08/27/2024
PUBLISHED IN THREE NIAGARA DAILIES
Conspiracy Theories For Seniors – Aging With Humor by The Retirement Coach
Seniors are surrounded by conspiracy theories that dominate the news, shaking trust in our fellows.
These theories are often politically motivated and popularized by gullible people, incapable of critical thinking.
In North America, that includes anyone exposed to public education.
One former president launched himself into politics via the birther conspiracy involving Barack Obama, insisting that Obama was not born in the USA, making him ineligible to be president.
This scheme enjoyed so much success that he invented one conspiracy after another for four years, employing terms like “hoax,” “witch hunt,” “deep state,” and his infamous “good people on both sides.”
The aforementioned gullible types drank so much of the addictive Jim Jones-like Kool Aid, that U.S. democracy sprung many leaks, as he earned more than 70 million votes in an election.
Think about that. You can fool some of the people some of the time, and it appears, 70 million of all of the people all of the time.
This election featured mass no-mask-or-social-distance rallies during a pandemic which claimed 1,168,021 U.S. lives.
Florida and California led the way with 8,063,346 and 14,332,727 respectively.
Even though he lost the election, the also-ran claimed victory, and not only his gang of rabid followers believed him, but also the Republican party itself that sank to deeper depths than blue whale p**p.
Alas, on January 6, there was even an insurrection attempt featuring white supremacy gangs and Q-Anon adherents, one wearing horns and brandishing a spear attached to a U.S. flag.
The problem with conspiracy theories is that, like religion, they become a matter of faith rather than something that can be proved or disproved.
This can be embarrassing later when historical facts surface that distort one’s faith.
For example, a recent Vatican report was filled with the sordid details of the rise and fall of former Archbishop of Washington, Theodore McCarrick.
The then Pope and now saint John Paul II, promoted McCarrick despite being aware of allegations that he was a predator who had sexually manipulated and abused seminarians.
Even saints are human, and can make mistakes, but it does threaten belief in religious tourism to hot spots like Lourdes in France, Fatima in Portugal and Santiago de Compostella in Spain.
Now if only a youngster in your town might one day see the image of God imprinted on a piece of toast.
Aided by the Chamber of Commerce and the municipal CEO, that just might turn the sleepy town into a dynamite tourism destination attracting the upwardly mobile, affluent set seeking momentary diversion.
A contemporary conspiracy issue involved vaccinations that dramatically came to our rescue for Covid-19 relief.
Some believed that it was part of a left-wing plot funded by George Soros for the U.N. to take control of the world, which is a joke.
The five permanent members of the Security Council actually control the world, and they most often disagree, using a veto to stop others in their progressive tracks.
Social media aids conspiracy theories, and savvy media moguls such as Australian Rupert Murdock turned this debacle into a so-called TV news station, essentially a propaganda base.
Like Murdock, seniors should get on board and monetize this phenomenon. It’s time that we established conspiracy theories that we might enjoy for ourselves.
I will get you started, and if you send me your suggestions, I will, like Fox News, report them with utmost candor.
For my first theory, let me suggest that muffins are far better than smoking pot.
Each morning, along with coffee, they help make seniors feel content.
In the afternoon, one should get some exercise by strolling downtown and when there, why not reward yourself with ice cream from one of many vendors.
Now, you will really feel content. My theory in essence: muffins and ice cream are the secrets to happiness.
United, seniors can become a strong political force.
Given that “Sleepy Joe” Biden and “Moscow” Mitch McConnell and most Congress members are 100 years old, do you see an opportunity here?
Nobody on your municipal council, especially the mayor, should be younger than 70.
“I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience,” Ronald Reagan quipped during the 1984 presidential debates when asked if, at 73, he was too old to be President.
This is our chance.
I will organize the coup.
If you are over 70, send me $15 for registration, and I will send you back a certificate authorizing your membership along with a MAGA (make aging great again) baseball cap.
It’s a win-win scenario.
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