves in waves — that is how the ocean loves 🌊🖤

09/07/2024

Alright, let’s chat about audacity. It’s a powerful trait, but maybe it’s time for a little rethinking and dialing it back just a smidge.

Perhaps less of the audacity that is demanding, unconscious, and inconsiderate, and more of the audacity that involves genuinely being kind or respectfully disagreeing without causing so much emotional harm.

Audacity without self-awareness and accountability can be dangerously blinding. When we let our boldness run unchecked, we risk causing harm to others and ourselves. Too much audacity, when divorced from empathy and responsibility, isn’t just harmful—it can negatively impact others and create unnecessary conflict.

Instead of letting audacity drive us to bulldoze boundaries without a second thought, let’s use it to genuinely connect with others, listen to understand, and own up to our mistakes with a touch of humility.

I’m currently imagining a world where audacity isn’t about being a one-person circus act but about having the courage to be decent, to listen, and to maybe, just maybe, apologize when you’ve accidentally elbowed someone in the metaphorical ribs.

A world where our audacity is guided by responsibility.

A world where we can be bold and fearless, but in a way that enriches our relationships instead of wounding or harming them.

Imagine that?

In the meantime, perhaps a little less audacity and a little more human decency.✌️

09/06/2024

Something I've been working on in my own therapy is exploring where avoidance shows up in my life. We all have things we dodge — a difficult conversation, a decision, or an emotion we’d rather not feel. 🩷🖤

It’s funny (but not actually) how the things we avoid have a way of growing bigger in our minds, taking up space and energy, even when we’re not consciously thinking about them. It's also funny (but not actually) how acknowledging and naming what we are avoiding can become a turning point.

Often, we realize that it isn’t the task, conversation, or decision itself we’re avoiding, but the uncertain outcomes, the vulnerability, and the many emotions we may need to feel and face.

Okay, so now what?

Well, when you think about what you are avoiding, what is the very first step you need to take to start turning toward it, rather than away? If there’s a difficult conversation you need to have, what might be the first thing you need to do to get closer to having it? Perhaps start by writing down everything you want to say, or clarify what you hope to gain from the conversation. Maybe you make a list of all the things you fear might happen and explore them further with your therapist. Or, perhaps you notice what your body does when you're avoiding something — do you go into freeze, flight, fawn, or fight mode? Maybe these are starting points...

What I've learned is that we don’t suddenly become fearless and face what we've been avoiding with perfect ease. Instead, we give ourselves permission to sit with discomfort, acknowledge the fear, and take one small step forward. To be honest, it feels messy and uncertain — but also surprisingly freeing.

So, I’m trying to embrace the messiness of it all. To be kinder to myself as I figure it out. To be more curious and less judgmental. To remind myself that turning toward what I’ve been avoiding isn’t about conquering it in one bold move, but about choosing, moment by moment, not to run away.

And I wonder, what about you?

What’s one thing you’ve been avoiding that you want to turn toward, even if it feels scary? You don’t need to have all the answers. Just start with naming it. Would love to hear from you 👇

09/04/2024

"I am not what you think I am. You are what you think I am."
— Buddha

Sometimes, the way others perceive us has more to do with their own projections, experiences, fears, and biases than with who we actually are. Their opinions are like distorted mirrors reflecting back their inner worlds.

🖤 How often do we twist and contort ourselves to fit these distorted reflections, seeking validation or approval from those who may never see us clearly—or, worse, may never see themselves?
🖤 How often do we waste energy trying to reshape, defend, or abandon ourselves in the hopes of earning some fleeting moment of approval?
🖤 How often do we sacrifice our authenticity to meet someone else's expectations?
🖤 How often do we silence our own voice to avoid conflict, or play small to make others feel more comfortable?

It’s exhausting—but there is always room to choose something different.

As you have heard me say many times, being human means being flawed. If people need you to be a certain way in order to merely tolerate you, let alone respect you, then let them go. While it might not seem like it right now, there is a lightness in putting an end to the relentless loop of trying to convince others of your worth, your goodness, and your intentions. It’s a powerful act of reclaiming your energy, your narrative, and, most importantly, yourself.

I know for me, I have been doing a lot of unlearning and re-learning over the years.

🩷 Learning to sit comfortably in my own skin, to embrace the messy, complicated, and beautiful reality of who I am.
🩷 Learning to stop trying to make up for how others feel about me, simply because I exist. This has nothing to do with me.
🩷 Learning to stop explaining myself, to stop justifying who I am, or what I do.
🩷 Learning to trust that the people who are meant to see me, truly see me, without me having to bend or break to fit their mold, will stay.

When we find ourselves in a space where we are no longer seeking to be who others think we should be, we get even closer to fully owning who we really are and who we choose to be: the messy, the flawed, and the fiercely beautiful beings that we are!