02/20/2026
Here is a breakdown of why it doesn't matter if your goals make sense to anyone else:
1. The Power of Personal Meaning
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic: Goals that are personally significant (intrinsic) are more likely to provide long-term fulfillment than those chosen to impress others (extrinsic).
Identity Alignment: When a goal is aligned with who you are, it increases motivation, satisfaction, and long-term success.
Your Journey: Setting goals is a method for you to define your own path in life, which increases autonomy and self-determination.
2. The Danger of Seeking External Validation
The "Empty Success" Trap: Chasing someone else’s definition of success (e.g., parents, society, peers) often leads to feeling empty, even if you achieve the goal.
The Comparison Trap: Comparing your journey to others is a poor measure of success.
Avoiding Distractions: When you focus on what others think, you may lose sight of your own priorities and get distracted.
3. The Benefits of Keeping Goals Personal
Privacy is Power: Keeping your goals private protects you from the negativity, judgment, or potential sabotage of others.
Maintaining Momentum: Telling people your goals can sometimes release a "premature spike of dopamine" that tricks your brain into thinking you’ve already achieved them, which reduces your motivation to do the hard work.
Focus on Process: Personal goals allow you to enjoy the process and growth, rather than just worrying about the final, visible result.
4. It’s About How It Feels
Subjective Success: Success is not about how your life looks to others; it’s about how it feels to you.
Self-Growth: The primary purpose of goals is to foster your own growth, self-confidence, and to help you become a more intentional person.
Summary: Your goals serve as a "GPS" for your life, navigating your unique desires. They don't need to make sense to anyone else because they are designed to fulfill you, not them.