Heritage Family Wellness

11/30/2021

Alright, which of you gorgeous angels mailed this to me?? 😆🙌🏻💕💕💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💕

11/16/2021

Counting myself so lucky to have good friends who brave the snow even with chronic health flare ups to gift freezer meals (in jars that they won’t resent me for maybe never giving back) for my birthday. Thanks for not letting me waste away ☺️🙌🏻✨

09/13/2021

7 yo: When I leave for school, Mum, please take care of Parody
Me: Sure I can take care of Parroty
7 yo: Thanks. It’s “Parody”.

09/07/2021

Them: you juggle so much, how do you keep track of everything?
Me: I have a very sophisticated organizational system.

06/13/2021

Happy Sunday dear hearts. May someone delight in you ✨

06/08/2021

I recently had a conversation with a new parent who was asking whether they were over feeding their baby. I inquired about why they were wondering. “Well,” they replied, “I don’t really think my baby is eating too much, it’s just that I have the voice of my mom in my head saying so”.

Today’s TMI departs a bit from some of the body-er topics we’ve covered so far. I want to talk about spoiling babies.

For little babies, the world outside is so very big. Babies are growing rapidly physically, but they are also learning to adjust to life outside the perfect comfort of the womb. Hearing louder noises, feeling new sensations on their skin, smelling unfamiliar smells, experiencing for the first time what it’s like to be separate from their birth parent is all a lot to take in. Snuggles, drinks, and naps are one of the primary ways that babies are able to tap into the closeness they need to feel secure in the big wide world.

Here are some things to keep in mind when facing the myth of “spoiling the baby”:

The older generations didn’t understand that babies had feelings. In fact, up until the 1980’s scientists and researchers didn’t really believe babies even experienced pain. Our parents worked with what the experts told them about how to be good parents - and they struggled to make decisions for their new babies just the way we sometimes do.

Formula feeding babies was much more prevalent in our parents’ and grandparents’ generation, so lots of grands won’t know that unlike formula, the body regulates human milk to be the perfect food for our baby’s needs. It actually changes to suit our baby’s needs as they grow (think about the difference between colostrum, which is sparse and high in nutrients immunological components and low in sugars and fat, and the carb/sugar/fat rich milk of an older baby). Human milk also alters when we are exposed to illness by adding in more antibodies, and when our babies are going through growth spurts by adding in more fat. It is impossible to overfeed a baby on human milk.

Babies are connection machines. They are designed to make their worlds all about them because that is what helps them to thrive and grow as small vulnerable beings. It’s impossible to spoil a baby with too many cuddles, too much attention, or too many sessions at the breast or chest. We now know that responding to a baby when they indicate need actually helps them to self-regulate, because they learn to depend on a loving, prompt response when they are hungry, tired, overstimulated, or in discomfort.

So, if your new pal wants to nurse around the clock or never be put down, know that it is developmentally normal. They’ll soon grow into more rhythm and routine, but for now, it’s their privilege to be held close (for food and for comfort) and adored.

06/04/2021

See baby will hug

06/02/2021

No this week (should I double up for next week? Send me your questions!)

Meanwhile, did you know bodies are really smart, and weird pregnancy cravings usually have a meaning. (Yes, even that midnight craving-to-tears for the entire smoked meat aisle when you‘ve been a vegetarian for years... 😅)

What was your weirdest craving?

What are your cravings telling you?? 🍦🍟🥨🥛🍊

Pickles and ice cream and pregnancy they just go together right?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All jokes aside, I don't know anyone who craved pickles and ice cream together during pregnancy 🤔 When the pregnancy cravings hit, it's a need it NOW kinda situation. They often turn into a running joke with your partner who is running to the store for the 5th time this week for you, but what if those pregnancy cravings were actually your body telling you, "hey, I could really use more of this _______." Would you look at them differently?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In a research study conducted by Catilyn Placek on four evolutionary hypotheses for pregnancy cravings, the evolutionary theories proposed that food cravings seek foods that either satisfy the energy demand of the growing fetus and/or replenish nutrients lost from nausea, vomiting, and food aversions during the first trimester. Your body is pretty incredible, it knows exactly what foods you need to help fill nutrient deficiencies.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Except what happens when those foods you are craving are not the healthiest choice?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ask yourself, what is my body telling me?
You want ice cream ➡️ baby's bones are growing and you might need more calcium
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🌟Acknowledged the craving- ignoring it will just leave you wanting it more
🌟Satisfy the craving- have the bowl of ice cream, being mindful to stop eating when you are satisfied.
🌟Know you might be needing more of something. In this example, calcium to support the baby's bone growth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
p.s. adding a handful of nuts with your ice cream can help reduce blood sugar spikes!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Now you can be mindful to add more calcium-rich foods to your diet! Dairy products, chia seeds, almonds, broccoli, and beans are all great sources of calcium!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The goal is to create a balance between a nutrient-rich diet and your cravings to support both you and your baby without feeling deprived!

05/26/2021

This is one of my all-time favourite bits of birth-nerdery!

Who knew Monday 8am was such a popular time to have a baby?

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/monday-8-a-m-time-to-have-a-baby/

Share with us! When were your babies born?

Births peak on weekdays during daytime work hours

05/20/2021

Friends! June is coming! We want to celebrate Pride with you.
If you are 2SLGBTQIA and want to receive a postcard from my family, send your preferred name and mailing address to rhobi@heritagefamilywellness.com and we will make sure to send you some fun mail 🌈💕🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🎈

05/18/2021

This answers a question submitted about lactation and s*x.
As a young nursing parent, another pregnant woman was chatting with me as I breastfed my son. She touched her belly, scrunched up her face and said “I’M not going to breastfeed. My husband says those are just for s*x - and I agree.” Earlier in my body feeding experience, a grouchy night nurse replied to my timid inquiry about whether feeding my baby for the first time was supposed to hurt with the curt retort “Of course it hurts. You haven’t had anyone suck on your ni***es before!” I remember thinking “speak for yourself, lady.”
Here’s the short version of my answer to today’s TMI Q: if ni**le, chest, or breast play was part of your s*x life before baby, there is no reason not to include it after, even if you’re lactating.
If you’re not sure if it’s something you want to explore, there are a couple things to consider:

💕Nipples tend to be more sensitive when lactating, which for some folks can be a turn on and for others is a cue to dial back on being touched there.

💕The same hormones that cause milk release (oxytocin) are the same ones involved in s*x. Especially for folks with a strong letdown reflex, s*x when breastfeeding or chest feeding can be, as one midwife advised me, “slick”. It’s a good idea to have a towel handy if you’re one of those folks whose shirt gets soaked the moment your baby cries.

💕Many partners enjoy breastmilk (and “breastmilk fetish” is a whole Google rabbit trail), and can be as much an enjoyed part of s*x as any other body fluid.

💕For folks that aren’t into milk, experimenting with s*x positions that minimize movement of the breasts can help (side-lying, missionary, and do*******le with chest support are good choices), or wearing a tight shirt/bra during s*x.
It’s also important to remember that our bodies are changed by birth, and by tending to a baby. Some folks are energized by nursing and feel ready for more intimacy with their partners, while others feel “touched out” and will need to seek intimacy in other ways. Both are totally normal, totally okay approaches to settling into the changes a new baby brings.

05/16/2021

Actual footage of me trying to act normal after being inside for 14 months

05/15/2021

Psst, the weather’s getting nicer and that means some of us are gonna struggle with cultural conditioning about our bodies. Especially those of us whose bodies have changed or are changing due to pregnancy, birth, or nursing/body feeding.

I don’t think my body is the “least interesting thing about me” (spoiler: I probably don’t think that about you, either. Bodies are great!), but I am 1,000% on board with body neutrality. There is so much pressure to “get our bodies back” after we birth... but... We don’t. Ever. Just like aging is inevitable, our bodies are changed indelibly by birth.

Getting to know our post-pregnancy bodies is such an important part of the childbearing season. Don’t put pressure on yourself to LOVE your “new” body. Give yourself permission to get to know it again. Even though I might never be in a place where I can celebrate every single part of my body, I can thank it for carrying me, and I can dress it how I want - those are absolutely good enough ways to honour the shape I‘m in.

User: fairycosmos
look. i don't think my stretch marks are beautiful. i don't think they're tiger stripes or natural tattooos. i don't think my acne is beautiful. i don't think the bags under my eyes are beautiful. i just think they're human. and i don't think i have to be beautiful all of the time in order to be accepted and loved and sucessful. i don't think every small detail of my outer appearence needs to be translated into prettiness.

User: serotonin-sunrise
fun fact: this POV is actually called "body neutrality" and it's SO MUCH more accessible/realistic for a lot of people. it's based on the idea that the way we look is the least interesting/important thing about who we are, and that our bodies are worthy of respect regardless if they fit the mold of the current beauty ideals.

05/11/2021

Happy Tuesday dear hearts!

One of the funniest things about this job is the number of texts/phone calls/prenatal questions I get that begin with “This is probably TMI, but...”
So far, I truly have never received a question that is TMI for the business of bodies. Helping people notice and decode the changes that their bodies experience in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum is a huge part of being a birthworker!
On Tuesdays I’ll be posting common “TMI” questions I receive and will be answering yours (you can DM them to me and I’ll post them anonymously). No questions are off limits, and I can pretty much guarantee that someone out there has the same curiosity as you.
What do you wonder about pregnant/birthing/postpartum bodies?

05/09/2021

In nine years of practice, I have had the deep honour of witnessing women as they transform into mothers. I’m so grateful for each family who has invited me along this journey with them. Today is your day.
A lot of folks and businesses are struggling to make this day feel inclusive. This year (perhaps I’ll change my mind), I don’t really think it’s possible for one day to encompass all the nuances around motherhood and caregiving.
To me, it isn’t just about the work of parenting and nurturing- which is work that transcends genders and the title of motherhood- it’s about the toil of moving about in a world designed to make us question whether we are ever good enough once we get the title of Mother. A certain amount of questioning and muddling is involved in parenthood in general, but “motherhood” has a whole luggage car full of cultural baggage.
So, today is a day to celebrate and be proud of moving through motherhood this crazy year. To notice and name and be proud of (and hopefully celebrated for) the infinite invisible tasks of motherhood. To hold with gentleness the things we’ve been asked to give up (or maybe have given up willingly) or put on hold in the name of motherhood. To take up as much space as we possibly can on this one day- which is indulgent and commercial and gendered, sure- but which is as good a milestone as any to give ourselves some affirmation and some rest ✨

05/09/2021

Thinking of you...
If you’re not a mom yet and you want to be.
If you are a mom but aren’t able to be with your kids.
If you haven’t been the mom you want to be.
If your own mom isn’t here for you.
If you’re not sure if today is for you.

Xo
R

With Mothers Day tomorrow we want to acknowledge that for some people it’s not an easy or joyful day.

Thanking of you 💜

05/06/2021

Remember when you had a brand new baby and everything was new and every day felt like the same day and you sort of lost touch with the outside world but were pretty sure most people were carrying on out there having more fun than you were having? This is a bit like that.

There is no “right” way to be a good parent right now. Speak very kindly to yourself as you move through this day. So many of us are exhausted and unsure- and our kids are too.
Did you know that HFW offers one hour parenting sessions for folks with kids 0-6? Get help strategizing parenting tools that will work for your family, and get the reassurance you need to keep showing up for your kids in the way you want to. DM or link in bio for details.