Brendan D.L. Callaghan Counselling and Psychotherapy

10/10/2023

I’m happy to announce Journal One Eight Two is now internationally available in hardcover, softcover, and e-reading formats.

This journal configuration weaves together an organized collection of research-backed tools for self-reflection, self-understanding, and self-growth.

Journal One Eight Two offers daily, weekly, and monthly reflection entries to help you facilitate and keep track of personal growth across a 6-month span. The final biannual-review entry is designed to reflect on and record the insight gained and achievements made across the prior 182 days.

Features:
- 182 unique, daily prompts
- Daily, weekly, monthly, and biannual reflection outlines
- An appropriate amount of space per entry; enough to write, but not so much that paper is wasted
- No messy boxes or images to get in the way of your writing
- Straightforward, reader/writer-friendly instructions
- Consistent, organized entry style

**Please be sure your e-reading device is universally compatible with notation before purchase if e-book is your preferred journalling format**

Head to the link in my bio or paste
https://a.co/d/hagdppC into your browser to order your copy today.

10/05/2023

I’m pleased to announce the establishment of The Mindful Man Co. — an Ontario-based men’s workshop company. Life for the modern man is often an experience riddled with barriers to authentic self-actualization. Speak your mind but don’t overshare; be ambitious but do not overtake; express your feelings but show no emotion; strive for strength but not power (as if the only thing more troublesome than a ‘weak’ man is a strong one).

Through thoughtful exercises, insightful discussions, and experiential exercises, you will learn to recognize the masks you wear and the roles you play. The goal is to challenge and reshape the limiting beliefs and negative patterns that have held you back. By crafting a re-imagined life script that aligns with your aspirations, you will embark on a journey of personal growth, allowing you to step into your power with confidence as an effective, mindful man.

In this workshop we will explore the archetypes of the masculine which include the King (Authority), Lover (Compassion), Warrior (Courage) and Magician (Transformation). Experiential exercises, including breathwork, mindfulness and somatic awareness will help you connect to these archetypes purposefully and to use them as resources to manifest the mature masculine and the life you desire.

Register now to secure your spot in this transformative experience. Your authenticity awaits you and your potential knows no bounds. Step into the realm of The Mindful Man and set forth on a voyage of self-discovery that will resonate through each facet of your life from this day forth.

For more information or to register, e-mail Jason@NewmarketTherapy.com or Brendan@NewmarketTherapy.com or Call Susan SUSAN GRAHAM, INTAKE MANAGER, AT (289) 500-8039.

11/13/2022

There are a variety of variations of attachment theory. Above is a synthesis of the most clear-cut variations of attachment in mature (teen to adult) relationships, with those variations being those described by John Bowlby and by Mary Ainsworth.

Unlike personality (think “The Big 5” factor analysis; OCEAN), attachment styles are malleable – a fearful-avoidant style can be regulated and resolved, dismissive-avoidant softened, anxious-preoccupied soothed, and, unfortunately, secure attachment can be shattered by mistreatment or betrayal.

*Note: As with any categorical system applied to humans, nuance and complexity need to be taken into account when working through attachment styles. It is not uncommon to identify with traits or experiences presented in more than one of the attachment styles presented in the matrix above. Working with your therapist to dynamically explore each and identify which style you most strongly resonate with is the first step towards the fostering and flourishing of secure attachment.

01/21/2022

The concept of wisdom can be understood as the quality of effective experiential navigation via the application of cognitive tools ascertained throughout life.

To use the DBT skill ‘Wise Mind’ is to balance the scale of our rational mind and emotional mind; being aware and respectful of our own feelings while responding to them with reason.

What does this look like in practice?

- Be mindful of your feelings, as they direct your attention to things that might be important to you.

-Explore the object of your attention as determined by your feelings (a situation, choice, relationship) from a fact-based perspective. ‘Socratic questioning’ (a tool you can find in an earlier post on this page) can help you reality check and eliminate assumptions here.

- Once it seems that you’ve sorted out the logistics and have come to a decision about how to respond to the situation, bring awareness back to your feelings. Does the rational evaluation feel like it lines up with your moral philosophy? Is your decision congruent with your values? This process pairs well with the ‘choice point,’ which can also be found in a previous post on this page.

Unrelated to wise mind, you may have noticed that I’ve changed the name of this page. This is because the prior acronym wasn’t so easy to remember and I want this page and its resources to be as convenient to access as possible.

12/02/2021

DEAR MAN is a DBT skill geared towards the efficient communication of your needs without crossing boundaries of others or compromising respect for yourself.

The first image outlines the raw skill, and the second guides through it’s application. To take it a step further, I recommend answering those prompting questions in writing to better formulate, practice, and remember your strategy.

When applied in concert with active listening skills and fair fighting rules (you can find overviews of those in previous posts) DEAR MAN can significantly increase the likelihood of success.

In practice, I most often use this tool to help clients negotiate with their bosses, romantic partners, or family members.

Please feel free to save or screenshot this post to use it for yourself as needed.

10/14/2021

A large body of research suggests writing carefully about uncertain or traumatic events from the past, present, or future produces a variety of psychological, behavioural, and even physiological benefits.

The three letters exercise is one that can be applied to help individuals feeling stuck in the past, lost in the present, uncertain and concerned about the future to reconceptualise and realign their long term narratives -- catching up with the present and projecting down the path to a healthy future.

This exercise can be applied effectively as presented above, but I will often make adjustments to best suit the needs of an individual client (e.g. focus on letter 1 or 2 to start if the past is stable; focus on letter 1 if the present and future feel safe, etc.).

For individuals struggling heavily with the past in isolation, my two part “Exercise in Forgiveness” (a handful of post earlier on this page) may be a more appropriate intervention.

For individuals struggling more heavily on immediate to medium-term alignment, the “Best Possible Self” visualization exercise (a little further back on this page) may be more appropriate -- though elements of this have been woven into letter 2, and it can be used in conjunction with letter 2 to inform its written structure.

09/29/2021

The strong connection between dietary behaviour and mental health is an all-too-often overlooked piece of the puzzle that is human wellness.

Check out my recent article on nutrition and cognition if you’re interested in learning about the nature of this connection and how to use it to your advantage:

There is a connection between dietary behaviour and mental health. Often overlooked, nutrition is an essential component in helping you to recover from anxiety and other related mood issues. Brenda Callaghan is a Registered Psychotherapist and Certified Nutritionist. He can help you incorporate a sm...

09/11/2021

You might need to zoom in a bit on this one,

Understanding and communicating our emotions is a key tool for the maintenance or improvement of individual mental health and for maintaining healthy relationships.

Our emotions work to direct our attention to our current wants and needs, drive our actions, and help us access deeper beliefs (by exploring feelings about thoughts, feelings about those feelings, and so on).

In order to use our emotional compass effectively, it’s important to advance our emotional vocabulary beyond broad statements such as “I’m feeling good,” “I’m upset,” or “I’m okay.”

Working from the primary emotions listed in the middle of this emotion wheel, trace outwards to refine your understanding of what you feel.

Please note that it is certainly possible to experience more than one emotion in a given situation, and so you can repeat this process until you’ve accumulated a list of refined feelings that comprise your current emotional state in totality (e.g. combinations of facets of happiness and surprise, anger and disgust, etc.).

Please feel free to save or screenshot this post to be used in your own life as needed.

07/31/2021

Self-awareness is a crucial component of mental health. That being said, being actively self-aware (and remembering) emotionally moving moments throughout the week can be easier said than done.

Mood logging can help increase awareness of how dietary decisions, physical activity (or lackthereof), and sleep hygiene play a role in your personal emotional wellness.

Using the chart in slide 2 (as a print-out or as a template for your own structure), you can identify and track internal and external triggers of pleasant or unpleasant emotional or cognitive experiences.

The identification of the interrelationship between these external and internal variables can inform which coping tools to be mindful of in different situations, as well as bringing awareness to areas of your life where adjustments ought to be implemented (e.g. time management, boundary enhancement, etc.).

I encourage you to try out this strategy for at least one week to see what you might discover about yourself. I would also recommend taking this a step further by bringing your findings to your therapist in your next session to see what other insight you might be able to uncover through verbal exploration.

In the slide 3 example, we see:
Monday: a frustrating meeting triggered a large mood shift. Exploring the nuances of the frustration and appropriate coping tools.
Tuesday: Overworking leads to burnout, which leads to less overall productivity rumination. Exploring a balance of self-care and being effective (DBT skills) here could be helpful. We also see evening rumination that negatively impacts sleep hygiene on this night, so decatastrophizing (see in a previous post) or cognitive reframing could be helpful here.
Wednesday: We see looking forward to the weekend is motivating, and interactions with their partner are both positives
Thursday: We see the benefits of restorative sleep
Friday: We see pride in problem-solving (with lasting effects).
Saturday: The anxiety felt before the evening social event is likely worth exploration.
Sunday: We see effective use of coping tools (see gratitude journaling in one of my earliest posts). The 5-7pm nonspecific anxiety would also be worth exploration.

05/21/2021

The Choice Point is a simple decision-making framework to emphasize and enact value-consistent behaviour at difficult moments of life.

‘Towards’ moves ought to incorporate self-compassion, personal ethic, and congruence with your personal interests and values independent of external factors (i.e. using your authentic self, not expectations of other individuals or social structures to inform your decision-making).

Away moves occur when cognitive distortions/thinking errors (you can find comprehensive lists of these in earlier posts), or other unhelpful thoughts and feelings hook into our minds and pull us away from our best possible selves and the lives we want to build.

At any given choice point, it is helpful to S.T.O.P. - slow down (you can use the 543 method or square breathing outlined in previous posts to aid in this), Take note of what you’re feeling (you can use mindfulness/leaves on a stream outlined in a previous post for this), Open up space for helpful thoughts (you can use socratic questioning, REBT/ABCDE outlined in previous posts for this), and Pursue your values by selecting a behaviour that meets your criteria for a towards move. For help identifying what/who you would like to move towards, you can use the Best Possible Self visualization exercise (also outlined in a previous post) as a guide.

As an alternative to S.T.O.P., you can be B.O.L.D - Breathe slowly to slow down, Observe what you are doing/feeling/thinking and allow productive thoughts to flow, Listen to your values (right now, who do you want to be?), and Decide on an action that supports those values.

05/07/2021

Anxiety -- an apprehensive anticipation of encountering an object, person, place, or situation (aka stimulus) -- is often experienced as some combination of worry, impaired concentration, irritability, increased heart rate, fatigue, and trouble sleeping.

A tempting, commonly selected strategy to manage anxious symptoms is avoidance of the stimulus that triggers those symptoms.

While avoiding the stimulus may provide immediate, short-term ‘relief’ from anxiety, it’s a severely ineffective medium to long-term strategy:

Avoidance leads to the magnification of anxiety, as the brain becomes conditioned to believe avoidance leads to ‘relief.’ This motivates the brain to worsen symptoms the next time you are faced with (or anticipate facing) the stimulus, motivating you to avoid once more.

So, what’s the more effective alternative?

The best way to handle an anxiety-provoking stimulus or situation is to willingly confront it if that stimulus can be modified (e.g. you wouldn’t be anxious about homework if your homework was done). Of course, that’s much easier said than done. To make this easier, graduated (or modified) exposure (confronting the stimulus just outside of your comfort zone and progressing) such as breaking an assignment into manageable parts, dipping your toes into the water at the beach (before slowly wading in next time, and so on), answering one question in class once per week (then twice, and so on) can be highly effective.

Alternatively, I would recommend decatastrophizing, Socratic questioning, the 543 method, square breathing, or progressive relaxation to ground. If an anxiety provoking stimulus or situation is outside of your control, I would recommend ACCEPTS. All of which can be found in my previous posts.