Cocoa Bird Doula Services

10/16/2025

After loss, pregnancy is different. A mix of instant joy and a fear you can feel through your bones.
The waiting stretches longer. 3 weeks 6 days pregnant. Only 36 more weeks to go. Download 3 apps, join all of the groups. Every woman feeling just as uncertain as I am. A tiny inconspicuous community.
The silence between heartbeats feels heavier.
The scans come often yet never quite enough.
The unknowns loom larger,
and the hopes feel more fragile.
Try to remember this is a marathon, not a sprint.
How do I try to put something out of my mind that is literally growing inside of me by the minute?

But then; a flutter. A “did I really just feel that?”
Then each kick, a reminder I’m not alone. A reassurance in fact. I push on my stomach to feel one more.
Each heartbeat, music to my ears would be an understatement. More like a symphony. I catch myself counting along with the doctor.
He smiles with his eyes and assures me this number is normal.

Because I know loss I know that I am endlessly blessed to have brought two beautiful boys safely earthside.
In them, I see God’s faithfulness,
the reminder that He never leaves
what He has begun unfinished.

But still, there’s an ache followed by me wondering,
Were you my little girl?
Or my third sweet boy —
a baby I carried only for a moment,
but hold within my heart forever.

What a gift,
to be chosen as your Mama,
even if only for a little while.
Lucky me.
I am changed, simply because I knew you. I have imagined you since the day you left me.
Until we meet again.

💗💙🥰

10/16/2025

06/29/2025

Ellis 💫 🙏💙 you are a gift 💝 I am overwhelmed with joy, love and gratitude. If you need me I’ll be in my postpartum bubble soaking in every newborn scrunch and snuggle🤗🥰

04/22/2025

32 weeks 🦋✨

I am accepting the changes in my body with grace.

I am embracing the shifts in all my relationships.

I can be impatient during this pregnancy, but still remain thankful for it.

I am excited, afraid, courageous AND I am confident in my abilities as a mother of two.

I am surrendering control to the universe for how my baby enters the world.

I am focused on moving, fueling, and resting my body each day.

Most importantly, I am deeply blessed and honoured to experience another full term pregnancy.

I am eager to meet you earth side my sweet baby, whomever you are, I love you already.

💚💚💚💚💚

01/30/2025

Things I’ve learned in my first 21 weeks of pregnancy 🤰🏻 ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Firstly, we got excellent news of a healthy and normal anatomy scan and we are so truly blessed that God continues to answer our prayers for a healthy baby.

My intentions and priorities are so much different this time around.

This five year age gap will be what saves me in the early newborn days. But, I can’t help but wonder how close my children would be if I had the support to have my children closer together. I know there’s a reason for everything and his excitement is so palpable for his new sibling.

I feel myself rushing through this pregnancy, wanting to reach the final point and not necessarily enjoying the journey as I wanted to at the beginning. Knowing this is most likely our final pregnancy and child, my goal is to lean more into this pregnancy and appreciate it for all it is.

Your second pregnancy is different overall. Although symptoms and body changes may seem very similar, the outside perspective for your second child is so different. I don’t check my baby apps nearly as much, I don’t take pictures of my belly other than twice 🫠 as opposed to every week with my first. I’m much more conscious of what I entertain and what my mind, body and soul takes in. I have hardly shopped or spent any money on this child because I feel while it’s exciting it’s not where my focus is. I feel my sole purpose with this pregnancy is to be as healthy as possible mentally and physically.

I am not micro focused on my due date. A huge shift from my pregnancy with Reese. Due on Valentine’s Day, I was desperate to have him that day I thought that would be the most special day to have my first baby. When that day came and went and I reached 40 weeks of pregnancy without going into labor I was devastated. Then as 41 weeks arrived I was so depressed and I believe it forced me to choose induction, which I ultimately regret often. I’ve learned any day my baby is born is the most special day.

And finally, nothing is as magical as when your first born feels their new baby siblings little kicks for the first time🦶👶🏼 🥰

01/02/2025

I mean this wholeheartedly when I say this…
If you’re getting married, make sure you’ve got yourself a supportive husband!

Specifically the one who won’t make fun of you or call you crazy for sending him pregnancy tests every 12-24 hours on the dot for three weeks to make sure the line is getting darker. The one who cheers on every single test you send 👏 👏 👏
My guy, who knows that testing twice a day was the only way to channel the anxiety I was having.

Find that guy! 🥰🥹👏

01/02/2025

2024 ➡️ you were so good to us 💒👰🏻‍♀️👶🏼🥰

Here’s what I’ve experienced in my first 17 weeks of my third pregnancy🤰🏻:

Ain’t no pregnancy the same, but they can be pretty darn close lol

I forgot how debilitating the waiting game is before your first scan. Being heavily in tune with your body has its downfalls 🫠 I was certain I was pregnant from conception each time I’ve gotten pregnant, and I’ve never been wrong. So that 7 week wait until we were blessed with a strong heartbeat nearly took me out.

After the reassurance of my first scan, I knew only way I could make it through the anticipation and fear of the first trimester was putting my entire pregnancy in Gods hands. I knew I wanted to soak in these early moments and not let the fear of losing it all over-take me. I knew I wanted to keep this pregnancy close to my husband and I only until it felt safe and right to share with our son first. Pregnancy after loss often feels like “don’t get too excited. don’t say anything yet” I guess I certainly felt this way for a while. Once I continued praying for the health of our baby, I certainly felt a relief, a weight lifted, like there was a peace instilled in me to let me know that everything was going to be okay.

Sure enough by our second scan, there they were, growing and wiggling around, healthy and a big change from my pregnancy with my son… I’m low risk 👏 👏 👏 with my son I had 12 ultrasounds which ended in an emergency cesarean. To say I’m relieved is an understatement.

Now as we close in on my 20 week anatomy scan, I know it is in the best interest of my family and my mental health to continue praying for our baby. We are fully immersing ourselves in the magic and blessing of pregnancy and have decided not to find out the gender, the best surprise of life we’re sure. 🥰

Reese is so excited to be a big brother and we cannot wait to love on our next little babe 💕🥰🙏🥹

10/16/2024

10/16/2024

10/16/2024

10/09/2024

🐻

This photo of a mama bear snuggling her cubs under the stars has won the 2024 Creative Photo Awards.

📷: Lurdes Santander

"This image is part of Lurdes' collection, 'Animals Under the Stars.' It captures a poignant moment between a mother and her three calves—two sleeping peacefully on her chest while the third, weary, rests beside her face. The Milky Way was captured in this same place."

09/14/2024

LOL happy weekend 🍌🥛