Beyouwithcandidar

05/04/2026

I said what I said. 👆🏾

Waiting is not always wisdom.
It’s the terror of trying and being seen.
Of wanting something and not getting it.
Of outgrowing the version of yourself that everyone is comfortable with.

The city behind me doesn’t wait for anyone.
Eight million people moving in every direction because they decided to go.
You don’t need the perfect moment.

You just need to decide that the wait is over. 🖤

What have you been calling patience that might actually be fear? Be honest — drop it below. 👇🏾

04/27/2026

How you’re feeling right now does not have to be the end of your story. 🖤
I need you to read that again.
Not as a motivational quote.
Not as a platitude someone stitched onto a pillow.
As a clinical truth from someone who has sat across from people who were convinced that what they were feeling in that moment was permanent.

The exhaustion that had no name.
The grief that wouldn’t move.
The numbness that settled in so quietly you almost mistook it for healing.
The version of yourself you didn’t recognize anymore.

I’ve watched people carry those feelings like a verdict.

I want to say this as gently and as firmly as I know how —
Feelings are information.
They are NOT your destination.

They are telling you something true about what you’ve been through. They are not telling you something permanent about who you are or where you’re going.

You are allowed to be in a hard chapter without calling it the ending.
You are allowed to not be okay and still believe that okay is possible.
That’s not pretending.
That is the radical act of refusing to let your worst moment write your whole story.

Wherever you are today — I see you. 🖤

04/26/2026

This is it. 👆🏾

Not the kind that comes wrapped in a motivational quote.
The kind that finds you on a random Sunday, watching the people you love walk ahead of you — and realizing you’ve spent years doing the same thing.

Walking BEHIND your own life.

As a therapist, I sit with people every single day who are exhausted from being everything to everyone. Who have put their dreams in a drawer so long they’ve forgotten what they felt like. Who laugh nervously when I ask, “what do YOU want?”

And I’m not exempt from that. I’ve been her too.

The woman who justified staying small because the timing wasn’t “right”.
Because the kids needed her.
Because what if it didn’t work?
Because, who was SHE to want MORE?

Here’s what I know now, clinically and personally:

Chronic self-abandonment is LEARNED.
This wasn’t how you were born… it’s what you were taught to survive.

This post isn’t about hustle.
This post isn’t about MANIFESTING your way into a new life.

This is about the quiet, terrifying, sacred decision to stop outsourcing your worth to everyone else’s comfort.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You just need to start walking BESIDE your life instead of behind it.

I’m still learning that. Every single day.
But I’m no longer waiting for permission. 🖤

If this hit somewhere deep — share it with the woman who needs it. She’s probably not going to say she does.

04/25/2026

Most people think becoming means arriving somewhere.
It doesn’t.

Becoming looks like this:

- Sitting with the discomfort instead of numbing it.
- Questioning patterns instead of repeating them.
- Letting parts fall away — without rushing to fill the space.

And yes — being SEEN along the way.
Not to be saved.
Remembering that you don’t have to disappear while finding yourself.

Becoming is messy.
It’s slow.
It hurts sometimes.
And it’s STILL worth it.

If this is where you are right now — you’re not behind. You’re right on time. 🖤

04/20/2026

For a lot of us, boundaries weren’t modeled—they were something we had to learn the hard way.

So when you start setting them, it can feel uncomfortable… even wrong.

But boundaries aren’t walls.They’re the very thing that keeps you from losing yourself while trying to keep others.

If this resonates, save it for the days you need the reminder.

04/15/2026

When you witness someone else’s pain up close, it shifts something in you.

Every day, I’m blessed with this responsibility. I choose it because it allows me the privilege of seeing the realities of this life:

Pain.
Survival.
Choices we wish we could undo.
Situations we don’t know how to solve.

Instead of judgment, compassion is needed.
Instead of distance, awareness is needed.

This is your reminder: if you’re in a place of strength right now, be gentle with the people around you.

And if you’re not sure where to find the strength to push through; this is your reminder that your story isn’t over. There is still a way forward. Always.

04/02/2026

World Autism Awareness Day is a reminder that not everyone experiences the world the same way, and that’s not something to fix, it’s something to embrace.

I will continue advocating in this work in the hope that [one day], we can live in a world that chooses understanding, patience and acceptance—because being seen and supported should be the standard. 💙

03/08/2026

Some women didn’t become strong by choice.

Life chose for them.
They became strong because they had to keep going
when no one saw how heavy things were.

Today I’m thinking about the women who:

Carry the world while healing themselves.
Hold space for everyone else
while quietly rebuilding their own souls.

Strength can’t always look loud.
Thats why women have to carry healing in one hand
and courage in the other.

Today we celebrate the resilience,
the quiet bravery,
and the healing that women bring into the world.

Happy International Women’s Day
to the women who keep showing up anyway

💛

01/21/2026

If you need to talk, reach out to talk to someone.

💪 𝗔𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀

If you’re 18+ and struggling with depression, anxiety and anxiety-related conditions, you can access free, short-term cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) through the 𝗢𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 (𝗢𝗦𝗣) program. CBT gives you practical tools to manage difficult emotions and situations.

📋 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀: OSP provides free, flexible care, including in-person and virtual options. You can access self-led resources or therapy sessions to learn coping strategies that can make a difference in your mental health.

📍 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗢𝗦𝗣 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆: ontariohealth.ca/clinical/mental-health-addictions/structured-psychotherapy

12/13/2025

Love — real love — costs something.
Every relationship we value asks something of us.
Children ask for presence.
Siblings ask for a bridge.
Friends ask for patience.
Colleagues ask for grace.
Partners ask for understanding.

Love is not free —
but its price is always worth paying.

Because the places where we sacrifice THROUGH love,
are the same places we grow.
The same places we expand.
The same places where we become MORE

If you woke up carrying someone in your heart today because they’re no longer here…
That, too, is love.

10/24/2025

Do you know how far you’ve come?

This is for anyone doubting the transformation they have gone through.

Just look back.

👉🏿 Feel like nothing’s changing? …look back
👉🏿 Wondering whether it gets better?… look back
👉🏿 Feel like you’re behind?…look back

When I look back 5 years, I see someone doing her best with half the tools, half the peace, half the knowledge I carry now. What I know is that every stumble, every sigh, every teardrop that fell along the way taught me something that stretched me toward who I am today.

So, keep moving, even if it’s one small step. That’s the gift of time—each day forward gives us new chances to shift our story.

10/21/2025

We rise by lifting each other — and what a beautiful rise it’s been.

I was honoured this past weekend to receive a community service award at the Abeingo Gala in recognition of my contributions to the Kenyan community in Canada and, beyond.

This award belongs to all of us — every heart that believes in showing up, giving back, and building community with love. 💛

And what a celebration it was! The incredible Silla Sky filled the room with music that touched the soul — a perfect reminder that music, joy and connection are the true heartbeat of a community. Her passion for music and the joy she brings to the room, there are simply no words to describe it! 🎶

Here is to love in action and to the beauty of rising together.