01/11/2026
Sunday Self-Reflection: Just back from our collective pause retreat in Costa Rica and this reflection below and throughout this post could not speak any louder. Sometimes the best awakening is through the lived experiences and stories of others.
What reflection towards Self does this bring you too, today? đđđž!
Repost from
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For years, I thought I was choosing my reactions in my marriage.
I wasnât.
Every time I felt dismissed, disrespected, or unloved, it wasnât the adult me who showed up. It was the traumatized little boy inside me, still trying to survive the way he once had to.
My Wounded Child was getting triggered, and my Adaptive Child (the part of me that learned to cope as an unskilled but determined eight-year-old) was grabbing the wheel.
These days, when that younger part of me kicks up, I do something different.
In my mindâs eye, I pull little Terry close. I show him compassion and reassure him that Iâm here now. He no longer belongs in the driverâs seat.
Thatâs the essence of reparenting: Love the child inside you, soothe and protect them, and then gently take their sticky hands off the steering wheel.
Today, you are capable of far more skill and conscious decision-making than that young, hurt, reactive child within you.
It means saying goodbye to your parentsâ patterns and giving yourself what you never received but always needed â unconditional love, firm limits, and loving guidance.
This is how generational patterns end, and healing begins.