Audace Counselling Collective

11/24/2022

Balance may not be a real thing but boundaries sure are!

Setting boundaries can be hard, especially with family members.

The important thing to remember is that is someone throws a fit because you set a boundary it is more evidence that the boundary was needed.

11/22/2022

Lets talk about Balance.

This is a topic that is very important to me and something that I have worked hard to address in both my own life and with clients.

It all started in my first year of University. At the time I was working full time and a mom of 3 so my plate was full. I remember sitting in a sociology class listening to my professor talk about balance and handing out a picture similar to the one in this post. She explained to us that as women this is the expectation, except unlike in this post we are suppose to do all the things with a smile and not a single complaint. This was the way society perceives women and in turn this is the expectation we place on ourselves. My question to her was how the heck am I suppose to find balance when my life is chaotic and I feel like I have 27 tabs open in my brain at all times.

The thing is balance as great as is sounds, is not a thing. You cannot be 100% balanced in every aspect of your life. Expecting to be is setting yourself up for failure.

How many of you have had to miss a Childs sports game or Christmas Concert because of a work or education commitment? Or how many of you have felt guilty saying no to a work or education opportunity because you have a Childs activity?

See there is no balance, you are always giving more in a certain aspect of your life. And that is OK. It shifts and changes based on your personal and professional life. Sometimes you're crushing it at work and your laundry is piled up at home. Again, thats OK. Sometimes your mom game is strong and your house is clean and suppers are premade and your not able to commit to additional workloads, and thats OK.

Letting go of the expectation that we have to be an accessional employee while being the most attentive wife, while creating well balanced meals from Pinterest everyday, while organizing a hockey tournament, while being a checked in friend, and on and on and on is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Life is hard, you're doing your best. Who actually cares if your floors are dirty and your kids ate Kraft diner for super :)

11/21/2022

The Gottman techniques are a practice that we continually use and hopefully get better at using. We don’t use them once and then have a harmonious relationship until the end of time.

Here are some actionable techniques to bring into your relationship practice.

To book an appointment email
audacecounsellingcollective@outlook.com
Evening and Weekend appointments are available

11/20/2022

All relationships, even the most successful ones, have conflict. It is unavoidable. The Gottman research shows that it’s not the appearance of conflict, but rather how it’s managed that predicts the success or failure of a relationship. They say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve,” because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects that provide opportunities for growth and understanding.

And there are problems that you just won’t solve due to natural personality differences between you and your partner, but if you can learn to manage those problems in a healthy way, then your relationship will succeed.

The first step in effectively managing conflict is to identify and counteract The Four Horsemen when they arrive in your conflict discussions. If you don’t, you risk serious problems in the future of your relationship.

11/19/2022

The Gottman method consists of 5 parts;
Assessment
Treatment
"Phasing out" of therapy
Termination
Outcome evaluation

The method uses assessment tools in the first stage to build the couples narrative, complete an oral history of the relationship and identify family histories.

To book an appointment please email audacecounsellingcollective@outlook.com
Evening and weekend appointments are available

11/18/2022

I completed Level 1 Clinical Training; Bridging the Couple Chasm of Gottman Method Couples therapy this year.
The Gottman Institute is the culmination of Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s life work as researchers and clinical psychologists. Their approach to relationship health has been developed from over 40 years of research with more than 3,000 couples—the most extensive study ever done on marital stability.

For those of you who may be wondering what this style of couples therapy looks like I thought I would break it down a little.

The Sound Relationship House theory is an integrative approach to couples therapy. It deals with conflict and its resolution, but also extends into the everyday aspects of couples interactions through building and repairing the couples friendship and love. It focuses on the couples shared meaning system.

To schedule an appointment please email audacecounsellingcollective@outlook.com
Evening and Weekend appointments available

11/17/2022

Trauma is anything that overwhelms the brains ability to cope!

Not everyone’s trauma looks the same and not everyone reacts the same. We often downplay the “small” trauma or feel guilty because worse things have happen to other people. But trauma is trauma.

Often times we don’t even know what we’re experiencing is rooted in trauma or that what happened to us was a traumatic event!

There is no timeline on healing from trauma, your feelings are valid.

11/17/2022

As we move from regular everyday stress and anxiety into the holiday stress and anxiety it’s important to check in with yourself!
Being aware of when your battery is low can help to prevent you from burnt out, added anxiety, fights with your partner/kids, and feeling down on yourself.
Remember it’s ok to say no to extra activities and get togethers. It’s ok to take time for yourself. It’s ok to do the thing that charge your battery.

And most importantly it’s ok to ask for help.

10/19/2022

07/20/2022

Oh my what a great experience I had. I just got home from having a facial by and let me tell you I have never felt more relaxed.

Self care is so important and we often justify it by saying things like “I don’t drink so I spend money on XYZ” or “I don’t eat takeout so I spend money on XYZ”

Why do we have to justify it? Just do it, I mean don’t go crazy but if getting a facial once in awhile gives you an hour of peace or having your toes always freshly polished makes you feel good about yourself then go for it!

Whatever it is that helps you to relax, unwind, have moments of peace and calm. These moments are important and don’t need justification.

And if your looking for the most relaxing glorious facial make sure and reach out to she will hook you up

06/23/2022

I am now registered with NIHB to provide counselling services.

For more information check out the following website

https://www.sac-isc.gc.ca/eng/1576441552462/1576441618847

06/23/2022

In the wise words of Shrek “better out then in”
That is true when we talk about big feelings and emotions, however there is a healthy, safe, constructive way to talk out those feelings.

Getting the feelings out while also working towards solutions and understanding of where the feelings came from to begin with

04/19/2022

Fill your cup first