05/11/2026
Your moments of happiness are closer than they appear.
This week was interesting to say the least. Last Saturday someone "attacked" me online and I decided to be non reactive and to be grateful for it. That decision opened me up energetically to being seen by thousands of people. I posted a reel of what I do, not unlike much of my other reels and stories that usually only get me 100-200 views, this one so far has garnered well over 37K with over 1K likes. It brought be over 300 new followers and it keeps going.
This was a very interesting process for me. After years of trying to get myself noticed, the moment finally came. I made sure to be very aware where my emotions and thought were going as the notifications kept pouring in. When I say that i would get over 100 every 30 minutes of not looking at my phone, would you believe me? It was wild! I made sure to like and reply to every comment and to follow back every new followers. I immediately started creating another reel about a glutes reset because keep doing what works right?
And then I realized I was more often on my phone than I was present in my life. Well that won't do.
And then I would start feeling weird, like energetically off. I would ask myself what it was and I soon realized it was anytime someone would comment in a way that would make me doubt myself. And when the time came to reply, I would make sure to calm my nervous system that was going into flight mode and making me feel nauseous, take a deep breath and make sure I answered back from a place of nonreactivity and light. Only for it to happen half a day later. It was exhausting and was keeping me up at night. It was getting easier to calm the self-doubts each time as I truly belive that self-doubts only come when you are on the right path, which means you keep going. But then one night at 3 am when I was trying to figure out what to reply that would make it that they would kindly leave me alone, I came to the (now obvious)conclusion: I don't need to reply! I don't need to convince people. I don't need to prove myself. I don't owe anyone, let alone strangers on the internet, anything. I am good at what I do. Actually, I am excellent at what I do. So instead of wasting my energy explaining myself I realized that I get to choose what I do.or don't do. So I went to the kitchen to prepare my kid's lunches with the biggest smile on my face. Who knew that preparing lunches in the middle of the night would bring me such joy?
I then thought to myself, where else have I been giving my energy and self away in regards to this reel? So I decided to unfollow every new follower that I had followed back. Not because I am not thankful for them, because I am, but because I don't need to! I get to choose who I want to follow not the other way around.
I also realized that the joy I was first getting with every new views/like/share... was turning bitter...but why?? Isn't this what I wanted?
Yes but no. Yes I want people to see me and now me but not for this. Not for a technique that isn't mine to teach. I want them to see me for what I can bring to the table when it comes to helping them hone their skills, helping them become better at what they do and who they are, I want to help them become their best selves. Yes this technique is to me the best gateway to reaching that but there is so much more to what I do than this. I have come to realize that however grateful I am for becoming more visible to more people, it has brought me clarity in what I want and don't want, in what I want to bring more of (so I decided to postpone the glutes reset reel I had planned). I have certainty that even this is good in its own way and that I might only figure it out down the road. But I know that making decisions for me and not the algorithm will always make me the happiest.
