Audhd Unfiltered

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Audhd Unfiltered Canadian, Autistic, ADHD, and unfiltered. Welcome into my brain and daily life

22/11/2025

Mistakes are not proof of failure.
Mistakes are proof you’re doing something.
Every time I “mess up,” I gain data.
Information.
Perspective.

The only real mistake is believing I should’ve known everything before I tried.

22/11/2025

When you have ADHD, it happens a lot that you tell the same story twice (or three times 😅) to the same person.
You’re excited, you’re talking fast, you’re in your moment… and then they hit you with a little “Yeah, you already told me that.”

And just like that… your brain shrinks.
Instantly you feel that “oh… right, sorry…” and you want to fall through the floor.

But honestly… maybe we can change that.

If someone repeats a story you already know, instead of saying “you already told me,” try something like “right, that’s true!” or “oh yeah, I remember that!”
It tells the person you’re present, you’re listening, you’re still with them… without giving them that sinking feeling of “I talked too much.”

It’s a tiny thing, but for brains that forget, repeat, or get carried away… that tiny thing changes everything.

And honestly, the world is already hard enough on us.
We don’t need more “you already said that.”
We need more “yeah, that’s true, I remember ❤️.”

22/11/2025

We’re told we need to “get out of our comfort zone.”
Sure, growth happens there.
But so does danger, burnout, and trauma.

Balance matters.
Sometimes safety is the brave choice.
Sometimes comfort is survival.
Don’t let people shame you for choosing what keeps you whole.

21/11/2025

“You’ve hurt their feelings.”
No.
Their feelings were hurt.
That’s not the same thing.

I’m responsible for my words and actions, yes.
But I can’t control how someone else interprets them.
I can apologize, clarify, care.
But their feelings live inside them.

21/11/2025

“I feel guilty.”
Guilt only makes sense when I’ve actually done something wrong.
But most of my guilt comes from disappointing expectations I never agreed to in the first place.
That’s not guilt.
That’s social conditioning.

20/11/2025

People say “that’s not important.”

Important to who?
There’s a big difference between “important” and “priority.”

Something can be important to me but not my priority right now.
Doesn’t make it meaningless.
Doesn’t make me flaky.
It means I have to choose what gets my limited energy.

20/11/2025

Here’s a little communication trick I really like in relationships (romantic, friendship, whatever) : the number game.

When there’s a disagreement, a decision to make, or just different preferences, instead of debating for three hours, both people say a number from 0 to 10 at the same time.

0 = I don’t care at all.
10 = non-negotiable, I need this.

Then you compare.
If you’re at an 8 and I’m at a 4, then we go with you.
Because in a balanced relationship, you follow the person it matters most to.

It’s so simple, but it changes everything.
It removes the whole “who’s right” battle and brings the conversation back to “what matters to you right now?”

Like... I need to sleep with a fan on, for the breeze and the noise.
My partner prefers nos wind and silence.
But they can sleep with my fan on.
I cannot sleep when I don't have my breeze and noise.
So we have a fan in the room. They can deal with it. I can.'t.

And honestly, that tiny little number calms so many conflicts.
You don’t have to agree on everything.
But if you learn to recognize what matters most to each person, you also learn to choose each other without anyone having to shrink or give up everything.

Of course, you gotta be honest and not just say 10 every time to get your way...

Did you know this trick?
Or do you have another method you like for handling disagreements without turning it into an arm-wrestling match?

20/11/2025

“I can’t say no.”
Yes, you can.

You’re scared of the consequences, of people’s reactions, of being rejected.
But you can say no.
The words exist.
The ability exists.

It’s the fear that blocks it, not your capacity.
Owning that truth shifts the whole narrative.

If you tell yourself you don't know how to say no, or that you can't say no, your brain records it as a truth and won't even try.

If you say that you are scared of saying no, your brain will understand the fear and work on it.

19/11/2025

You think I’m organized because I have color-coded systems.
Truth is, I’m terrified of what happens if I don’t.

The planners, the sticky notes, the alarms... they’re not cute aesthetic choices; they’re how I keep my brain from dropping everything I care about.
You see tidy. I see survival. You see control. I see chaos on a leash.

19/11/2025

“High functioning” is a joke.

You only call me that when my pain is invisible enough that you don’t have to deal with it.
You see competence; I see exhaustion.
You see calm; I see survival.

“Functioning” is just a word for how easy it is to ignore someone’s struggle. You’re not complimenting me; you’re admitting your comfort depends on my silence.

18/11/2025

I don’t “take things too seriously.”
I take people seriously.

I believe words mean something.
When someone says they care, I expect it to show. If they lie, I remember. That’s not overreacting; that’s respecting reality.
The world keeps telling me to chill, but I’m not going to lower my standards just to make apathy feel normal.

18/11/2025

There’s a huge injustice when you’re autistic (or when you live with any other disabling condition)...

When someone can’t express their needs, people understand it’s hard.
Like someone who’s nonverbal.
We respect that. We adapt. We say it’s a disability and that we should show empathy.
And that’s true.

But when an autistic person can say how they feel, explain clearly what they need… suddenly it becomes “demanding.”
“Too rigid.”
“Never satisfied.”
“Complicated.”

As if being able to speak somehow cancels the pain, the effort, or the overload behind it.
As if the fact that I can put words on what I’m going through means I’m obviously capable of “adapting like everyone else.”

But having the words doesn’t make it easy.
Having the vocabulary doesn’t make the reality less painful.
It just means I’m able to talk about it instead of collapsing in silence.

The more someone explains what they’re going through, the more people forget that they’re suffering and still suffering from how others respond.

So remember this: clarity doesn’t remove the pain.
Being able to express yourself doesn’t erase the disability.
It just makes it visible in a different way… if people actually take the time to listen.

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