01/29/2026
Using an Imaginary ‘Selfie’ to Learn from Mistakes
Have you ever made a mistake? If you are human, then you must have.
How do you handle mistakes?
• Do you label your mistakes as failures?
• Do you hear yourself judging and criticizing yourself for your mistakes?.
• Do you ruminate about all your past failures?
• Are you so afraid of making mistakes that you avoid making decisions?
• When you make a mistake, are you kind to yourself?
• Do you forgive yourself when you make a mistake?
• Do you learn from your mistakes?
When I was a medical student, learning new skills, I made many mistakes. To prevent me from making serious mistakes, I was initially supervised strictly by many different doctors. Those doctors gave me feedback about my mistakes. Some of that feedback was kind and much of it was not so kind. As I developed my skills, I was gradually trusted to do more and more on my own and allowed to graduate from medical school.
After graduating as a doctor, I started post-graduate specialty training. Again, I was initially closely supervised by doctors and surgeons who were more senior than me and more qualified than myself. They also acted as my mentors. Some of those mentors were kind and some were not so kind. Part of my training was to learn from my own mistakes. My mentors often shared their experiences of their own mistakes. Over time, as I developed my skills, I was trusted to perform more and more complex treatments and procedures on my own. I was eventually capable of proving that I was competent to practice medicine on my own.
Once I was competent to practice medicine on my own, I still needed supervision and mentoring. Yes, I had colleagues, to whom I could turn for help and guidance from time to time, but also I needed to be able to supervise and mentor myself on a daily basis.
How did I do that and how do I continue to do that?
I used my imagination.
You have probably taken a ‘Selfie’ photograph of yourself on your phone. At one time, you may have taken a ‘Selfie’ video of yourself. Well, your brain is capable of doing just that and without the use of a cellphone camera.
When I have dealt with a difficult case, particularly a difficult case that had a poor outcome, using my imagination, I will run a Selfie video of the event in my mind. That video has been stored in the Sim Card of my brain, the mysterious Sim Card that somehow stores all the memories of all the events in my life. You have a Sim Card in your brain too.
As I watch my imaginary Selfie video:
• I will observe my actions.
• I will listen to what I said out loud to the patient or to other clinicians.
• I will listen to what I was saying to myself in my internal voice.
• I will listen to what other clinicians were saying to me.
• I will remind myself of the emotional feelings that I experienced at the time.
The Selfie video will come with a commentary, much as a broadcast of a football or hockey game will have a play-by-play commentator who critiques the performance of the teams and the players. We all have an internal voice that provides a commentary on the events of our lives. I want my commentator to be kind to me and to be supportive, offering constructive criticism. A negative, judgemental internal commentator would erode my self-esteem and self-worth and drain me of energy, which could lead to burn-out and feelings of depression.
I will play the Selfie video several times. It is important that I do not keep playing the Selfie over and over and over and over again without finding a resolution. This is called rumination and that, too, can lead to burn-out and feelings of depression.
As I play the Selfie video, I will review my decisions and my actions.
My internal voice will ask:
• “What did I do well?”
• “What could I have done differently that could have improved the outcome?”
• “What help could I have asked for that would have made a difference?”
• “What can I learn from this event that would improve the outcome of similar events in the future?”
• “Was the negative outcome preventable by me?
• Was the outcome determined by outside events or other people?”
• “Did I make competent decisions?”
• The last question is most important. A competent physician or surgeon always asks that question. An incompetent physician or surgeon never asks that question.
Having reviewed my Selfie, I will make decisions that keep me moving forward and remain solution-focused.
• I may decide that I do not need to make changes, because the mistake was outside my control.
• Having learned from the event, I may decide to make changes and put those changes into action immediately or over time.
• I may decide that I need to seek help from a colleague in order to find solutions. We all need friends, to whom we can turn to in difficult times for support and advice.
In this way, each one of my mistakes becomes a learning experience and an opportunity to learn new skills and improve my quality of life.
Unconsciously, we all use our Selfies on a daily basis. When someone asks us, “How was your day?”, we may respond with, “Good” or “Horrible” or “Not bad” or “Excellent”. What we have just done is unconsciously run a Selfie of the day’s events and made a judgement of how the day went.
Deliberately practice playing your Selfie Videos on a daily basis.
At the end of each day, ask yourself, “How was my day?”. Then, run the Selfie and assess the quality of the day.
Then ask yourself:
• “What did I learn today that will make tomorrow a better day and an even better day after that?”.
• Is there anything that I would choose to do differently in the future if I am in a similar situation?
Remember to offer yourself appreciation and gratitude for all your successes.
When you have already practiced reviewing your Selfies in calm times, you will be able to quickly review a difficult moment that comes along in your life, as it inevitably will. You will quickly be able to assess the situation, using your Selfie, make a healthy choice and move forward.
Have fun with your Selfies.
Dr. David Murphy
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