13/06/2023
Why is our culture so afraid of aging and dying? We have all been touched by life-altering or life-ending disease. We've been affected by the way we ourselves or our loved ones have been cared for by our healthcare systems.
The way we view what happens in later years contributes to the aversion we have for facing these topics.
From the perspective of a Registered Massage Therapist who cares for the eldery and the dying in care homes, hospice, and hospitals, I have seen some needs of the community, ways we could get there, and the possibility of exceptional experiences in human dignity and care that can change the way we think about our future.
Even if patients are well cared for by nurses and doctors, there is often still something missing. Someone who is there solely to be a compassionate witness for this whole human, going through a possibly harrowing experience. Someone who listens and pays attention, who knows how and when to give safe, nurturing touch that helps calm the nervous system.
It's wonderful if that compassionate presence is a loved one. However, it's not always possible. Many times, family and friends have work or other obligations and can be there for short periods. Many are worried when visiting and can't be present for their loved one, as they are also deep in feelings of grief or fear, coupled with all the other concerns in their lives.
Nurses have so much to think about, crucial tasks to perform, and with few exceptions must keep an eye on several patients. RMTs and end of life doulas are excellent bridges between what nurses offer and what loved ones can do. Studies have shown that massage therapy reduces pain medication needs, helps patients feel more heard, and makes nurses' jobs easier. In Canada, RMTs are not widely employed in hospitals, hospice, or care homes, where kind, nurturing touch would be most beneficial. Patients must pay separately if they want treatment.
Seeing our loved ones being cared for in a way that improves quality of life in their elder years and at the end of life would be a good start to mitigating the fear of aging and hopefully lead to other beautiful shifts in the way we approach living...and dying.
This is a fantastic and insightful study called, "I didn't know massage could do that." https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32951756/