Chantille Groves Counselling & Consulting

10/12/2023

10/10/2023

This!

10/03/2023

Yes!!!!!

We can’t be well if basic needs aren’t met.

Of course people have anxiety, depression, and any other symptom from their body if they can’t make ends meet. Or if they don’t feel safe in their home/in relationships. Our bodies are incredibly wise and anxiety is our internal alarm saying: I am not safe. I need to be on high alert. I can not relax.

Depression is the body shutting down saying: I’m am not safe. I need to dissociate. If I freeze, I can survive this.

Suppressing these symptoms is not the answer.

This will always provide temporary solutions because we don’t understand symptoms as adaptions. And we don’t understand that all humans have core needs for safety, belonging, and overall purpose.

We also don’t talk enough about the reality that many therapists themselves are in survival mode. Many are in massive debt with very little pay. The same goes for others in helping professions.

How can people take care of others if they are not when taken care of themselves?

How can a person show someone the path out survival mode if they’re still within it?

If we want people to be well, we need to fully understand human needs. We need to understand that humans who do not have these needs met will respond and adapt.

If our culture has rising mental health problems (and it does) this is for a reason. This is a mirror showing us what we need to heal in ourselves and what we need to build together as a community.

We need to start looking at people’s lives as a whole. Then their behavior will always make sense. Then, we will stop telling everyone they’re sick and we will start having honest and uncomfortable conversations that we tend to sweep under the rug.

Share your thoughts in the comments

09/28/2023

Relationships are strange and paradoxical – the same one can bring us unimaginable joy one minute, and deep sorrow the next. Our relationships will have conflict at some point or another. 🥰That’s what makes us human. But understanding why the other person has a certain attitude towards the situation is the ultimate superpower. Seeking first to understand, before being understood actually puts you in the power seat. Read this: it doesn't mean you condone, support, even believe that what another does or says is right or accurate or just. Our only goal is to get peace in your heart and a regulated body so you can respond, continue, and proceed with all the best parts of you. Remember this: empathy can diffuse emotion. Full stop. 💕

09/28/2023

08/27/2023

When I was writing my next book I covered “good person” conditioning because I believe it’s making us sick. It’s causing us to lose ourselves. It’s creating a culture of irritable, lost human beings.

Suppression makes us sick.

We are meant to fully express ourselves.

We need to tell someone “no” or “I’m not comfortable” or “when this happened I felt like…” We need to be heard. We need to create the space for other people to say what they need to say. It’s ok if what we’re saying isn’t nice— sometimes that’s necessary. Asserting ourselves won’t always seem nice. It might even seem “rude” to people who would rather you mask how you feel.

Say it, respectfully.

Our body pays the price when we suppress. When we deny. When we try to be nice at the expense of our own wellness.

It feels good to let it out

08/27/2023

I know it hurts.

It’s a very strange feeling how someone can be in your life for months or even years and then one day ... all of a sudden not be there anymore.

Maybe the relationship ended on good terms.... or maybe it was completely catastrophic.

Either way .... it’s so bizarre how relationships can change so vast and rapidly.

And you know what .... you may not be at peace with what happened between the two of you ... and thats perfectly fine.

Sometimes the end of a relationship can literally be one of the hardest things we go through in life.

I want you to know it’s okay that your heart still hurts because of what happened.

You have made alot of memories with this person.

And these memories that you have made is something you can’t erase no matter how hard you try.

Whether you like it or not, they are a part of your story.

I know looking on these memories can be hard, and you may wish you could forget them.

But instead of forgetting, maybe we should try to focus on what came from the relationship.

You two joined paths for a particular reason.

Maybe you walked through some of the hardest times together.

Maybe you understood each other in a way no one else ever did.

Maybe you encouraged one another to be strong or to embrace who you genuinely were as a person.

Or maybe your relationship with them opened your eyes to what you truly needed in your life.

Regardless of what the reasoning was, it’s okay to acknowledge that .... that person meant a lot to you.

And it's okay if they still do.

It’s also okay that they aren’t in your life anymore.

What alot of people dont understand is, not every relationship we encounter will last a lifetime.

You shouldn't be lingering in the past questioning why everything happened the way it did.

What you need to do .... is to take what you've learned from that relationship and move forward in your life.

Knowing there are other relationships that will give you exactly what you've always dreamed of and more.

I need you to know that you're not going to feel this way forever.

You will continue to move forward and you will continue to grow with everyday that passes.

Take my advice and remember ....

Sometimes the people you wanted as part of your story, are only meant to be a chapter.

Cody Bret

Artist: Unknown