04/05/2025
Learn about why you may keep getting stuck in the same emotional patterns. The answer may lie in your core emotional needs—the fundamental drivers that shape your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. When these needs are met, you feel confident, secure, and fulfilled. When they go unmet, you may experience stress, self-doubt, and emotional struggles.
Join Alistair Gordon, Adjunct Professor of Counselling Psychology in Canada as he shares expert psychology knowledge and tools.
In this video, you'll learn:
✅ What core emotional needs are and why they matter
✅ How unmet needs shape emotions, behaviors, and relationships
✅ Practical steps to recognize and meet your needs for greater well-being
🔹 The 12 Core Emotional Needs
Every human has fundamental psychological and emotional needs that influence their daily experiences. Here’s a breakdown:
1️⃣ Agency & Competence – "I can handle this." Feeling capable and in control.
2️⃣ Belonging – "I am accepted." Feeling connected and valued in relationships.
3️⃣ Worth – "I matter." Knowing you have intrinsic value.
4️⃣ Safety – "I am secure." Feeling physically, emotionally, and psychologically safe.
5️⃣ Control – "I have a say in my life." Having influence over decisions and outcomes.
6️⃣ Approval – "I am respected." Feeling socially valued and validated.
7️⃣ Stability – "Life is predictable." A sense of consistency and reliability.
8️⃣ Purpose & Meaning – "My life has direction." Finding significance in your actions.
9️⃣ Care & Nurturance – "I am supported." Feeling cared for and offering care to others.
🔟 Joy & Playfulness – "I can experience happiness." Engaging in fulfilling, positive experiences.
1️⃣1️⃣ Gratitude & Accomplishment – "I have achieved something." Recognizing success and progress.
1️⃣2️⃣ Resilience & Overcoming Hardship – "I can adapt and overcome." Understanding patterns of struggle and growth.
💡 When Core Needs Aren’t Met
Unmet needs shape your emotional responses in ways you may not realize. For example:
✔ If you feel disrespected (Approval need unmet), you might withdraw or seek excessive validation.
✔ If you feel out of control (Control need unmet), you might experience anxiety or try to control others.
✔ If you feel worthless (Worth need unmet), you may struggle with self-doubt or people-pleasing.
🔹 How to Recognize & Meet Your Core Needs
✅ Pause & Reflect: Ask yourself—What am I feeling? Which need feels unmet?
✅ Challenge Automatic Reactions: Instead of “I’m just anxious,” recognize anxiety as a signal of an unmet need.
✅ Find Healthy Ways to Meet the Need:
✔ Need Belonging? Reach out to a friend or loved one.
✔ Need Control? Set a small, achievable goal.
✔ Need Approval? Focus on self-validation rather than external approval.
🌟 Ready to transform your emotional well-being?
📅 Book an Appointment:
🔹 Therapy (BC & Select Canadian Provinces) → https://wellspringcounselling.janeapp.com
🔹 Personal Growth Coaching (Worldwide) → https://wellspringcounselling.janeapp.com
📚 Free Self-Help Resources:
🌍 Self-Help Program → https://wellspringcounselling.ca/self-help-program
📖 Blog & Insights → https://wellspringcounselling.ca/blog
📢 https://buymeacoffee.com/alistairgordon By supporting me at buymeacoffee.com, you’re helping to spread free, high-quality mental health education to more people—so that those who might not have access to therapy can still find the insights and tools they need for growth.
If my content has helped you, or if you want to support more of this work, feel free to buy me a coffee! Every contribution helps me create more videos, expand resources, and reach more people who need it.
Thanks for being part of this journey! 🚀
🔔 Like, comment, and hit the notification bell for updates.