01/16/2026
I was seeing a couple last night, that has two kids, and like many couples I see they are having difficult with intimacy. However, something that the wife said struck a cord with me. She said, “I am just touched out,” what she was referring to was that her kids are often all over that when she has her body to herself she does not want anyone to touch her. That resonated with me and many moms I have spoken to have stated similar things, without using the term “touched out.”
I often tell my husband at the end of the night, “I am so exhausted, I just do not want anyone near me, I want to sit by myself on the couch and just have my own space.”
So why does intimacy often become harm after kids?
1. Exhaustion and mental load - parenting is relentless, when your nervous system is constantly “on,” desire often shuts down. Many parents feel touched-out, overstimulated and depleted by the end of the day.
2. Body changes and self image - pregnancy and postpartum recovery can deeply affect how you feel in your body - and it is hard to feel s*xual when you do not like yourself.
3. Emotional disconnect - less time to talk, fewer shared moments, and more logistics can turn partners into co- managers instead of lovers.
4. Pressure around s*x - when intimacy becomes “one more thing” on the to-do list - or when one partner wants it more than the other- resentment, guilt, or avoidance can creep in.
5. Hormones and post partum mental health - hormonal shifts, breast feeding, postpartum anxiety and depression can all lower your s*x drive and desire for closeness.
So as cute as those two little munchkins are, as many with kids will say they definitely impact a marriage.
*xafterkids -out
