09/14/2025
"I’m 29 now. Married to Franziska. We’ve got 3 kids. She carried and birthed them like a superhero. And here’s what I wish I knew about being a supportive partner in those first, chaotic years of parenthood:
1️⃣ She carried the baby IN her belly for 9 months.
So you carry the baby ON your belly every chance you get. Nap time, late-night walks, whatever. It helps her recover. It bonds you to your baby in ways you can’t even imagine.
2️⃣ She’s breastfeeding.
It’s beautiful, but it’s also exhausting. So change every diaper you can. From diaper #1 onward. You’ll get over the grossness. What you’ll gain is balance, teamwork, and a wife who brags about you when her friends complain about their absent partners.
3️⃣ Make the coffee.
Even if it gets cold and she forgets it. Even if she falls back asleep before touching it. She was up all night. That small gesture says, “I see you. I’ve got you.”
4️⃣ Tell her she’s beautiful.
Not just when she feels it. Especially when she doesn’t. She literally rearranged her organs and gained weight to give you a child. Remind her she’s strong. Remind her she’s a superhero.
5️⃣ Take the heat.
Hormones — before birth and after — are no joke. Some days she won’t feel like herself. She might snap. Don’t snap back. Be her rock. Normal will return, and she’ll remember the man who stayed steady when she couldn’t.
👉 Marriage + parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up. Over and over. Choosing each other again and again through the mess.
To every soon-to-be dad out there: this is the stuff that matters. Not being perfect. Not “helping” like a sidekick. But being a true partner. A steady rock. A present father."
*** Ted Gonder ***