Veronica Harris Counselling

03/21/2023

Postpartum Doulas- such a great resource in the essential support needed in the postpartum time

03/20/2023

New space

Welcome to my new space!

I’ve moved my office, same building different entrance. Look for info in your booking email.

Looking forward to seeing you here, or out in forest 🌲

-Veronica

01/31/2023

I have been in the season of learning this winter, looking forward to sharing it all with you💜

*All things nervous system and attachment

*How vital nourishment is to our’s and our babies physiology and development-specifically animal based foods

*Family systems and their constellations- the importance of these structures to a thriving family

09/30/2021

New parents struggle with the decision to sleep train or not. The idea of getting your baby on a schedule and you getting more sleep is very appealing.

But developmental and attachment science has been suggesting it is not beneficial.

Here's what the research says:

True responsive care means adjusting to what babies need

07/28/2021

The CBC’s Jen Wilson tells us that more and more new parents are seeking extra mental health support during the COVID-19 pandemic, and the Pacific Post Partum Society is struggling to keep up with the demand.

06/09/2021

This has been showing up in sessions these days, people are struggling with how to feel about things "opening back up."

We need to turn and face our suffering and pain before we can learn and grow from it.

"So go ahead and feel. Let it get messy. Find your moments to prime your tears and allow them to fall. Scream into that pillow. REST into all of it. And along the way, be kind to you. Move your body. Feed it good food. Sleep. Find your people to lean into. And as a big person, also know that this is for you to own so your children aren’t left carrying it for you."

Today I was chatting with my assistant, Tara, when she made a comment, “You know, the world is opening up, but it seems like so many of us are actually having a tougher time now than when we were at the beginning of this pandemic madness. Is it that we’re not ready? What’s happening?”

I immediately thought of something that my very wise partner, David Loyst, said at one of our recent clinical team meetings. He likened our feelings to an ocean. He explained that for many of us, when we were children, our very well-meaning big people wanted us to be happy. If our feelings were the sea, they wanted the water to be still and shiny with reflecting sunlight. And so our big people promoted those feelings, and discouraged the opposite. Even as babies, we were “shh – shh – shh”ed, because those tears were uncomfortable. Stormy feelings, big tantrums, rocky waters? This did not fit the Narrative of Childhood Happiness, and so they were not embraced. This valuing of the appearance of contentment over all else continued into our adulthood and became a part of our story.

And were our parents and grandparents and teachers and coaches and aunts and uncles wrong for that? No! They wanted the best for us. They wanted our happiness. But developmentally and spiritually, we need to experience the downs alongside the ups.

Years and years later, we are thrown into a pandemic. And an infodemic at the same time. Social media explodes with mixed messaging, such as “feel your feelings”, but also, “bake bread!”, “learn a new skill!”, “figure out Zoom!”, and “why not try a Zoom Zumba class while you’re at it!?” The waves are starting to get bigger. Worry and uncertainty are rolling in. Grief and anger’s whitecaps are foaming. The waves move up and down, just as feelings are SUPPOSED to go. We are supposed to find ourselves in the trenches of the waves. In the low. In the hard parts. These feelings are natural and necessary. But as we roll over the wave and find ourselves slipping from the high to the low, our programming kicks in. Wait! No! We can’t sit in sadness! Get up! Swim! Swim!

And so we swim. We bake the bread. We declutter the closet. We buy the books. We keep going. And we don’t ever let ourselves sit in our feelings. They are uncomfortable. They feel out of control. They are frightening.

And 16 months later, we are left in in the choppy waters. A purgatory of feelings. We haven’t made peace with the waves, and so they continue to agitate us. We keep swimming – always swimming – but we don’t feel as though we’re getting anywhere. It is exhausting. We are stuck.

If this is how you are feeling right now, I want to tell you (and wrap my arms around you at the same time) and say, “You are NOT ALONE.”

This feeling is everywhere. The confusion is everywhere. Why aren’t we happier that the world is opening up? Why are we still feeling so stressed? Why aren’t we thriving?

Because we haven’t been able to rest into the depths of our lows. Because we feel like we have to keep swimming until we reach happiness again. Because we are so panicked that if we let the tears start they might just never stop. So we get stuck there. In that messy, complicated zone of emotional purgatory. And precisely because of that, we road block ourselves from the return to happiness.

The truth is, you cannot know that happiness without knowing your sad and your mad and all of your lows. You have the ride the wave right down to the verrrrrry bottom. You have to cry all the tears. You have to be submerged in the swells of grief. You have to wail into the dark depths of all that is uncomfortable.

So go ahead and feel. Let it get messy. Find your moments to prime your tears and allow them to fall. Scream into that pillow. REST into all of it. And along the way, be kind to you. Move your body. Feed it good food. Sleep. Find your people to lean into. And as a big person, also know that this is for you to own so your children aren’t left carrying it for you.

And then…and then you will come through it. You will never stay stuck in the dark if you can simply and fully surrender to it. The sun will rise. The waters will calm. They might even sparkle.

05/05/2021

May 5th is World Maternal Mental Health Awareness Day

03/24/2021

Our relationships really get tested once we become parents. Here are a few ways we can support each other and our relationship when the relationship is struggling.

To say a new baby changes a relationship is an understatement.

It’s easy to look up from the dirty diapers and burp cloths and hardly recognize each other anymore. You're most likely spending much of this time as new parents in a haze while focusing on your daily tasks. While this is all normal and nothing to be ashamed of, you can still make small adjustments in the way you engage with one another that will help support your partnership.

Read about ways to turn toward each other after having a new baby on the blog: http://bit.ly/3t7SViG

12/14/2020

08/05/2020

Hey everyone, I've got really exciting news! I've joined with my colleague and friend Mandy Fudge to create Island Elements Counselling.
I will continue to promote maternal mental health in my practice, as well as providing couples, and individual counselling for adults, youth, and children.
https://www.islandelementscounselling.com/

Care for your mind, body and soul.Welcome to our practice. Please, take a look at who we are and how we can help you. Developing sustainable strategies to increase happiness and enjoyment in everyday living.  Learn more about our practice and philosophy around health. Learn More Our Clinicians Mand...

05/27/2020

Here's the whole interview, have a listen!

In this episode, we talk about mental and emotional health, wellbeing and how therapy can assist with resources, guidance and tools for personal growth and d...

05/27/2020

Interested in learning more about online counselling and what our team offers, check out our interview on Chronic Wellness Essentials

Tune in tomorrow at 1:00 PM to CHLY 101.7 FM for the Chronic Wellness radio show. My guests are Dr. Paola Lake, and Clinical Counsellors Mandy Fudge and Veronica Harris from Lake Professional Psychology. Topics include resilience, boundaries, relationships and more.
If you miss the live radio show, you can watch the replay on YouTube. Link will be posted right after the show.

05/24/2020

Tired of feeling pulled in every direction trying to be everything to everyone? Struggling with uncertainty?

Have a look at how expectations might be at play in your life and what you can do about that.

https://www.veronicaharriscounselling.com/blog/2020/5/24/unpacking-expectations-letting-go-of-who-you-think-you-should-be

Why this work is important: ·         Expectations inform many facets of our lives o   our relationships with our kids and partners, family and friends.  o   Drive our goals, mot

05/24/2020

Last night I spoke about expectations, recognizing who we think we should be or told to be and letting some of those go.

From the moment we are born, we’re told tons of stories about who we are. About what we’re supposed to do. About the way the world exists + how to exist within it.

Our conditioned self doesn’t question this. We go. We do. All in alignment with the ‘reality’ we have been sold on.

And then, we start to wake up.

Evolution is expansion. It’s the beginning of questioning all of our stories. All of the ‘truths’ we have been sold on.

This life is for YOU. How are you changing how you live it?

05/20/2020

On Sunday I spoke to Anger in the Motherhood Wellness Circle.

This post illustrates how anger can teach you about your unmet needs in motherhood.

Postpartum anger or rage can feel scary, really scary. It often happens because we are exhausted, depleted, and not getting our needs met. It's also a common sign of perinatal depression and anxiety, and yet it carries so much stigma, it can prevent people from reaching out for support.

Anger is a human reaction to a human experience, and while it can be frightening and overwhelming, it isn't 'wrong' to feel angry. It means that you need - and deserve - more support. What it DOESN'T mean, is that you are bad, or broken, or a horrible person/parent/partner.

The trick is to let yourself feel that anger in a safe and constructive way, so you can release it and find the unmet need that is lurking underneath, in order to communicate that need or find a way to get it met. That need might be as simple as lying down for 15 minutes, or as complex as negotiating more help from your support network.

Stuffing anger down or ignoring it will just mean that it bubbles up again later, maybe even stronger than before.

What strategies have you developed to constructively feel or move through your anger?

One thing I have noticed I do when I'm feeling angry is clean - it helps me channel that extra energy into something productive, and then having an ordered external environment helps my internal experience feel calmer as well. Another strategy I use is to take deep breaths and try and think soothing thoughts to myself, like "it's ok to be angry, you can handle this, this will pass."

Clare and I talk about PP anger and rage in Episode 2 of our podcast Beyond Postpartum, and at the end of that episode I share some general tips to help deal with anger: http://postpartum.org/beyond-postpartum-ep-2/

If anger is feeling overwhelming for you right now, we are available to support you if that feels like it would be helpful. We are available by phone or text from 10-3 Mon to Fri at 604-255-7999, or toll free (phone only, no text) at 1-855-255-7999.

05/20/2020

Who's ready for Mom Camp: Virtual Camp on Saturday evening?? This Saturday, May 23, 7-9pm PT.

This is time for YOU, and we have some awesome speakers scheduled! They are going to deliver incredible presentations to help you navigate this time and give you tools to make better.

The line-up includes:

🧘‍♀️ Gillian Goerzen () - "Claim your headspace: meditation for mommas on the move!" Gillian will talk about meditation as a mom-tool, and will break some of the misconceptions that exist.

🍏 Jenn Messina, RD () - "Top 5 strategies to fuel your body and ditch dieting for good"

💓 Veronica Harris - "Unpacking Expectations: Letting Go of Who You Think You SHOULD Be"

🦄 Cate Baio () - "Into the Unknown”
Everyone keeps saying "things will never go back to the way they were." What does that even mean? More importantly, what does this mean for YOU? In this session, we will explore the transformative process and how it applies to the pandemic and what comes next. We are entering the unknown. How do you want to show up, be seen and live brave™?

Space is limited, so grab your spot here:

https://momcamp.mykajabi.com/pl/171209

05/06/2020

Today is Maternal Mental Health Day.

I would like to take the time to acknowledge all of the mothers out there. Take a moment today to stop and turn inwards, and ask yourself "How am I?" Be honest and be kind to yourself with whatever comes up.

05/06/2020

Today is Maternal Mental Health Day. For all you mothers out there struggling with mental health issues, you are not alone.

These statistics are for mothers who have recently given birth. I would also like to acknowledge the mothers beyond this time. Maternal mental health is vital to the health of our families and our communities, at any stage of motherhood.