https://www.innerwisdomrising.ca/communityconnectioncall

Inner Wisdom Rising, New Dundee, ON (2025)

10/15/2025

The edge of self-acceptance feels like death because something does have to die. The version of you that’s been managing perception, performing worthiness, staying safe by staying hidden. The self that believed you had to be healed before you could be held. That self can’t survive the work of actually being seen.

But there’s something more that self-acceptance asks of us. It asks if we can stay, even when we’re not received. Even when we’re judged. Even when someone we love can’t hold all of who we are. It asks if we can know our worth even when their idea of us being wrong tries to convince us we’re unlovable. It asks if we can refuse to collapse into someone else’s perception of us, to keep our center even when the mirror they hold back feels distorted, incomplete, or confronting.

This is where self-acceptance lives. Not in the moments when we’re celebrated or understood, but in the moments when we’re not. When we take up space and someone pulls away. When we show a part of ourselves that makes another person uncomfortable. When our growth threatens someone else’s idea of who we should be. Can we stay with ourselves there? Can we hold our own worth without needing their validation to make it real?

Self-acceptance isn’t something you earn through enough therapy or self-knowledge. It’s something that gets built in real time, through real experiences, with people who can hold a mirror to your edges without demanding you perform. It’s what allows you to stay in connection without shrinking, to take responsibility without erasing yourself, to see yourself clearly without sliding into shame or superiority.

This is the work. Not fixing yourself into someone else’s version of acceptable. But learning to stay, whole and undefended, even when staying feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

09/23/2025

Every time my husband called unexpectedly, my body would tense before I even said hello.
 Over 19 years together, the hardest news often came through phone calls. Car accidents on his way to work, family emergencies that could not wait, medical results that changed everything. My nervous system started keeping score, filing each ring as potential danger.

It did not matter that 95 percent of his calls were ordinary. “What do you need from the store?” “Just wanted to hear your voice.”
 My body only remembered the 5 percent that had shattered my world.

It showed up in our conversations. I would skip his niceties, the “Hey hun, how are you,” and push for the bottom line. I sounded short, already bracing. Physically, my jaw would lock. Emotionally, I was on alert, trying to manage a crisis that had not been named. It was not how I wanted to show up, but my body was scanning for risk.

I finally found the words. I am scared. I am scared you are calling to tell me something bad happened, or is about to happen. It is hard to have a normal conversation until I know we are safe.

This is how trauma can live in the body, not only as memories or stories, but as expectations and sensations.

Rewiring took time and intention, and we did it together. He started texting first, “I am going to call, everything is okay.” Before answering, I grounded, feet on the floor, one slow exhale. On the call I asked, “Are we safe,” and waited for the yes.

Slowly, my body learned that his voice could carry ordinary love, not only crisis. The work was not pretending the fear made no sense, it was building new associations, one gentle call at a time.

Your body remembers to keep you safe. Sometimes that protection becomes its own kind of prison.
 This is the core of my work, turning implicit fear loops into lived safety, inside your body and inside your relationships. We do it with intention and with partnership.

09/22/2025

Yes, ChatGPT can feel like a therapist in your pocket, patient and always available. No cancelled appointments, no awkward silences, no one has to rearrange their life to be with you, and that’s why it can feel so easy to reach for in the hard moments.

And yet, true relational healing requires stepping into a living, reciprocal field. It requires people who can read your breath, sense your edge, hold both boundary and invitation, notice the micro shifts in your nervous system, speak the hard thing with care, then stay to repair what breaks.

That movement, that timing, that mutual return, is where real change lives. That is relational alchemy, the slow, lived transformation that happens only in human to human connection, whether friend, therapist, healer, facilitator, coach, or sister. Healing, in the deepest sense, requires human to human experience.

09/18/2025

We can be in a relationship with someone and never truly allow them to love us, or allow ourselves to love them as deeply as we could.

There’s something about the way we used to love before we learned to protect ourselves, that complete immersion, that openness without armor. We didn’t yet know how to brace for endings.

Then grief teaches us its lessons. Whether through breakups, death, illness, or separation from someone we love, grief feels enormous. Overwhelming. Like a flood that disconnects us from ourselves and makes us question whether we can handle that intensity again.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand: I don’t believe the opposite of love is hate. I believe the opposite end of love’s spectrum is grief. They are bound together, fused as one experience. You can’t experience love without grief. You can’t experience loss without having loved somebody. You can’t grieve somebody you didn’t love.

When we experience loss without the skills to move through grief, we learn that loving fully means risking devastation.

So we start keeping subtle distance. We hide our vulnerability, hold back our affection. We don’t share what’s really bothering us. We resist allowing someone to see and hold all of our parts because we’re afraid that if someone sees everything, they might leave.

This fear begins to architect how we move in relationships. We can be with someone for years, someone safe, someone who could hold our full selves, and never truly let them in. Not because they’re unsafe, but because we learned that love and loss are inseparable.

But what if we could change our relationship with grief itself? What if we could recognize grief as love with nowhere to go? The intensity that once felt like it would consume us becomes something that moves through us rather than destroying us.

When we understand that love and grief are fused, part of the same sacred experience, we stop needing to protect ourselves from the depths of love.
We can love like our younger selves again, not naively, but consciously. With both wonder and wisdom intact.

09/16/2025

Settling doesn’t always look dramatic. It shows up as

❗️ The fear of losing your “only” close friend

❗️ Telling yourself you’re being too sensitive

❗️ Choosing familiar disappointment over unknown possibility

Underneath those rationalizations is often a quiet ache: the experience of feeling unseen, unconsidered, or carrying more of the weight than the friendship can hold.

When we settle, we compromise our deeper relational needs: reciprocity, resonance, mutual care. We minimize the times they don’t show up, excuse the dismissive comments, keep giving even when it’s not reciprocated. We tell ourselves it’s fine because there’s no outright harm. But fine isn’t the same as fulfilling.

The impact of settling is subtle but cumulative. Over time, it leaves us lonely in connection, questioning our own worth, or convincing ourselves we’re asking for too much. It creates a quiet erosion, not always visible on the outside, but deeply felt within.

When we settle in friendship, we’re training ourselves for how we’ll show up everywhere else. We get used to silencing our needs, overlooking misalignments, staying loyal to the past instead of being honest about the present. In doing so, we miss out on friendships where we feel genuinely heard, where care flows both ways, and where we can be ourselves without pretense.

We miss the friendships where you’re known, valued, and met with the same energy you give.

04/16/2025

You’ve done the work.
You know the pattern.
You’ve journaled through it, spoken it aloud, processed it in therapy.

But….. you’re still waiting for it to land, click, sink in.
Waiting for the day your body stops bracing when someone gets too close.

Waiting for the moment you can speak a boundary without the shame spiral.

Waiting to feel like safety and connection don’t cancel each other out.

Not because you’re unaware, but because knowing isn’t the same as safety.

Insight doesn’t always translate to action, not when the body still remembers the cost of being abandoned or rejected.

This work isn’t about intellectualizing your experience, it’s about learning to be with yourself in new ways.

It’s about re-learning what safety feels like,
from an internal resource, so you don’t keep abandoning yourself in the moments that matter most.

This is the work we do inside Reclaiming Secure. If you’re ready to explore it in your body, not just your mind,

DM me “SECURE.

Where are you still hoping awareness will carry you, when what you really need is a new way of being?

03/11/2025

Somewhere along the way, you learned: 🔹 That being needed made you valuable. 🔹 That doing everything kept you connected. 🔹 That if you weren’t the one holding it all together, everything might fall apart.

Don’t just scroll—save this for when you need it

How to Shift This Pattern at a Nervous System Level:
🌿 Recognize the underlying fear. When you feel the urge to over-function, ask: What am I afraid will happen if I don’t?

🌿 Feel into your body’s response. The tightness in your chest, the urgency, the exhaustion—your nervous system is signalling that you don’t feel safe unless you’re in control.

🌿 Slowly rewire safety. The work isn’t about forcing yourself to do less—it’s about teaching your system that you are still safe even when you’re not over-giving.

🌿 Address the deeper wound. Healing this pattern isn’t about setting stricter boundaries—it’s about untangling the fear of being unchosen, unseen, or unworthy when you’re not proving your value.

This is deep work. But when you heal the root, everything shifts.

✨ Inside my 1:1 container, we integrate this at the nervous system level. If you’re ready to break free from over-functioning and step into real security, DM me “SECURE.”

03/06/2025

Don’t get me wrong—I love a good ritual. For many, these experiences serve as catalysts, opening the door to inner healing. They spark something within us, offering a glimpse of what’s possible. A weekend retreat, a full moon ceremony, or a powerful meditation can feel profound—sometimes even life-changing. But here’s what we need to remember: 
A ritual is just the beginning. A temporary shift. A moment of clarity.

Real transformation? 
It’s what happens after the retreat ends, when you return to the same relationships, the same triggers, and the same deeply ingrained patterns.

* Do you continue the work when no one is guiding you through it?

* Are you integrating what you’ve learned into your daily life?

* Can you sit with discomfort, regulate your nervous system, and choose a new response—when it actually matters?

Healing isn’t something you can “complete” in a weekend. It’s an ongoing process. A practice. A commitment to meeting yourself over and over again, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when the initial glow of the retreat has faded.

Rituals can be powerful initiations, but the real work happens in the small, unseen moments—when no one is watching.

What’s a practice or shift you’ve been integrating after an awakening experience?

Drop it in the comments. Let’s talk about the work that happens beyond the retreat.

02/12/2025

For so long, your ability to sense, anticipate, and meet the needs of others kept you safe.

You learned that being deeply attuned to others, sometimes at the cost of yourself, was the only way to maintain connection.

But if social interactions leave you drained…
If setting boundaries feels impossible…
If you feel like you’re losing yourself in relationships…

This isn’t about being “too sensitive.” It’s about emotional enmeshment, when your nervous system is wired to prioritize others over yourself. While this pattern once protected you, it’s not how connection is meant to feel. Real connection doesn’t require self-sacrifice.

In my 10-week one-to-one deep integration work, we rewire these survival patterns at the nervous system level so you can experience connection from a place of deep, embodied security rather than fear, overthinking, or exhaustion.

Drop a 💬 or comment “reclaim” if this resonates, or DM me to explore this work together.

04/06/2024

It wasn't until I embarked on this path of Inner healing later in life that I realized my reactions to conflict were deeply rooted in my attachment style. Reflecting on times of conflict with my sister, I recall an overwhelming urge to immediately resolve the issue, to make things "right" again. The mere thought of someone being upset with me was unbearable. My anxiety would spiral, making it feel as though the world was on the brink of collapse.
Friendship was a concept that didn't come easily to me. Growing up, I was often the target of bullying, spending countless days in solitude on the playground, lunchtimes marked by isolation. Therefore, when someone extended the hand of friendship, I clung to it with everything I had, determined to keep that connection at all costs. I was that child who would give away anything, go to any lengths, just to feel a sense of belonging. The mere possibility of ending up friendless again was, in my eyes, the worst conceivable fate.
This realization led me to understand that if the prospect of conflict fills you with a sense of impending doom, it's crucial to explore self-soothing techniques and engage in nervous system work. These practices are not just about managing these intense feelings but about understanding their origins and transforming how we relate to ourselves and others in moments of conflict.
What does self-soothing look like for you? How do you handle conflict? Share below, and let’s talk about it.

04/04/2024

Culturally, women have been ingrained to “multitask and juggle a myriad of roles, to continually prove their worth, excel, appease others, remain subdued, or minimize their voice - often, as a survival mechanism. Our history is riddled with expectations for women to conform, adapt, and even reduce their essence to fit a mold.
In various situations and professions; the need to wear a mask, to be someone else, becomes an unspoken norm. These survival mechanisms, deeply entrenched, sometimes make us overlook our body's gentle nudges for respite, pushing us beyond our limits.

Historically, under the influence of patriarchal ideologies, women have been narrowly defined by roles centered around reproduction and caregiving. Such limiting views have contributed to labels, casting women as "overly emotional", "histrionic", or "exaggerative", undermining their broader capacities and strengths.
Life's challenges and unpredictability can often lead to feelings of disconnection or transformation. At times, it might feel as if your body isn't in sync with your spirit, responding in ways that seem without reason. But it's crucial to understand that our bodies are inherently programmed for our well-being.
Every emotional and physical response is an attempt to restore balance.
Rather than seeing it as a betrayal, recognize it as a signal, a call for introspection and realignment.
It's a beckoning from within to break patterns that have been deeply woven into our nervous system over time. This journey is about rewriting those patterns. It begins with reconnection: Re-establishing a gentle, nurturing relationship with your body and seeing it not as an adversary but as a tender ally in your journey toward true well-being.
If you aren't sure what the next steps in reestablishing a nurturing relationship with yourself looks like, I invite you to book a soul path mapping call with me, where we map out your journey and give you tangible steps to take to start cultivating that relationship. Message me, or head to my bio to book today.

04/01/2024

Traumatic experiences can leave imprints on the body, manifesting as chronic tension, altered breathing patterns, and dysregulated nervous system responses.
When we use practices like somatic work to help address these physical manifestations of trauma, we have a more integrated and holistic healing process.
Somatic practices help this integration by allowing us to embody our experiences fully, acknowledge their impact, and then release them, making space for new narratives and experiences.
What has been your experience with somatic practices? Do you have any that you rely on, or you are trying out lately?

Inner Wisdom Rising

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