01/29/2026
Why the Most Important Relationship After 40 Is the One You’ve Been Putting Last:
It often shows up quietly. You fall into bed exhausted from the day but lie awake running through tomorrow’s to do list. You take care of everyone else’s appointments while postponing your own. You tell yourself you will ‘have more time for myself once things settle’, but as one challenge settles a new one pop up on your radar. For many women in midlife, this pattern becomes so familiar that it no longer registers as a problem and is simply accepted as part of life. What often goes unseen is that the relationship with your own body, energy, and emotional well-being is being totally neglected.
Canadian research helps explain why this stage of life feels heavier than expected. National data shows that women between 40 and 64 report higher levels of perceived stress and declining mental well-being compared to earlier adulthood, particularly during years of peak caregiving and work responsibility. Closer to home, British Columbia research has found that the vast majority of women between 39 and 60 experience moderate to severe menopause related symptoms, with many reporting impacts on sleep, mood, work performance, and daily functioning. These are not small nuisances. They are signals that the body is asking for a different kind of care at a time when women are often giving the most to others.
Self care is frequently misunderstood as an indulgence, which is why so many women resist it. In reality, it should be seen as a form of routine maintenance rather than an optional luxury. Just as relationships need regular attention to stay healthy, so does your nervous system, mind, and body. Chronic stress without recovery increases fatigue, emotional reactivity, and physical strain. When women are taught to push through rather than pause, the cost is often paid in energy, confidence, and long term health.
The good news is that reconnecting with yourself does not require dramatic change. Research consistently shows that small, regular practices can have meaningful effects on stress and emotional regulation. Here are three simple, research-backed practices that foster a sustainable relationship with your own wellbeing:
Journalling Start or end each day with five minutes of reflective writing. Expressive journaling helps externalize anxiety, reduce worry, and improve mood regulation. Regular practice, even briefly, rewires how the brain processes stress and emotions. Journalling does not mean writing well or pouring out pages of emotion. Even five minutes of unfiltered writing helps the brain organise thoughts, reduce mental looping, and process feelings instead of storing them in the body.
Breath Awareness: Incorporate intentional breathing breaks into your day. Slow deep breaths that engage the diaphragm can shift the nervous system from fight-or-flight into a calmer state and lower emotional reactivity.
Movement: Choose movement that feels good and sustainable rather than performance oriented. Regular movement improves circulation, supports hormone balance and enhances mental clarity. Even short walks with mindful awareness count.
TIMELY NOTE:
Mindful self care invites you to reframe February not just as a time for celebrating romantic love but as an opportunity to reconnect with the most enduring partnership you have: your own health and vitality. If you want more guided support in beginning this journey, The Hive Fitness and Yoga Studio in Chemainus will be hosting The Self Love Reset workshop on Friday, Feb. 13. The evening is designed as a gentle pause to reconnect, reflect, and learn simple tools that support energy, resilience, and self-compassion moving forward. For more information about The Self Love Reset or to connect, you can reach Dr. Laura through The Hive Fitness and Yoga Studio or follow her work locally.
